**Damn…It's been awhile hasn't it? Two words, New Job. My explanation/apology letter has been posted to my profile page for any who are interested. Thanks again for the favorites and reviews! They are really the only reason I come back around once in a blue moon.

*Bleach belongs to Kubo and One More Chance to Saliva.

Ladies and Gentlemen 30

~Meet the Kurosaki's

I had just finished wiping down the bar when Grimmjow's ringtone began blaring from my bag on the floor…

"One more chance to write the book,

And one more chance to take the stage.

One more chance to set the hook,

And one more chance to turn the page.

One more chance to get it right,

And one more chance to right the wrongs…"

Flipping the bar towel over my shoulder, I checked the clock and wondered what he could want. Even with the new mystery man he's been seeing, our friendship is still shaky with everything that's happened over the past couple years. With half an hour before opening, I grab the phone and decide to indulge my curiosity, "Cookie! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Snowflake, good to know that even with a whole week and a half apart yah still manage to annoy the shit outta me."

"All a part of my charm."

"Yeah, still trying to figure out how I lost to your 'charm.'" He is of course referring to having lost Ichigo, but the bitterness that was once there when discussing my lover is all but disappeared from his voice. Good to know he's moving on quite nicely.

"Now Grimm, yah know a good magician never reveals his secrets."

"Whatever whitey."

His following silence has my curiosity peaking again, "So, why the sudden urge to speak? Did yah just miss hearing my voice that much?"

He snorted, "Not on yer life. Just thinkin' that it's been awhile since we all hung out, and this morning realized that I got no idea what's goin' on with you guys."

"Aww, you do miss us!" Too funny.

"Shut-up asshole. So, you guys wanna get together sometime or what?"

Even though he's so fun to pick on when riled, I decide just this once to take mercy, "Yeah, I'll talk to Ichi about when is good. Probably won't be for another couple weeks though. This is my last shift for the week and we are leaving for Kurakara when I get off today. Then we gotta get all his stuff moved before the last semester of his clerkship starts back-"

"Wait, what do you mean 'move his stuff'?" His tone was low and a bit more gravely that normal.

And this is the point where I smack myself for not thinking that sentence through. Neither Ichigo nor I have had a full conversation with Grimmjow since the Orangette in question came back from the states…Fuck.

"You are quite right Cookie, we really should get together more often to discuss the events in our lives…"

"Shirosaki…"

Well, he's probably already figured it out anyhow, so better not to prod the beast by withholding the confirmation, "Ichigo is moving in with me."

(Silence)…

"Grimmjow?"

… …

"Cooookie…You still there, or am I talkin' to myself?"

After the overly long pause, the gruff voice finally made it's was over the line once more, "I don't fuckin' believe it…No way." I expected yelling, cursing, and adamant disallowance, but instead I get deathly silence and disbelief.

"I think I'm offended. Why is it so hard tah believe that Ichi'dwanna move in with me?"

"You expect me to believe you got the second to the most noncommittal being in the world to move in with the first? Sorry I'm a bit skeptical."

"Hey, I committed to that being the second I laid eyes on 'im and I think you underestimate my powers of persuasion."

He snorted, "I'll believe it when I see it."

I felt a smile of success pull at my lips, "Well, we could use the help moving after getting back from the family trip…You'd be surprised how many boxes make up that tiny dorm."

"…He's packed?"

Well, mostly packed but what's the difference, "Yep."

"Alright." …Huh?

"Alright, you believe me?"

"No, alright I'll help him move his shit. Gotta make sure he really wants it and it's not just your 'powers of persuasion' pushing this."

I'll let that one go. "So, you wanna bring your mystery man too?" Yeah, I can't help it, the curiosity is killing me.

He laughed at that, "I'll keep yah posted."

I stayed silent for a minute, hoping he'd elaborate into a probable confirmation, but had no such luck. Damn.

"So, you're finally going to meet the family?" He let out a barking laugh, "Good luck."

Ichigo's warning about his dad being over eccentric and slightly insane flashed through my mind and Grimmjow's remark had me even more curious, "You make it sound like I'm gonna need it."

"If it's still the same Isshin I remember, you will."

"Mind elaborating?"

He laughed again, "Normally I'd just let yah suffer, but since yah were so helpful with my newest dance, I'll give yah a heads up."

"Thanks?" I'm still getting what I want.

"Don't mention it. When I was first introduced to the family, Ichi and I had just walked into the house to see this lunatic at the top of the stairs dressed as a ridiculous, giant, obscenely yellow, rubber duck, with tone deaf singing rattling the house…something about convincing the girls how fun baths are…

Flashback (Grimmjow's POV)

"Dad! What the hell are you doing?" Well that just confirmed the unthinkable. The giant rubber duck was indeed, Ichigo's dad.

"Ichigo, my son! We must teach my darling daughters the importance of cleanliness!"

I looked down at Ichigo, his eye twitching in annoyance, "They're freaking 12! They know when to bathe!"

As if just noticing me, the duck quiets, giving me a rather uncomfortable once over, "Ichigo, who's your friend?"

Ichigo blushes, "Like I'm gonna introduce you to him looking like that! Go change!"

The elder Kurosaki gets a glint in his eye, "So he's that kind of friend…Geronimo!"

End of Flashback

"Suddenly, the nut case jumps right at me from the top of the stairs and I have to jump back to avoid the collision. Then I'm getting chased around the living room by some retarded looking, squawking duck and I don't know whether to fight back or keep dodging. Finally on the third trip around the living room, Ichigo plants a solid kick to the yellow monstrosity and sends it flying over the back of the couch. The duck clad dad starts whining, Ichigo is seething, one of the girls is laughing her ass off and the other is bawling. It was like I stepped into another fucking dimension!"

By this point I'm laughing so hard that I'm squatting on the ground with tears in my eyes, Jesus what I would've paid to see that.

"Glad you find it so fucking humorous. You're next."

Now I'm just plain excited, "Yeah and I can't wait!"

"Dumbass."

= = Page break = =

Taking the Kurakara exit, I spare a look for my fidgeting lover who is currently re-listing all the dos and don'ts of interacting with his old man, "…I know there's more…Don't encourage him, don't acknowledge him when he starts whining or crying, don't-"

Moving one hand from the wheel, I grab one of his fidgety ones and pull it up to my lips. Keeping my eyes on the road, I place a gentle kiss on the back of the captive hand before cutting him off, "It'll be fine, Love. Don't stress yourself out over nothing."

He snorted, but took a deep breath anyway, "It isn't 'nothing.' You have no idea how…violently embarrassing he can be. And in the case of guys, 'violent' is to be taken literally."

"Well, I wouldn't say I have no idea…Grimmjow did tell me about his first time." I smirked and glanced sideways briefly to catch the bright blush I knew to be there and wasn't disappointed.

Ichigo took his hand back so it could join the other one in hiding his crimson face, "Oh dear God. I'm gonna kill him."

"Aw, don't be upset, I'm the one that asked. Besides, at least now you know I'm prepared for just about anything."

His hands dropped back to his lap and his head thumped back against the headrest, "True, but I still need to take certain precautions..."

Pulling the car into the driveway, Ichigo jumped out before I even parked, making a beeline for the modern two story house. Huh. I thought he was joking when he said that he'd need to check for traps and surprise attacks. Shrugging it off, I kill the engine and slide out of the car. Just as I push the driver seat forward to grab our bags from the back, I catch movement out of the corner of my eye.

Jumping to the side, I narrowly avoid a roundhouse to the head. My attacker advances again, large fist aiming for my face as my hand darts up, encircling his wrist. Letting my body drop low I thrust forward and spin under his arm in one swift movement, finding the pressure point in his trapped wrist as I drag the arm behind him and push the older male into the side of my car. Thanks to my faster than normal reflexes, the line of movements was executed perfectly and the dark haired man was now immobilized between the force of my weight, the unmovable vehicle, and my fingers digging into two of his pressure points; the wrist and neck.

"Kyusho Jutsu! Such an advanced art in the hands of one so young! Where did you get your training?"

I snorted, remembering my training days with Grimmjow and Ulquiorra. Nothing but the best for Aizen's progeny, "Let's just say it was the best money could buy."

Figuring this to be Ichigo's eccentric father, I Release him and am shocked by his speed as he whips around, gripping me in an unsuspecting, uncomfortable hug, "I, Kurosaki Isshin, deem you worthy of my son!"

I shift a little, trying to find room to get air to my lungs, "Aw, now you're just tryin' tah flatter me." So this was Ichi's old man huh? Normally parents hate me. Good thing the only one that matters seems to be different, "Tensa Shirosaki. It's a pleasure."

Over his shoulder and the hood of my car, I catch Ichigo exiting the house, two teenage girls in tow. "Dad, get the hell off him!"

The elder Kurosaki backed off with a goofy smile and spun back around to face his son, "A fine specimen you have found my son! Now you can both move in with Dad!"

As I contemplated how, or if I should even respond to that, one of the girls, the blonde…Yuzu, I assume, called out, "Dad, help Shiro-nii carry in the bags, dinner will be ready soon." Huh, never been a Shiro-nii before…I could definitely get used to that.

Grabbing the rest of the bags Isshin left behind as he dutifully followed his daughter's orders, I watched amused as he bound up the stairs and through the door, yelling out the joys of a family dinner. Chuckling, I walk up to Ichigo and the girls, noticing the curious, yet hard stare of…Karin, I believe. "Somethin' on yer mind?"

Her gaze didn't falter, "Just wondering how freaking weird you have to be to get the approval of our egg-headed father so fast."

I snorted and was thinking of how to respond when a laughing Ichigo beat me to it, "You have no idea."

I tried to look offended, but was so amused and taken with his laugh that I probably failed miserably, "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

Huge smile still in place he began shaking his head and turned to lead the girls inside, "Karin, Yuzu, this is Shiro."

Karin responded first, "Yeah, figured that one out, thanks genius." Followed closely by Yuzu turning around for a short bow, "Pleased to finally meet you Shiro-nii," and then following the other two through the door.

I stood there a little shell shocked at the oddness of it all before I remembered that I was supposed to be offended, "Oi, Ichigo!"

And that's how I met the Kurosaki's.

***Merry Christmas Everyone!