36~WHY KAKASHI IS GAY~
~Summery~
~CRACK~ Naruto is convinced Kakashi is gay And he tells Sakura why. Drabble? Crack? Romance? I really don't know.
~Ratings~
T for mature themes
~Warnings~
Possible OOC-Ness.
Yaoi and sexual themes and cussing.
~Disclaimer~
Even if Naruto wasn't owned by Masashi Kishimoto which he does. I still wouldn't own it or its characters.
"I'm telling you Kaka-sensei is GAY!" Naruto shouted as he and the pink haired konoichi walked towards the academy grounds. They had promised to help Shikamaru and Iruka-sensei train the pregenin.
"Naruto hush! You shouldn't go around yelling things stuff like that, BAKA!" She huffed and gave Naruto a good chakra infused punch to the gut.
Naruto winced, "Ahh… Sakura-chan… that hurt…" Naruto pouted. "I'm telling you he is!" Naruto ducked the next blow.
"You shouldn't talk like that in public! Think of Sensei's reputation!" Sakura seethed. "I'm sure he's not anyway."
"Him being gay isn't bad so why should his reputation matter?" Naruto challenged.
"Cause he's not gay and might be upset if people thought he was. I mean if he were it would still be wrong cause you'd be shouting out his secret. But he's straight so stop messing up his reputation dumbass!" The violent girl crossed her arms.
"Oh yeah, why are you so sure he's straight?" Naruto huffed and crossed his arms, his whisker marks crinkling while he frowned.
"Easy!" Sakura smirked while inner Sakura yelled, "I'LL PROVE IT!" The Pink haired chunin smiled. "First of all, he reads heterosexual porn. Second, he always has girls hanging off him! Third, Kaka-sensei has never showed an interest in men. Fourth, if he was gay I think someone in a town of ninja would have noticed it and leaked it. Ninja's are gossip whores."
"You realize we're gossiping right?" Naruto questioned his cerulean orbs confused.
"Finding out information is one of a ninja's many jobs… so… were just being good ninja, right?" Sakura asked slyly.
"You've spent way to much time with Kaka-sensei… he's still gay though." Naruto folded his arms behind his head as he walked.
Sakura began to fume, "He is not."
"You really want him to be straight huh?" Naruto smirked, "Does Sakura-chan have a crush on her sensei?" Naruto couldn't duck the punch that sent him tumbling into a tree.
Sakura's eyes sparkled like stars as she watched him hit with glee. "Ow… Stupid super strength…" Naruto grumbled as he brushed himself off and tried to blink back the forming black eye.
"Well Naruto you really want him to be gay ne?" Sakura asked with a smirk. "Do you have a crush on Kaka-sensei?"
"HELL NO! Now if he were Sasuke…" tomorrow both of Naruto's eyes would be black. "Ow… mini baa-chan." Naruto dusted himself off again.
Sakura sighed, "Leave Sasuke out of this. The fifth reason he's not gay is because he is a pervert! Sixth, he reads trashy porn in public!"
"He's gay…" Naruto sighed.
"Oh then please do tell." Sakura rolled her eyes as they neared the academy.
Naruto put his hand on his bewhiskered chin to think. "First, who ever said there's no such thing as a gay pervert? Second, Kaka-Sensei is an experienced ninja and can probably keep a secret better than anyone in Konoha so it wouldn't be strange that noo one knew his preference. Third, I know Jiriaya has written some Yaoi and Kakashi has confessed to owning EVERY copy of Icha Icha. Fourth, Kakashi never really showed an interest in girls either! Remember that time that girl we were escorting was litteraly hanging off him, he just kept reading his book and didn't even look twice her. Then he also has a lot of guys hanging off him all the time! And Lastly"...
" he reads straight porn in public and his body has never once…BETRAYED him in public." Naruto finished with a smirk. "If he's straight then why doesn't straight porn turn him on?"
Sakura gulped, "I never thought of that…" She shook her head, "I still don't know Naruto. He's masculine though…"
"He's a seme obviously." A deeper voice chimed in.
The two teens whipped around, "AHH Iruka sensei!" Before the gossipers could let what the tanned teacher said he was already in angry lecture mode a firm scowl securely in place.
"I'm ashamed of you two, Gossiping like that! Did you stop to think how Kakashi-sensei would feel if he knew you were gossiping about his sex life in public?"
A brief visions of Kakashi's eye flaming in anger while his chidori charged, raced through two frightened minds.
"You shouldn't talk like that in public, and who gave you the RIGHT to speculate on someone else's love life? Besides, does it matter if he's gay or straight? Would it make a difference in WHO he IS? Do you two know what the word privacy is any way? Why were you talking about some one else's private life in the middle of the street? Would you like someone to speak about your love life where any one could hear? It's a private matter that you two didn't have the right to…GRR…" He growled. "YOU TWO ARE IN BIG TROUBLE!" When the two former students saw Iruka-sensei's hand's go to his hips they knew he was serious.
'We're dead…'
"GO TO THE TRAINING GROUNDS AND RUN WITH THE KIDS! NOW!" Irkua seethed.
"HAI SENSEI!" The two were blurs as they ran off.
"AND DON'T THINK YOU'RE GETTING OFF EASY!" Iruka tried to relax his straining shoulder muscles.
"Little idiots…" Iruka sighed, but smirked when he felt arms wrap around him from behind.
"Seriously" a deep voice murmured into the chunin's ear.
"Did it ever occur to them that you're Bi?" Iruka laughed as he was spun around to see his lover and his mask-less face.
"Like you said, love, 'little idiots'." Kakashi leaned down to capture the chunin's lips.
"Though Naruto made some good points, how does your body not betray you in public?"
The Copy nin smirked, "Good self control and the knowledge that I get to come home to someone way better than an Icha Icha novel." He again kissed the tan chunin taking time to slide his tongue into the younger mouth.
Iruka smiled, "very good answer."
Before another word could be said, Kakashi wrapped his arms around the dolphin and was kissing him against a tree.
"I think that proves my point…" Naruto smirked as Sakura cradled her nosebleed.
~Author's Notes~
This idea came into my head all because I thought about how Kakashi could read porn in public without his body…Erm… Reacting… yeah… that's a good term. So from there I let the silly-ness flow!
Suffice it to say this was really fun to write and I love the ending. Originally Naruto and Sakura were going to stumble upon the two senseis making out and so Naruto could say, 'I think that proves my point…' then I thought of the two duping the kids so I combined them. At first I thought it was a little much but I really like it now!
This was really just for fun but I really appreciate reviews! I even like constructive criticism. So please review, and let me know how my foray into 'crack and silly-ness with a dash of Yaoi', went.
And always, Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed,
~Lenea~