Jackie's First Christmas

"Teague wake up," Salina said.

"Not now luv, it's too early."

Salina laughed. "It's Christmas, you can't sleep through Christmas! Especially not when it's your son's first Christmas."

Teague didn't move.

Salina sighed and walked into Jack's room. She picked him up out of the crib and said, "Wake up sweet heart, it's Christmas."

Jack perked up. He didn't understand the concept of the holiday but he understood the idea of presents surprisingly well for a boy his age.

"Do you want to help me wake up Daddy," she asked.


Salina walked over to Teague and placed Jack on his chest.


Teague sat up a little and saw his son yelling…and drooling on him. He grimaced and whipped the drool off his shirt. What with Salina determined to make this the best Christmas ever and dealing with his family…today was going to be a long day.

Teague looked down at his son, who was eyeing the presents under the bush and reaching for them. The entire family was in the backyard waiting to exchange presents. There used to be a small, flimsy looking tree in the backyard where they decided to put the presents under on this day but a sword fighting lesson gone wrong about a week ago had caused Brannigan to fall backwards onto it. Now they had to put their gifts under a bush. Jackie's first Christmas did not have a good start.

And then there was the incident earlier this morning in the kitchen. Salina and Teague's sisters had worked very hard making tons of food for today so there were dishes of every kind placed all around the kitchen. When he had put Jackie in a chair so his arms would be free to get breakfast Jack pulled on the table cloth.

A rather large bowl of pudding fell on Jack's head. Thankfully he wasn't hurt but he was covered in chocolate pudding. The women had thrown a fit and Jack got pudding for breakfast.

Now they were all in a circle outside in the afternoon. They couldn't open presents in the morning because mostly everybody had hangovers. Everybody was dressed in finer clothes then they usually wore. Women were wearing skirts, men were wearing clean clothes, and Teague was wearing his good coat, the red one. It would've looked like they were about to go to church; not that they ever go to church.

"Who wants to start," Brannigan asked.

"Me!" Valerie screamed. She stood up; she was sitting on the ground because there weren't enough chairs, and took all of the presents addressed to her. She quickly opened all of her presents. Then they went around in a circle opening presents. David, Brannigan, Dawn, Marie, Jim, April, Mary, Michael, Teague, and tons of nephews and nieces opened their presents without any incidents. Everyone got the usual; deck of cards, rum, money, rum, weapons, rum, ship's supplies, and rum. The children got toys and weapons; no rum. Then it was his mother's turn to open her present from McFleming.

It was a pistol with one shot.

"For when you realize what a horrible person you are and the world would be better off without you," she said with a smirk.

"I'm going to make you eat those words and this bullet you…"

"Let's move on," Salina said loudly giving a glare to both women. She wanted to keep the fighting at a minimum this year. After all it was her son's first Christmas.

"Fine," Hazel said sweetly. She took a present from under the bush and threw it at McFleming.

She opened it to find it was a really, really colossal sized shirt.

"For when you're not wearing a corset," his mother said with a smile.

"Moving on," Salina said loudly.

Finally it was Jackie's turn. He insisted on opening the presents by himself while he sat on the floor. Just like on his birthday he got various toys, like wooden ships, and occasionally some weapons. Then it was time to open Jim's present. Salina inwardly groaned remembering the last present he gave to her son. She was ready to take the present away from Jack in case it turned out to be another dead animal.

When Jack took away the wrapping it turned out to be to large sea turtle shells with leather straps going across them.

"Uhh, Jimmy," Teague started. "What are they and why did you give them to my son?"

"They're turtle shoes."

Everyone stared.

"Some idiot in Singapore sold them to me for a bargain. You put them on and you can walk on water! But I was too heavy to use them so I figured, Jack being the lightest, he would be able to use them."

Everyone kept staring.

"You're weird Uncle Jimmy," Valerie said, breaking the silence.

Jim looked offended. "I am not!"

"Yes you are," Michael said.

"I'm not," Jim yelled standing up and reaching for his sword.

"Enough," Salina screamed. She then reached for her presents. Teague got her a beautiful golden bracelet. She got some books, jewelry, and a small statue of a weird looking animal from somewhere in South America. The gift that most stood out was from Teague's mother. It was a book titled, The Woman's Guide to Proper Etiquette. It was only her will to not fight that kept her from calling the woman a hypocrite and throwing the book at her.

Finally night fell and it was time for Christmas dinner.

The women were very proud of the little feast they prepared. There were meat pies, rice, goose, fruit cake, vegetables and fruits of all kinds, chicken, nuts, cider, eggnog, and the second batch of pudding they made.

They made sure to threaten that whoever even dared to start a food fight was going to find their ship at the bottom of the ocean. David still managed to get food on himself. The other David, the lemur, was nowhere to be found. Valerie claimed it was because no one got him a present and now he was sad.

The conversations ranged from easy targets on the seas to the quality of crops from the colonies this year. They had discovered that Jack loved peanuts and Valerie was allergic to goose. She was forced to go to bed and would see a doctor the next day.

"I can't believe that there was barely any fighting this year," Teague exclaimed as he carried Jack into his room. Jack fell asleep from all of the excitement. He gently laid his son down into his crib.

"Well it's Christmas, the day of peace of earth and good will towards men," Salina said brightly. "Anything can happen, even in a family full of pirates."

Happy holidays!