8An: I am back people...and with the Spin-Off ending to the marauders and me. NOT SEQUEL. I had originally planned for this to be a one-shot. But as soon as I started typing I realised that it would be too long for a One-Shot. It will jump right into the fifth book as you will notice and then go back as flash-backs. So here it is. The first Chapter. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I have said it before and I will say it again...I do not own the brilliance that has come out of JK Rowlings brain.
This Is The Way The World Ends.
By Snuffles-sweetie
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper
-T.S. Eliot-
Chapter One.
Something should have clicked when Sirius started to duel with Bella. But I was too occupied with helping my children, Harry and the others to notice. But when I turned around, I wish I would have noticed.
I saw him laugh rather then heard the actual laugh.
It was like all the sounds had been turned off. Complete silence.
Everything seemed to go in slow-motion.
I saw the laughter and amusement in his eyes turn into shock when Bella's curse hit.
I saw the laughter mixed with shock fade when he fell. Fell into the veil, into the beyond.
The silence ended abruptly when a blood curling scream echoed in the atrium.
I have never heard such an agonized scream. The sound was horrible and inhuman.
It was then I noticed that the sound was coming from my own mouth. I fell to my knees in shock and I couldn't stop screaming. My scream was mixed with Harry's shouts for Sirius and Em and Chris screaming for their dad.
I felt someone touch my arm but I didn't react, I just kept on screaming until my throat was raw and no sound could come out of it.
I didn't even see Harry chase after Bella.
I didn't see my children's tearstained faces as they tried to talk to me.
I never saw Moony's worried expression when he tried to get my attention.
All I saw was his face, the veil and my death. Yes I do believe that a part of me died right there, that night. The second Sirius fell into that veil I felt my heart rip out of my chest and a part of my soul died.
I was nothing but an empty shell.
I don't remember much after that. I know someone; Moony, I think took us all to Hogwarts. This is where I woke up and started crying, hugging my kids. The reasons I was still here. I left them in the hospital wing to find Moony. I didn't have to walk far. He was right outside with Dumbledore, Molly and Arthur. I didn't hear their condolences, I didn't want to hear them, and all I saw was Moony. This is when I spoke my first words since it happened.
"Moony…I need to ask you a favour," I said, my voice hoarse from all the screaming and crying. He looked at me curiously and sadly and nodded.
"I need you to take Em and Chris tonight." I ignored the shocked gasp that Molly made and I guess that's what covered the sound from the door creaking.
"Why Char? Why would you want me to do that?" he said his expression sombre and unwilling. I knew he didn't understand. I didn't think he would either, no one would, except maybe him. But he was the reason for it so that didn't help much.
"Please Moony. I need to be alone and get really drunk tonight," I pleaded with him tears in my eyes.
"They need you Mrs Black. Why would you leave them alone in a moment like this! When they need you the most to help them with the loss of their…," Molly ranted and I angrily turned to her and snapped;
"Don't finish that sentence. And don't you think I know that! But I can't handle this tonight…I just can't! Maybe I'm a shitty mother and godmother, and not some kind of super mom like you…everyone can't be fucking perfect okay! I need to get real drunk and try and forget this!" I was breathing heavily and everyone around me looked shocked. I turned to Moony again and said;
"Please Moony…I beg of you. I beg you to take them just for tonight. I'll be there tomorrow morning sober and willing to handle everything…just don't make me tonight," I pleaded and begged but his expression didn't change. All I saw was confusion and pity.
"Why? If you give me a good reason…" He said. I felt a tear fall down my cheek when I opened my mouth again.
"I can't handle it tonight. I need to get drunk, and I don't want them to see me like that. Those kids are the only reason I'm still here, okay? I died the minute he did. I felt my heart…my soul rip apart…I died, Moony. I'm nothing but an empty shell…" I paused and breathed air that seemed to have a bitter taste and I didn't even know that air tasted anything.
"The reasons I still have any will power to live anymore are named Emily Rose Black, Christopher Regulus Black and Harry James Potter. Those are my only reasons to live. If they didn't exist you wouldn't be looking at me okay? I would have sliced my wrist or something, perhaps taken a swim in the lake without any intention of coming out of there... Don't look so damn shocked Moony you know its true. I lost him once before Moony. In the same night that I lost my brother and sister. And then I got him back…but now he's gone again and I can't get him back…never again…what have I done to deserve this? I must be a really shitty person right? And like Molly here has already stated I'm a shitty mum…but I need to get drunk and just…" I stopped to breathe and wipe my tears.
"This still hasn't explained why you want me to take them," the sad voice of Moony said. I looked up at him with a wry smile on my lips.
"Two words; I'm shitty person. That and…every time I look at Chris I see him and when I look at Em's eyes I see his eyes. I can't deal with staring at him or having his eyes stare back at me tonight. Any other time Moony, but not tonight." He seemed to understand and nodded. I hugged him and didn't even bother with saying goodbye to anyone, I couldn't handle it. Had I only known that we were being watched the whole time…
I hurried through the castle which was silent. This place that used to represent a time of happiness, now represented this dull, acing feeling that I couldn't name. I think I spotted Snape on my way through the door but I ignored him. I hurried over the moonlit grounds, my whole body acing of longing to get the hell away from there. I apparated as soon as I reached the gates of Hogwarts. I apparated to Grimmauld place, the last place on earth I really wanted to be in, but I couldn't think of anything else. I made the mistake of slamming the door to loud and was met by the screeching of my lovely mother-in-law.
"SCUM, BLOOD TRAITOR, INVADING THE NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK…!" she didn't get further than that because I screamed back at her;
"WOULD YOU SHUT UP YOU MISERABLE OLD HAG!" surprisingly, she did. Even as a portrait she must have sensed that something was terribly off. I stormed into the kitchen and grabbed every liquor bottle I could find. On my way upstairs to our…well it would be my room now I guess…I met Kreacher. He was mumbling to himself and forced a small bow mumbling something about;
"Missus Black…filthy blood traitor…" I sneered at him and kicked him out of my way. I stepped into the room that used to be ours and put all the bottles on the bed. I looked around dully and felt silent tears fall down my cheeks. This was not really a place filled with happy memories but it wasn't filled with terrible memories either, it was indifferent. That's the main reason I chose this place, I think.
I rummaged through the cabinet and found one of his shirts. I put it to my face and drew a huge breath. His scent filled my nostrils, his scent that smelled like the outdoors after the rain, which was strange because he hadn't stepped outside for a long time, and just this musky sent that only he could smell. The scent that usually gave me comfort, but now it just made me cry harder. I quickly threw my slightly bloody and dusty shirt away and pulled his shirt over my head. I was surrounded by his scent, it felt somewhat calming.
My next move was to "accio" the album I had made after we got married and the other one the girls and I made that were filled with pictures from school. And then that small box that held everything from the first rose he gave me to the beautiful bracelet he gave me when I was pregnant with Em. I threw them and myself on our bed, where I had already put the liquor. I quickly arranged myself so that I was sitting in the middle of the bed with his pillow and mine behind me. I took the first bottle that turned out to be scotch, I wrinkled my nose a bit at the smell…I never really liked scotch after all. But this was not a time to be picky, no this was just a time to get blind drunk. I chugged down the whole thing and made a face at the taste, but that numbing feeling that came afterwards…well the awful taste was worth it.
I took another bottle which was half filled with fire whiskey, a much more pleasant drink according to me; I smutted on it and then took the album from school and opened it.
There on the first page were a big picture of us, the whole gang; the girls, the marauders, Reggie, Frank…and most importantly…him. I smiled slightly and turned the page. The lump in my throat grew bigger when my eyes scanned a picture of him and me at the Potters.
We were young; we had just gotten together and blissfully happy. I could feel the tears in my eyes and I didn't even try to stop them. I went through the whole album sniffling and then I stared at the other one. This one I was more hesitant to open. But I drew a shaky breath, took a big clunk of vodka…the whiskey had been long gone and I was starting to feel comfortably numb, and opened the album. I choked back a sob as soon as I did. There on the first picture was I, in my beautiful wedding dress that Damien designed for me, smiling happily in the arms of him, looking handsome in his black tux that Damien had designed as well. He was smiling happily as well and then he suddenly dipped me and kissed me deeply. The fake snow fell around us and we just looked like any happy newlyweds really…I remembered our wedding. It was a winter wedding, a small thing really…we didn't want anything big. But that day was one of the happiest days of my life. Next came a lot of pictures from the wedding…I don't even remember who took them anymore.
Next came the pictures we took on our honeymoon, we had gone to the Caribbean and most of them were of us on the beach. I smiled at one picture where the two of us where standing in the waves and he was standing behind me, his hands on the minor baby bump that was barely noticeable, even when I was in a bikini. A tear splattered down on the page and I had to take a small break and conjured up some tissues. When I had composed myself slightly I turned the page and almost broke down again. There was a picture of me and Lily with our backs against each other, we were smiling and laughing both of us pregnant and holding our hands on our bumps. There was this glow around us and we just looked so happy like we had no worries whatsoever. The next picture made me cry even harder it was a picture of me, Emily as a new born baby, and him. Remus had taken it of us at saint Mungos….only hours after Em had been born. We were sitting on my bed and the sun shone through the window at us and enveloped us in this light. He was holding our baby and looking lovingly down at her and me that were sitting next to him with my arms around him and our first child. When I looked through the album I realized that in this...world made of pictures the damn war didn't exist. I closed the album and took another drink; my sight went to my left hand and rested on my wedding and engagement ring. I started sobbing again and thought of everything that had happened.
One memory vividly entered my mind, a memory that I hated with passion, a memory I wish I could forget. The night I lost my brother, sister, godson and husband…
An: OH YEAH! Anyone confused over who the hell this Chris person is. Well that would be my fault. I had originally planned for Char to end up with two children in the original story...It didn't fit as I wrote on but it fit into this...so here he is! Christopher Regulus Black. All shall be explained as we go on.