28A/N: This chapter is a lot of fluff, and a lot of filler, and not as much angst. Hints at Fai's past, though. I dare anyone who wants to try to guess the general gist of Fai's past. Thanks so much for reading, but more reviews would be nice. I need a lot to build on!
Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, CLAMP does, and they did a hella good job with it!
Fai's eyes widened as he realized that he hadn't said the words...Kurogane had. The man's expression was serious as he stared down his magician. He hadn't made it up from no where. Somehow, Kurogane knew his name. Knew his real name.
"H-How...?" Fai sputtered.
"Do you remember anything from your childhood? At all?" Kurogane asked. Fai could even say he almost heard hope clinging on to the depths of his tone.
"Please don't ask me about this," Fai said, eyes closed.
Before, the blue moonlight reflecting on the magician's near flawless face had been nothing short of beautiful, it now refracted all the pain and worry he contained behind his carefully constructed mask. He took a deep breath, before opening his eyes again to meet Kurogane's own crimson orbs in a far away gaze.
"If it troubles you, telling someone may be best," Kurogane grunted, attempting to give the man some sort of advice. He didn't truly understand the situation at hand. Something had obviously truly troubled the man at one point. It was unhealthy to keep something like that inside.
"I could say the same for you," he breathed. "I don't know a single thing about you except that your parents died and you like controlling me."
"At least you know that much. I know your name and that you know the real Fai," Kurogane mused.
Fai turned and let his eyes lock to the officer's. He smiled a smile that seemed broken, but whole at the same time. t wasn't completely happy, and definitely not content. There was more sorrow in it than happiness, but it seemed true. It was unlike other smiles the man had shown. It was sincere, and reflected the true Fai within him.
"I suppose we're the same, then? Someone who doesn't want to look back, but has to before they can walk forward?" Fai chuckled halfheartedly.
"I guess."
"I'll drink to that," the magician chimed. He lifted his untouched drink, encouraging his partner to do the same.
Kurogane lifted his drink as their glasses clanked together. Kurogane lifted the rim of the glass to his lips, drinking another few swallows, before stealing a glance at is partner. He could tell why the magician was hesitating, but he was definitely doing so. The blond was either looking at his reflection in the dark, depths of the liquid, or hesitating to drink it from memories of their last experience with such things.
With a smile to his partner, he lifted the glass and let the cool liquid slide down his throat as well, deciding that, even if he didn't tell Kurogane his secrets, he could at least trust the man to keep him safe for the time being. That was more than the magician had had before. He had never possessed safety of any variety, and it was almost terrifying, knowing that he was putting his wellfare in the hands of another human being. Leaning on another life instead of his own.
"You aren't going to drink the whole thing in one swallow this time, are you?" Kurogane asked.
Fai closed his eyes again, leaning back to let himself be supported by the roof they sat on. He listened to the low rumble of Kurogane's voice, as if it were a steady rhythm, like a far off drummer, playing just for him. Like his heartbeat, not loud, not brazen, but there; always there.
"Are you listening?"
"Kuro-rin, can you just...keep talking?" Fai asked in a whisper.
"Why? Are you falling asleep?" the officer questioned near impatiently.
Fai didn't respond, letting the enveloping coollness of the air cover him like a soothing blanket while he simply listened to Kurogane's voice all around him, in his ear like the ocean from a seashell. Or at least, how he imagined that would sound. He had never seen the ocean.
"Bastard." Kurogane muttered.
Syaoran looked at his magician partner in horror, as she hiccuped and rendered herself unable to walk in a straight line. He could've sworn that Sakura had only ordered a non-alcoholic drink. They were, after all, under the legal age to drink. She wasn't acting as herself, either, falling everywhere and giving off half-lidded smiles that borderlined lustfulness.
"Syao," she hiccuped with another smile. "Carry me home?"
"Ah, do you need to lean on me?" he asked her in concern.
He would lend a shoulder to her any day. He did love her, no matter how long it had taken to figure that out. He still wasn't sure if he was comfortable staying in a home where two men obviously slept together. Kurogane seemed like a father figure though, he wasn't overly passionate or affectionate in public, or even in front of anyone. Fai was the one with problems containing himself. It would take some getting used to.
"No, silly. Pick me up and carry me home? I dun wanna walk," she said in a sickeningly sweet voice.
"Sure," the boy smiled.
He walked over cautiously, as Sakura giggled, and, never taking his eyes off of her's, swept her up into his arms, carrying her from the outside area for minors. She continued giggling and smiling lustfully. She wasn't content with how Syaoran was holding her, it wasn't close enough.
"Syao," she breathed.
He looked at her momentarily before she reached up, grasping his face and pulling his lips to her own. He broke the kiss almost immediately, but Sakura reached up and caught his lips yet again. For all his efforts, this time, he simply couldn't manage to pull away. They stood, immobile in that moment, as the moon shone down between each other's eyelids. Her lips parted slightly, but Syaoran didn't know how, nor did he want to, take advantage of the situation. She was drunk, and this was already too far.
"L-Let's find Kurogane and F-Fai," Syaoran stumbled over his words as they tried to escape his lips, which were unbearably close to Sakura's.
"Let's go home, idiot," Kurogane mumbled, looking at his completely relaxed magician counterpart.
Fai seemed serene and peaceful, his face untroubled by horrific pasts and troublesome situations. Calm looked good on him, Kurogane thought.
What the hell is wrong with my brain lately? Why am I always thinking about how he looks?
"I suppose it's getting late. Those children shouldn't be up so late," Fai breathed. "But I just want to stay here."
"Are you drunk off your ass? You're on a rooftop in the freezing cold. Why would you want to stay here?" Kurogane grunted.
Fai smiled, before pushing himself up and looking around in a daze. He looked as if he momentarily forgot where he was and who he was with. He went to stand, before stumbling and nearly tumbling from the slanted roof. Kurogane caught his forearm, tugging him upward into the officer's chest.
"Maybe I've had a bit to much to-" Fai began before being thrusted upward and onto kurogane piggyback style.
"Yeah, you're drunk off your ass. Guess who called it," Kurogane mused darkly.
"Kuro-tan is so strong!" Fai giggled.
Kurogane eased them down the step ladder back into the bar, all eyes on the man and his passenger. Fai waved at the customer's as the two departed, while Kurogane turned his head and glared forward at the door. If he was going to get a reputation for being like Toya and Yukito, he might as well enjoy it, he thought.
"Kurogane, Fa-" the brown haired boy started, running into the bar. He looked at the set up of the two men, before smiling nervously and glancing at his own handfull. Sakura was now sound asleep, her hand still idly twirling Syaoran's hair in her pettite fingertips.
"Can't she walk on her own?" Kurogane asked.
"Somehow, she ended up with an alcoholic drink instead of the one she ordered. She can't even walk in a straight line," Syaoran breathed, his tone full of panic.
"Well, that's wonderful. Let's get home and get her to bed."
"f you don't mind my asking, can't he walk home?" Syaoran asked with a half-smile, pointing to Fai atop Kurogane's back.
"His alcohol tolerence is pathetic and he's too much of a lazy ass to even attempt to try to walk. If I could leave him behind, I would," the officer sighed harshly.
"Kuro-pon makes me so sad!" Fai exclaimed. "He doesn't sound like he loves me!"
Kurogane rolled his eyes. "You're even more annoying when you're drunk than when you're sober," he scoffed.
"Do you think we can find a cab at this hour?" Syaoran asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure we can. Then we won't have to walk," Kurogane stated.
All four reached the night air once again. They stood, waiting the sound of a cab. Finally, a cab pulled over for them, and swung it's door open...to reveal two seats.
Syaoran smiled. "You two can take the cab, I'll carry Sakura the rest of the way home," he volunteered.
"No you won't. This isn't a great part of town, and walking around with an unconscious girl is probably the worst mistake you could make, especially since you aren't exactly intimidating," Kurogane explained, shoving Syaoran and Sakura into the cab and paying for their ride quickly.
As Kurogane continued forward, silence settled between the two men. it wasn't uncomfortable, but contented. They had discussed and come to understand enough of each other for that night, and a satisfied silence rested between them, as if knowing that they would learn more later was enough to make the little they knew now tolerable.
"I don't remember much," Fai began with a deep breath. "From my childhood. I've made one huge choice in my life, and it made a lot of difference in how my life has played out, but before that decision, I don't remember a lot."
"If you don't want to tell me anything, you don't have to," Kurogane grumbled.
"My brother, Fai, and I were close. I remember that. I remember that we didn't talk to many people outside of each other. But when he died, I think I died, too. Not in the literal sense, but in the spiritual sense. Only recenly have I lived again. Syaoran, Sakura, Yuuko...You. You all make me feel like I'm living, not because of some unattainable goal, but because life is worth it," Fai half spoke, half hummed.
Does he start blurting out secrets every time he drinks, or is it just coincidence?
Kurogane smirked, realizing that this time, he didn't have to do anything for the blond to tell him all of that. It was all his own choice.
"I've...been seeing a few things, too," Kurogane said, attempting to sound as cool as stone about his previous lie. "Like a parallel life. You're always there, sometimes the kids are too. I don't know, I just thought I'd let you know," he muttered.
Fai leaned down the officer's spine, his chin resting into the larger man's shoulder, his lips at Kurogane's ear.
"Thank you, Kuro-tan."
By the time the two reached their home, Syaoran and Sakura had already fallen asleep long ago, and Kurogane entered his and Fai's room, throwing the blond onto his bed before climbing into his own.
"Kuro-pii, I feel guilty now," Fai teased.
"Why this time?"
"Because I lied."
"About?"
"Drinking," Fai chuckled from his own bed.
"What do you mean, I saw you drink your drink, and I saw the empty glass when we left."
"When Miss Oruha delivered our drinks, I swapped Sakura's with mine. She needed to loosen up a bit, Syaoran needed a little help telling Sakura how he felt, and i didn't want to forget whatever we talked about, so I decided alcohol would be a bad choice."
Kurogane could literally hear the smile in the magician's voice.
"So you walking around like you were completely wiped out?"
"I didn't want to walk, I was tired, Kuro-rin. Not to mention, I wanted to show off my good acting skills!" Fai chuckled.
"Yeah, you're real funny. So all those things you told me on our way back were true?"
"Completely. It's not fair for only me to know. It's not fair for me to be lying and avoiding all of this, when you've given me a second chance at life, and share everything of yours with me. I suppose I'm beginning to learn quite a bit from you..." Fai mumbled dreamily, before obviously trailing off into sleep.
Horror racked his body as he looked at the mess before him. The boy held the blond in his hand, blood everywhere. It was dangerous, pits and eroding pillars everywhere, but he felt his legs bolt forward before his mind was able to tell him to stop.
Kurogane saw the origin of all the blood. He didn't understand where he was, or what the situation may have been, but he shoved the blood splattered boy away, grabbing the blond into his arms, and clutching him tight.
A protective sense washed over him, and he held Fai even closer, blood soaking into his white shirt. No way in hell was the dangerous kid getting his hands back on the mage. He would die before he handed him over. Suddenly, a fit of rage enveloped him, as the reality of the situation bore into his weary mind.
His eye was completely gone, and the bastard wanted the other one as well. He pulled the man until he was facing away from his assailant.
Words flowed from his mouth, but he couldn't hear them. He couldn't understand what he was saying, but rage was boiling, heating, bursting inside him. He shouted something, which had no effect on the boy.
Something had told him, though. Something had tipped him off that the feeling was more than protection. Some sort of bond, whether eternal or not, was keeping them together. He wouldn't ever let another hand touch the mage but his own. He swore it.
I'm so sorry this is so short. I wanted to post it tonight, but i was falling asleep!