Permanent Oblivion

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis. If I did, do you think it would be cancelled?

A/N: I am not a doctor, nor am I a psychologist. Xxxx means change in viewpoint. Please enjoy! (and review )

Beta'd by XX-Samantha-XX and Iratus (bunches of hugs to you dears)

The rhythmic beep of the heart monitor stayed in time with the steady rise and fall of the young woman's chest as she lay unconscious in the infirmary's bed. Her face had numerous scratches and a large bruise on her right cheekbone, too low to be counted as a black eye, but still painful all the same. The nurses and doctors on shift were all in the background, but next to her bed stood a lone man. He had a watchful look in his eyes, one an older brother might have, but a look of guilt defined on his face. He had dark circles under his eyes, a sure sign of sleepless nights spent here or in bed awake, worrying.

"Ach, Colonel. You should be in bed." The chief medical doctor walked up behind the man, chiding him with his comforting Scottish lilt.

"I know, Doc." The man responded without taking his eyes off her.

"I can give you something that might help ya, son. You really need your rest." Firm determination to win this battle of wills filled the doctor's voice, making the colonel turn around.

"I can't sleep until she's going to be alright." The look of guilt had been replaced with a pleading look of a young boy looking towards a father for reassurance, even though the receiver of the plea was a few years younger.

"You know she's got the best care possible. You can't expect anything more."

"Alright." The weary defeat filled the poor lad's eyes and he turned to walk away, or so the good doctor thought. The stubborn soldier climbed onto an empty neighboring bed and let out a long breath. "Night Doc."

"Aye." The doctor turned and left, muttering under his breath, "Bloody stubborn, don't know why I get all these ulcers."

Before slipping away into well needed sleep, the colonel looked over one more time. Crossing his arms, he lay on his side, so as to face her, and then drifted off.


Pain. Intense, unbearable torment was her first and only thought she was capable of. Everything ached, throbbed, as if she had been... the word nor the picture would come to mind.

Darkness was the second thought. At least, what she considered darkness, what is darkness? Absence of light? From a distance something bright shown, leading the way out from the blackness, the depths. Trying to follow it, she felt movement along her eyes. Searing pain scorched them, or was it the nerve connecting to the brain?

Confusion was her final thought as her eyelids fluttered open, pupils slowly readjusting to restrict light, reducing pain. Refocused blue eyes peered up at the ceiling, then down along the walls, across the medical equipment and out to the other room. Where was she?

The decor was very obscure, different then... different from what? She twitched as her neck spasmed from staying in the same position too long. She looked down at herself, hardly recognizing the pale skin, the bruised extremities. One hand had a tube in it, taped in place. It didn't belong in her. She reached across with her right hand, it feeling odd and clumsy as she ripped the cord out from her. Pain and blood erupted at once along with electronic alarms. Another body sat up from the bed on her right, the hair on top wild, his eyes red. A sudden image of him holding a weapon, firing. Others falling, and death filled her head. He was bad.

She screamed, her vocal cords raw from lack of use, or was it too much use? She didn't know and didn't care. She had to flee. Scrambling backwards, she fell off the bed, her legs a crumpled heap beneath her, then the command to run finally reached them. Regaining balance, she stood, the adrenaline kicking in to give her the strength.

The man opposite of her held out his hands in a very placating gesture, and an image of him doing that same motion spun across her mind as another figure leapt out from her clouded memories. He opened his mouth and made gibberish come out. She backed away, tripping over a wire powering the monitors. Catching herself, she fled. He leapt forward to try to grab her, but she spun right and just out of his reach and out the open doors. Other men dressed in the dark colors came out of other rooms after her.

Her strides felt feeble, but with each pick up and put down of her feet, she felt the weakness ebb away and leave behind the vigor she once had. Knowing that it would only last a little bit longer, she had to put as much distance between them and her as possible. A long dark corridor seemed to be her only option now.

Her feet grew cold from running on the hard, unforgiving floors; sapping strength from her already limited source. Shivers raced up and down her spine, then down her legs and up to her scalp. They grew more violent the longer she ran until she collapsed. Fear crept over her as she struggled to stand, leaning against the wall for support when flashes of light lit the other end of the hallway. Standing up and turning to meet them head on, in a display of resilience and bravery that was only skin deep, if only to fool them into not taking her on. They caught sight of her, but didn't rush her way. She realized the bluff was up, a feral trepidation filled her, along with a despair when she saw there were weapons in their hands, not like the one from her memory, but ones that came with another kind of dread. Unable to place them made her all the more apprehensive.

They tried again to communicate but she couldn't understand the sounds. Frustration made her lash out in a frantic assault, only to have her arms caught by the first man she had set eyes on. His face impassive as he held her back, she struggled only to collapse into his arms as her last bit of willpower gave out and she faded back into the black she had just escaped from.


"What happened? I leave for 20 minutes and..." A man walked into the infirmary, hands carrying a tray of food, cutting off the colonel, his arms full with the girl. The doctor rushed up, stethoscope and portable scanner in hand, his furrowed brow displaying his severe concern.

"What was she doing before she passed out?" He asked as he helped set her down on the bed, making sure she was comfortable. Wiping the blood off her hand, he reached for the IV, then thought better of it, and put it away.

"It was as if she didn't know me, or understand anything I tried to tell her." Confusion filled the military commander's face.

"That doesn't make any sense. I mean, she obviously knows you. Why would she run?" The newcomer to the scene scrunched up his face in puzzlement.

"I fear that there are wounds deeper than the bruises we see." The doctor concluded with a nod of his head, worry filling his clear blue eyes.

"What, internal bleeding or..." The pudgy man interjected but stopped when his team leader's eyes narrowed.


"Aye, that's what I think. But the way she reacted to your presence, I think you'd better not be here until everything gets straightened out."

The man's face fell, crushed from that realization, opened his mouth to protest. He didn't utter a sound, snapped it shut, and then strode out of the room.

"You too." The doctor faced the other man, standing between him and the girl in an unconscious protective stance.

"But she didn't..." He fussed; running his fingers through his thinning hair, jittery from caffeine or worry, the doctor couldn't tell the difference. He stood his ground and the impatient scientist left, muttering to himself how he was never appreciated for showing interest when he tried.

Turning back to his young patient, he looked her over, feeling for any new injuries or problems. As he ran his hand down her calf muscle, the trembling in them made him look up at her face. Her eyes were open and wide with terror.

"You awaken, my dear?" he said as softly as he could, trying not to scare her. He straightened from leaning over her, stethoscope hitting against his chest. Her eyes missed no movement, jumping from his face to the instrument and back. Her mouth opened, and shut. Not a sound came out. She stayed frozen in place, stiff and jumpy.

"Doctor?" A nurse appeared in the doorway, and it all went to Hades. Leaping up from the bed, she backed away. "It's ok." He tried again. Her eyes contracted, bewilderment filling them faster than the fear could. The medical doctor knew psychology was not what he studied, but if he didn't know any better, it was worse than amnesia, but as if her mind had been completely wiped. She didn't seem to understand him.

He looked back at the nurse and mouthed to her the need for a sedative. Turning back, he was surprised to see the girl creeping forward toward him. She looked as if about to speak, but all that came out was a whimper.

"I am here to help." He said, hoping the tone of his voice would carry the message to her, past the language barrier of sorts. He kept his hands at his side, not knowing if they would spook her or not. A tired dread filled her stance, and the doctor realized it was the only way she could communicate, through body language and eye contact.

She stared at him hard, and he had to struggle not to look away from the intensity of it. Most people dislike being studied, and he was one of them. A tear slipped down her cheek and with it, her defenses. She crumpled before his eyes, and he reached forward and caught her before she hit the ground. In his arms, her vulnerability touched his heart and he felt tears well up in him. He melted to the floor with her, holding her tight against him, offering as much security as he could. She curled tight against him, shudders running from her shoulders down.

A soft set of steps came up from behind them sending the girl quivering and pressing into him even more. He tightened his arms around her, hoping it would make her feel secure and not entrapped. She stayed put. Looking up, he saw the nurse standing there with a syringe in hand.

"Now, lassie, I'm not going to hurt ya. I just need to calm ya down a wee bit." He cursed himself for having to stab her with the needle, but plunged it into her thigh. A yelp of pain escaped, and she jumped, but didn't pull away from him. Within seconds the fast acting depressant had her going limp, eyes rolling back in her head. As much as it pained the doctor to drug her like this, it was for her own benefit before she injured herself or anyone else in the process.

Lifting her up and onto the bed, he glanced down at the restraining straps that were mandated to be on every hospital bed. He didn't want to tie her up, but if she were to react the same way when she awakened, he didn't know how to keep her calm. Deciding against it, he taped the IV back into her hand, noting that he was going to add a milder sedative to her drip. After making sure everything was in order and she was sleeping peacefully, he headed out to solve how to fix the young woman's fractured psyche.


A chilled breeze wrapped around her at the foot of a stone newel staircase, a damp smell filled the air. Light danced its way down the steps but the source was hidden around the bend of the tower. Curiosity filled her and she started toward the source, ignoring the fear creeping up inside of her.

Each footfall melted into the darkness, the phantom light cascading shadows everywhere. As she progressed even further, she saw a torch, already burning, mounted against the wall. It wasn't the source of the illumination, but she took the torch with her to light the rest of the way.

Reaching the top, it opened up into a cavernous room, very dark and even the fire in her hand couldn't chase away the night. An open, full length window at the end of the room was where the moonbeams were playing into the tower, lighting it up and sending it down the spiral staircase behind her. It lit up a path over to it. The wind picked up and snuffed out the torch. She continued on driven by her inner curiosity to see out. Reaching the edge, she saw she was at the pinnacle of the highest tower looking out over the dimly lit land. A gentle gust of wind caught her hair, billowing out, making her feel free and unconfined. It was almost sweet to the taste.

A footstep behind her made her spin around. It was the man from before, the one with the spiky hair, his weapon in hand aimed at her.

Startled, she went to take a step back and bumped into something. Whirling again, she looked up at the most hideous face leering at her with yellow slitted eyes, and then it grinned and reached for her. Backing away, she heard the man behind her shift and shouted a command. She couldn't make out the words. Words! The evil creature rushed for her and she ducked under its outstretched hand and backed away as it pivoted to follow her,

She felt her foot hit the end of the ledge. There was nowhere to go. He lunged for her again, then arched as his back was hit by the weapon's projectiles. The ghastly monster fell against her and knocked her out the window. Falling, she knew this was the end.


Thank you for reading. More will be posted tomorrow :)