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Stealing From Thieves

Such Parting Breaks the Heart They Fondly Hope to Heal

The stone was cold and heavier than I would have expected. Directly through the center was the crack I was already familiar with, splitting the symbol on it that I had never really given much thought to. The wand lay on the table, absolutely menacing even in the absence of a wielder. For it was because of that wand's existence Voldemort sent Nagini on me in the first place. I turned my back on the wand and leaned my forehead against the mantelpiece as I considered the implications of the stone. Of course Harry was right; there were scores of dead people I would love to have one last conversation with. Would I use it though? A part of me feared that if I used it Death himself would appear. I could imagine the conversation going something like this:

Death: See, I knew you couldn't stay away.

Me: No, wait! That's not what I meant about using the stone!

Death: If you want to talk to dead people so badly then come with me. I don't know why I let you live in the first place.

Me: AAAAHHHH! I am so misunderstood!

No, not really. Of course there would be no such juvenile conversation, but the truth was that I was more terrified of dying now that I had so many reasons to live. I spent a few more moments despairing over the stone and who I would summon and what I would say. Harry assumed it would be Lily. Probably anyone would. Were they right? Was it still Lily that plagued me after all these years? If I wanted to see Lily one last time would that be a betrayal to Hermione? Yes. Every fiber of my being insisted that Hermione deserved all of me, and if I still wanted to see Lily one more time I was giving her only the bits of me that Lily still was not a part of. Dumbledore had as good as told me that Lily admitted to him that we would never have had a chance to be more than friends even if I did leave the Death Eaters. Did I really need to hear it from her? Was there any other person gone from my life I would like to see one more time besides her? I wondered what would happen if I blocked out thoughts of everyone, but just turned the stone. Would it be sort of like a Mirror of Erised and show me who I truly desired to see and not who I thought I wanted?

And then there was Death again. Would Death be angry that I would so carelessly summon a simulacrum? Any normal person would not fear Death in my situation, but I had been too close once before and I could not help but wish that Harry had left the Invisibility Cloak as well. Hoping Death had a sense of humor I turned the stone one time. Then a second time, and as I moved to turn the stone a third time Hermione rushed through the fireplace knocking me back and the stone out of my hand.

"Severus is Har-," Hermione began, but stopped talking and backed away from the fireplace when she saw the smoky figure beginning to emerge out of the stone and take shape before us. "Severus, what is that?"

Hermione picked up the stone before I could and examined it carefully.

Hermione gasped. "I had never actually seen this because it was in the snitch the whole time we were hunting Horcruxes last year. This is clearly the mark of the Deathly Hallows. Severus, where did you find this?"

"Harry," I said a little angrily. I was not sure if I was angry because she interrupted me and stopped the stone from working, or what, but I felt my temper rise a degree. "Harry gave it to me along with the Elder Wand."

"Harry said he lost this in the forest." Hermione held the stone up accusingly as if I was the one who had retrieved it and with nefarious intentions at that. "And furthermore, why would you want the very wand that almost got you killed in the first place? That belongs with Dumbledore's portrait, or better yet, destroyed."

"Destroyed?" I cried. "You cannot destroy a relic just like that!" I snapped my fingers.

Hermione set her jaw. "It's wrong to bring the Hallows back together again, and dangerous."

"Go have this conversation with Harry, Hermione. He is the one who could not resist reuniting them." I picked up the Elder Wand as I saw Hermione reach for it. I was not going to let her have it if destroying it was on her mind. She was right, they were dangerous and if word got out they were intact and could easily brought together many treacherous minds would do harm no less evil than Voldemort's to master them. I was not one of those minds and neither was Harry, and Hermione's sanctimonious attitude only made feel like she thought I was one.

"I can't find Harry. That is why I am here because Minerva wants to see him. I thought he might still be here," Hermione said and then she looked at the stone still in her hand really carefully. Her eyebrows narrowed in suspicion and her eyes darkened slightly with anger, or if I didn't know better, jealousy.

"You were about to use this weren't you," she said quietly and carefully, enunciating every sharp consonant, a sure signal that her temper was barely in check.

I swallowed thickly and met her eyes. I let the truth show even if I would not say it out loud.

"Why?" she demanded. "It is supposed to be really difficult for the dead to come back to this world, and even then they won't really be here for you. Who do you need to see so badly you would do that to yourself and to them?" Hermione stared at me incredulously and then her expression switched back to hurt and frustration. "I know, how silly of me. It's all Harry can talk about, you and his mother. You would want to see Lily again."

"That's not necessarily true," I told her reaching for the stone, but she clenched her fist around it and pulled it out of my reach. "Hermione, hand it over."

I could see that I was right about the jealousy earlier. There was more than a hint of it on her face now. It made me feel strangely exhilarated to see that she could get jealous too. It still didn't erase my anger at being interrupted at such a moment, and then having the stone taken from me. We stared each other down, me with the wand in my left hand and the other stretched out towards her. She glared back with both of her fists clenched, the stone in one of them.

"No. I mean why should I let you? Why can't you let her go?"

"Did I say I was going to summon Lily back?" I snapped back at her. "What would it matter anyway? You kindly pointed out already that she is dead and doesn't belong here anyway. Not that her being alive would make her belong here either."

Hermione looked slightly more chastised, but she held her ground. Clearly this was a fight she had wanted to have for some time. We had already discussed this several times and it seemed my like my words did nothing to appease her, only my actions. As long as I acted as if Lily did not matter anymore she was all right. This one action, of using the stone, was far too much for her. I could have the memory of loving Lily so long as I did not want to see her again. I did not necessarily disagree with Hermione; after all there were those little bits of me that I would be holding back if I did want to see Lily again.

"You didn't say," Hermione admitted testily. "I only assumed, and spare me the lecture on assuming. You can hardly blame me if I get upset about her sometimes. I can't possibly compete against someone who lives in your fantasies. It's not the same for me as it would be for you if I still loved Ron, or had ever really loved him in that way, because at least you can see what you are up against."

"Spare me, Hermione. I don't know how many times I am going to have to tell you that it is you that I want. Didn't I say I wanted to marry you and have a family with you, and do all the things people do in their miserable little lives with you by my side?" I grabbed for hand and wrenched the stone free and held it up for her to see. "This doesn't change any of that!"

"Who then?"

I shook my head. "I can't tell you."

Hermione rolled her eyes and grabbed a handful of floo powder from the pot on the mantelpiece. "Fine then. Keep your secrets."

I wanted her to leave because then I could use the stone in peace, but I did not want to let her go back to the castle in a snit when I knew it would be days before I could see her again. The fight would either fester or fade, and I had a feeling this one would fester if I let her go without giving something up.

"I can't tell you because I don't know. I was trying to let the stone decide."

That stopped her. She looked at me curiously. "What do you mean exactly?"

"I was wondering if the stone worked in a similar way to the Mirror of Erised."

I could not read her expression, there seemed to be too many thoughts passing through her mind at once.

"Don't you wonder about who you could recall?" I asked her.

"No, not at all," she said with confidence. "It is the cloak I prefer."

"Naturally, you are sensible to the last," I said with more than a little spite. "Was there ever a time you allowed you heart to rule over your head?"

"Yes and the evidence of it is standing right in front of me! Besides you are one too talk!"

"Are we finished here yet?" I asked coldly.

Hermione recoiled as if I had struck her.

"Finished?"

"With this argument, Hermione." I sat down in exasperation and pinched the bridge of my nose where my tension headaches develop. "You are attacking me because you are afraid the stone will bring back Lily that much is clear. Why you do not trust me remains a little murky. Have I perhaps done something to earn your mistrust?"

Hermione remained still and silent for so long I truly believed she was searching her memory for any point in history that might prove her lack of trust was justified. The clock on the wall ticked loudly in the strange silence. The setting sun streamed through my western window and I stared at the dust motes floating in the air. I placed the Elder Wand back on the coffee table in front of me. After what felt like an eternity Hermione finally spoke.

"No." She stepped out of the fireplace and let the floo powder fall from her hand back into the pot without looking at me. After dusting her hands clean she came and sat next to me on the couch. "I don't like admitting how insecure your old love for Lily makes me feel."

"I am sure my insecurities far outstrip yours," I told her even though I was not yet ready to forgive her for the argument.

"Can I stay while you use the stone?" she asked. She was staring straight ahead of her as if looking at me at that moment was too difficult.

"Hermione, I am not sure that is wise." I unclenched my fingers around the stone and examined it carefully. It was such a small thing, yet capable of doing so much hurt. It was like a word, insignificant on the surface, but used at the right time and in the right circumstances, a single word could destroy the foundations of a person's life. One day I said the word Mudblood to somebody and it ended something that I thought was very special and unbreakable. If I told Hermione 'no' or to 'leave' I feared I would do the same thing all over again. Our relationship was strong, but what if we weren't the iceberg? What if it was the Titanic? It felt like a test of my devotion to her. I know now that in committed relationships everyday tests you one way or another, but that one was especially difficult.

"Are you afraid of what you will see?" she asked.

"Terrified." I held the stone out to her. "Take it. You were right; I should not be playing with toys that belong to Death."

"No. I think you should do it now. Whatever sick reasons we both have for our curiosity you should do it." She finally turned to look at me and her eyes were hard and cold. The only other times I had seen her look so fierce was when she was frightened and fighting. It was as if she had blocked the warmer part of herself so that it might not be affected by whatever horror was in store for her. It was an admirable trait.

I stood up and walked around the coffee table so that I would have more room and some distance from Hermione. "If I do this, and the stone decides, you cannot hold me accountable for the choices it makes."

"Harry said when he used the stone he was thinking about all the people that loved him that were dead. Sirius and Remus came as well his parents. If you ask the stone to show you your true heart's desire, it probably will." Hermione's voice was more teacher-like, but there was still that hint of coldness within it. "Severus, whatever happens I love you, I just have to know. I have done worse things in my life to satisfy a need to know things about you. At least I am being forward about it this time."

She had stolen the memories I gave to Potter when Nagini attacked me. It still put me off that she thought I did not share with her. "I tell you how I feel about you."

"Yes, but you hold back when it comes to your feelings about everything else. I try to read your emotions in your face which sometimes looks like it is carved from stone, and I want to know more about you than what I have already inadvertently learned. I see you get angry, and happy, and sad, but you don't talk to me you just act."

"I answer all your questions, don't I?" I was nonplussed.

Hermione sighed. "Yes, but I don't think I am asking the right questions."

"I did not know there were wrong questions. I thought that I had gone to great lengths to show you that I am not the man you knew before the war, that I am a kinder, gentler person than that," I said.

"How did you get that way?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know, Hermione. Maybe there are no good questions." I held the stone up. "You really want to stay?"

"Yes," she admitted firmly.

"Fine." I looked her directly in the eyes. "Then know that you are staying against my wishes. I will not explain anything you see or hear if I don't want to because this was meant to be private."

Once again I closed my eyes and willed the stone to bring back whomever I desired to see the most. I had to force myself not to ask the stone to keep Lily away if it would spare Hermione's feelings, but she'd asked for it. If she wanted openness and honesty then she would have it. I turned the stone over in my hand three times before I could lose my resolve. After the third turn the stone grew so cold I could not hold it anymore. I let it drop to the floor and as soon as I did a figure more substantial than a ghost, but still not quite whole in body rose up from the floor.

My hands shook as the figure grew and Lily Potter stood before me. I could feel tears welling up in my throat. All those years of loving her and missing her came flooding back in a deluge of emotions that I could not hide and would surely send Hermione away from me forever if I could not master them, and I didn't. I let the emotions come and then they passed almost as quickly. It could not have been more than half a minute since Lily appeared and the worst of the pain had already left. There was something I wanted to say to her, but it had only occurred to me after seeing her again.

Hermione was struggling with her own emotions. Tears were falling from her eyes, but her face remained a stony mask of cold indifference. She stood from the couch and returned to the pot of floo powder on the mantelpiece.

"Hermione wait!" Lily cried. Her green eyes were pleading. "I know this is hard for you, but I did not come for Severus. I came for you."

Lily's comment hurt, but not in the way it may have a year or two previously. That was progress.

Hermione wiped her eyes before turning around to face Lily. "Me?"

"Of course," she said stepping towards Hermione and stretching out a hand that would never make contact. "You take care of my son."

Hermione allowed herself to take a small step towards Lily. "I love Harry."

Lily smiled in that warm smile that always made my heart melt. Her eyes were so much like Harry's. "I know you do and he loves you as well. He has you on a pedestal. Most boys hold every woman that comes into their lives up against their mothers for comparison, but Harry's standard is you."

Hermione gulped audibly holding back her tears. "You are Severus's."

Lily finally turned and looked at me. I had no voice.

"Maybe once," Lily said looking deep inside of me. "Not anymore. I am so happy you finally found her, Severus. We all knew it was going to happen someday."

"Even if he had left the Death Eaters?" Hermione asked the question that she was afraid I would ask if given the opportunity. I found myself not wanting to hear the answer from Lily's lips.

I stepped to Hermione and put my arm around her. "No Hermione. Even if I became James's best friend instead, he still would have been the one to have Lily."

"Thank you, Severus. It breaks my heart that you held onto those memories of me for all those years. You did not need my memory, or whatever remained of your love for me to make the decisions you made. I know you would have realized sooner or later that Voldemort would do nothing but cause pain," Lily said.

"I did it for Harry, as well," I said tightening my grip on Hermione when I felt her try to pull away. "I have grown very fond of him."

"I know," Lily said. "I mustn't stay. There is another who was meant to come. I seized this opening only to see Hermione."

"Thank you," Hermione whispered.

"No, my dear girl, thank you," Lily said and disappeared leaving nothing but a cloud of dust in her wake. It was only a moment before another woman materialized before me. My eyes filled with uncontrollable tears and the emotions that filled me were so much more than the ones evoked my Lily. She was younger and healthier looking in death than I had ever seen her in life. Hermione gasped beside me in recognition.

"Mum!" I cried just like the little boy I was all those years ago when we only had snippets of time together. I remembered her before I was old enough to resent her for not using magic or for not leaving my father.

She lifted a finger and pointed it at me in warning like she would do when I was in trouble. "You should not be calling into the realm of Death, son. Your time is not to come for many years."

I felt properly chastised. "I didn't know what would happen."

"This is her?" Eileen ignored my comment and stared down her hooked nose at Hermione. Our physical resemblances were so similar. My mother was not a handsome woman, but I had her face nonetheless.

Hermione was trying to back into the fireplace, shame showing on all of her features. I reached out and pulled her forward.

"This Hermione Granger, Mother," I pushed her a little forward even as she resisted. "I plan on spending my life with her."

My mother peered at Hermione some more. "Good, good. I wish I could take credit for how you turned out, Severus."

"Don't do this," I said. "I have learned much from you." I learned what not to do anyway, but that did not need saying.

I was beginning to be sorry that I turned the stone in my hand. It was an overly powerful, borderline evil thing to exist in the world. I could see how Harry had difficulties resisting it, but he had, and in so doing had shown that he had moved on and was finding a way to forget the past, and the dead so that he could live. I needed to do the same.

"I'm happy," I said. "I'm sorry for what happened to you, but I do not intend to repeat any of your mistakes. I hope you can forgive me for saying so, but I will never neglect my children, or abuse them, and I am certain that I have found a partner that will never allow such a thing to happen either."

"You don't forgive me for what he did, what I did, do you?" she asked "You have to forgive me for your own sake."

"No, I think I have to forgive you for yours," I said. That was it. It was my mother I needed closure with. I had been so absorbed in getting Hermione to go to her mother because I knew that not doing so would plague her for the rest of her life. Everything finally made sense to me.

"If I could give your childhood back I would." My mother's body started to fade slightly. Our time was up.

"I don't need it back. I have moved on. I am finding my own way and it is working for me," I said. "Tell Death I said hello."

That garnered a smile out of my mother that was a rare as a flower blooming in the snow. It filled my heart and it would be the way I would choose to remember her from that moment forward. She lifted a hand in farewell and disappeared.

Hermione had shaken her way out of my grasp and had gone back to the floo powder.

"You were right, I was so wrong, I should not have encroached on your privacy like that."

I yanked her back out of the fireplace a little more forcefully than I wanted but she was already letting the floo powder sift out of her hand was about to speak.

"You were wrong." I knocked the rest of floo powder out of her hand and onto the floor. With a bruising grip I pulled her to the bedroom. She winced and I relaxed my fingers slightly, but not enough to allow her to pull free.

"Severus now is not the time for this," Hermione said trying to twist away, but her words achieved what her motion could not.

I rounded on her in a fury. "The time for what? Did you think I was dragging you in here for sex?"

The look on her face was answer enough, but it was the fear mingled with the shame that really set me off. "Anger sex? Is that what you think I want? Do you think that I am about to, do I dare say it, rape you?"

I could only imagine what my face looked like. I was on fire with rage that she could even let such a thing pass over her subconscious let alone become a full blown thought in the front of her mind. She rubbed her arm where a moment before I held it in a crushing grip.

"I am not my father," I hissed out barely audibly, but with as much venom as I could muster.

"I know, I'm sorry!" Hermione cried.

I pointed at the picture of Hermione and I that she had given me for Valentine's Day. "Do you see that picture?"

"Yes," she said. "I see it."

"There is only one picture like that of me in existence. One of picture of me so clearly smitten by the person that I am standing next to exists in the whole world and if there are any others it will be the same person standing there with me. Who is that person?" I jabbed my figure at small Hermione in the picture, with her face turned up towards me and the glow in her cheeks showing more than just the cold. I thrust the picture in her hands.

"M-me," Hermione stammered.

I turned around and stalked back to the living room. Hermione followed slowly behind her face flushed. This time I took the floo powder in hand myself. With my free hand I pushed Hermione into the fireplace. "I know you did not mean any harm. You just had something to prove to yourself, or to me, I don't know and I don't care, but I want you to leave me alone right now. Feel free to come back to me when you have finally figured out the significance of this," I tapped myself in the picture. "When you realize there is no one else for me, come back, but not a moment before."

"Severus, please!" Hermione pleaded.

"I am sick of proving to you that I love you, and that I have gotten over Lily, and that I am ready to be committed to you, Hermione. Why don't you try proving it to me for once?" I said and I dropped the floo powder and called for her quarters at Hogwarts. My last glimpse was of her crying freely and reaching her hand for me.

As soon as she was gone I Apparated to the top of my house and then took off flying into the cold night air without my broom, not caring that I learned the trick from Voldemort, only immensely grateful that I had the freedom to do it.

A/N: Happy Monday everyone! Your reviews are such a rush and I appreciate them all. I got some really could and interesting comments from everyone about the story! I have a break in between classes this week so I hope to get a couple more chapters done, but I have other stuff get done as well so get the reviews coming and motivate me!