Disclaimer; I do not own Grey's Anatomy, or any of it characters. Shonda Rhimes does and ABC, nor do i own the song which is my favourite song off the new Backstreet Boys album.

A/N. After listening to the song All of my life (you need love) on BSB new album This Is Us, i came up with this idea, and although it has changed slightly from where i started it, in some ways the song is still relevant, but i won't post the lyrics over here, but if you are interesting them send me a msg and mail them to you. Updates will only be one per week since i don't have as many banked as i would normally like before posting.

It is set after 2.1 Into you like a train, and i am aware the episode number might confuse some ppl as over here in the UK, that episode was the start of season 2. It is set straight after that episode after Derek chooses Addison. Enjoy! And i hope you all enjoy the ride.


"Oh, you're staying with her"

"Mer, she's my wife"

Those words had haunted her for the past two days, haunting her even more as she sat on her bathroom floor staring at the stick that had just turned blue. She couldn't believe that this was happening to her, not right now, these past three months, has brought her closer to happiness than she ever thought possible, and also the worse pain imaginable. First she was Ellis Grey's daughter, then the intern sleeping with the attending, the attending that turned out to be married and who chose his freaking Isabella Rossellini gorgeous wife over her and worse off all she told him that she loved him. Now this, she was pregnant with said boss's love child.

Meredith knew that there was no way she could stay in Seattle if she chose to keep this baby, but she couldn't imagine aborting this child, whose father she loved so much. For her own sake and Derek's; it would be best if she left. She did not want him to leave Addison and chose her just because she was pregnant with his child.

Two days later, Meredith was walking out of the chief office and walked straight into the person that she was hoping to avoid.

"Meredith, is everything alright?" Derek asked her holding on to her arm, Meredith quickly withdraw her arm, like she had received an electric shock.

"That is none of your business DR Shepherd" Meredith said harshly.


"Dr Shepherd, it is Dr Grey to you" Meredith said coldly.

"Mer..." Derek said, and Meredith winced as he called her by her shortened name, like he used too, before he choose her.

"Dr Shepherd, until i leave Seattle, you will call me Dr Grey, and only if you have too, otherwise I don't want to hear from you unless it is for a professional reason" Meredith said, tears threatening to fall, before quickly walking away from him. Derek stood there watching her, confused at what she meant about leaving.

Two days later, Derek found himself driving past Meredith house and pulling into her driveway; the two months that he had spent with Meredith in this house had felt more like home than the last eleven years that he had been married to Addison. Before he knew it he was ringing the doorbell - Meredith answered the door with a surprised look on her face.

"Derek...what are you doing here?"

"Meredith...Are you leaving?" Derek asked her, Meredith nodded her head.

"I leave tomorrow night" she told him.

"Please Mer...Don't leave" Derek begged her.

"I have to Derek"

"No you don't. How am I supposed to get through any of this if I can't see you every day?" Derek said to her, as the tears started falling, reaching his hand out to touch her, but N=Meredith took a step back.

"Derek, you chose Addison, you made your choice and now we both have to live with it" Meredith said, unashamed at her own tears, it tore her heart to shreds knowing that this would be the last time that she would see the man that she loved.

"I wish I didn't" Derek said taking a step closer to her.

"Derek...don't" Meredith said backing away from him.

"I am so sorry Meredith that I did this to us" Derek said sadly, shattering her already broken heart into a million pieces.

"Derek, you are a good man, you are trying to make things work, you wouldn't be you if you didn't. It means that I wasn't wrong about you" Meredith said with a small sad smile.

"I do love you, Meredith, please don't ever forget that, I love you so much" Meredith didn't know why but she believed him, she took a step closer to him, and stood on her toes, and gently kissed him.

"I love you too...we love you so much" Meredith said, saying her own silently goodbye to the only man she had ever loved.

"Please stay safe, Meredith" Derek said, sobbing.

"I will, I promise" Meredith assured him, making eye contact with him for the first time in days.

"So this is good bye"

"Yep, I guess it is" Meredith said, neither one of them moving from the spot where they stood. They are drawn together for one final kiss, a kiss to show how much they love each other and to say goodbye.

"I don't want to say goodbye" Derek said mournfully.

"Then don't, I'll see you soon" Meredith said.

"Yeah see you soon, Mer" Derek said before walking out of her door, and this time for good.

Derek was stood on the walkway staring out over the hospital parking lot; he knew that Meredith was at the airport, he managed to get it out of Izzie. He felt like a part of him was missing, that she was taking something of his with him, which she was, she was taking his heart with her.

"Derek" he heard his wife stood behind him.

"What?" Derek said more harshly than he intended too.

"Are you alright?" Addison knew he wasn't and she knew why.

"I'm alright, no you know what, I'm not alright Addison, the woman I love is leaving..." Derek yells at her, before knowing what he had to do. Derek ran out the hospital, and into his car, before driving out of the hospital parking lot.

He needed to stop her from leaving, he needed to give her a reason to stay, and he needed to show her that he loved her and not Addison. Derek didn't notice the light at the intersection changing to red, and the other truck coming through the intersection until it smashed into him, as he became unconscious the last thing he saw was Meredith's face.

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