*tactfully decides not to comment on how long its been since the last update*


21. Edward never wears normal clothes! Its always suits and shirts with him! Just once, I'd KILL to see him in a t-shirt with a funny slogan like: "If I'm not wasted, the day is!"

22. Bella promised she wouldn't do anything reckless. *narrows eyes* Bella lied.

23. Jessica was about to end up in an FBI interview room like some lame TV show. *cough* S.V.U shout out *cough*

24. Bella sometimes feels like she's forty...BUT NEVER FEAR, BELLS!Because with Neutrogena's new anti-aging lotion, your skin will look ten years younger! And if you call now, we'll throw in... etc etc

25. Bella hits her head on a large, round, mossy rock and...gets a line shaped cut on her forehead... Yeah I think we all can safely say that logic is not this directors strong point.

26. Bella: "What happened with Jasper was...." She got a paper cut, Jasper tried to kill her and Edward pushed her into a table of glass. "...nothing."

27. Harry Clearwater: "Don't worry about bears, Bella. My kung fu is strong." Maybe so, but his fragile lil' old heart obviously wasn't...R.I.P Harry.

28. Jacob: "Que Quowle.." All English speaking movie goers: We've said it once and we'll say it again, WE DEMAND SUBTITLES IN THE JACOB SCENES! Jacob's entire fanclub (population - 3): *swoon* So romantic...

29. Bella: "I'm nothing! I'm human...nothing!" 6.5 Billion other humans on earth: Bitch! Lets kill her!

30. Bella: If this is about my soul, take it! I don't want it! Bella's Soul: *sobs loudly* I'M AN ORPHAN! Me: Would someone PLEASE call the RSPCS? (Royal Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Souls)

Review, or Bella will neglect YOUR soul too. Would you really want to put your dear little soul through that? Really?