Edward Cullen, son of prominent surgeon Carlisle Cullen is sick of moving, sick of trying to make friends and sick of silly girls wanting in his pants. Enter Jessica Stanley who doesn't like to back down from a challenge. How many times, in how many ways can Edward turn her down before she takes a hint? AU/AH B/E.

Arriving at yet another school, in yet another town, in yet another state… I think I deserve a fucking medal for being that understanding to my dear old dad, who felt the need to move, yet again, to another podunk town in the middle of fucking nowhere to show his selfless need to "give back" to rural communities. Well-fucking-done dad. You have successfully persuaded this entire town that the sun really does shine from your ass and is not actually a burning ball of gas in the sky. Kudos to you! This time it's the town of Forks, Washington on the Olympic Peninsula that will be home to the Cullen brood for the next three (maybe? if we're lucky?) years.

This has to be the five billionth (only a slight exaggeration) school I think I have been forced to attend since my life began a grand old 17 years ago in Chicago. I'd like to say I miss Chicago, but unfortunately, I only ever spent about 3 years there before we moved and can't remember a goddamn thing about the place. Since then, the routine has little changed and we still move every three years, give or take. This for me, means that I don't bother making attachments to friends, girlfriends, people, dogs, cats or fucking mice! There really is just no point.

My much smaller, but only very slightly older twin sister Alice has the opposing view to me though. She loves the meeting and greeting, therefore she has thousands of friend's country-wide. She also managed to persuade our mum and dad, to allow her boyfriend of four years to come with us on our travels. Their story is quite the sickening one. They met in our first day of school in a hick town in Texas, their eyes met across the room, the chemistry was palpable and that, as they say, was that. How fucking romantic. When we moved, Alice pretty much put her little tiny foot down and insisted that if Jasper was not allowed to come with us, then she was staying there. As Alice and I (despite my sarcasm and her abundant enthusiasm) are extremely close, my proverbial foot went down right along side hers. I also metaphorically stuck my jaw out, and like a child having a tantrum, yelled 'YEAH!' Take that parental units! Of course, what Alice wants, Alice gets (in one way or another) and so, we are now toting Jasper around with us. He's like Alice's favourite accessory. Better than a handbag or a pair of shoes.

So, here we are. The three of us, sitting in my lovely, lovely car, my only friend, a Silver Volvo (not a granny car), lovingly and erotically named Vulva Volvo (snigger, snigger) which I refuse to sell and insist on coming with us - hmm, its like my car is my very own version of Jasper - contemplating the school in front of me. A random assortment of buildings, squat and brick and functional, stand before me. Jasper is in the passenger seat, seemingly exited about the prospects of a new school seeing as how he is still new to the moving game and Alice is leaning forwards through the middle of the seats, practically buzzing. She has no "new school" excuse like Jasper does…she just bounces, a lot.

'Come on Edward,' she says to me, along with a nudge in the shoulder. 'It doesn't look so bad! I have a feeling about this place, you know. Good things will happen here, if you just let them.'

I turn to look at her and place a grimace… sorry, a nice (false) smile on my face. 'Right. Let's just get the fuck inside before it starts raining again.'

The cheeky little wench actually sighs at me, a full bodied, large, chest expanded to the max, eyes rolling, sigh, before nodding and grabbing her bag. 'Let's get in there Jazz'.

Jasper shrugs at me before opening the passenger door and getting out the car. I take a few deep breaths and mutter to myself, 'here we go a-fucking-gain' and get out the car, locking it, and striding towards the building that holds a rather large sign stating the word "office".

The parking lot is filled with many older cars making "Vulva Volvo" look like the most decent car in the lot. Well, that was until the convertible red two seater BMW pulled into the lot and parked about four spaces down from my car. That was good. I really did not want to feel shitty about my buddy, my pal, my V.V., but putting that flashy piece of crap next to her, would only hurt her feelings, and my car definitely has feelings.

I paid no attention to the occupiers and continued my walk across the yard and towards the school, Alice and Jazz tagging along behind me. We have this routine down now from our last two schools. The only difference is that this time, we have Jasper too.

We walk to the school, the bimbos and assholes all trying to get looks at us. They whisper to each other about how we are dressed, what we look like, who is going to bed whom. I'm not yanking my own chain here; we are a good looking family. My father Carlisle is only 40 years old and is a prominent surgeon. My mother Esme is 39 years old and an interior designer and bountiful charity worker. They are also both ridiculously blessed in the looks department and so it was only natural that Alice and I didn't end up fugly. That would have been a totally messed up twist of fucking fate had that happened!

Oh, No… What was that, the small one and the blonde one are holding hands? Oh dear, does that mean they are together? Do they live together? Is the other one free then?

Fucking shoot me…here we go again…

I pass a gaggle of girls, and yes, they are a gaggle because they are a bunch of nasty ass birds, that honk like geese and dress like prostitutes. They automatically lean backwards slightly as I walk past them, emphasizing their tits and breathing heavily to show them off. Yeuck! I am now the recipient of approximately sixteen sleazy smiles and I scowl at them, warning them to back the fuck off. Of course, this works about as well as sticking a sign above my head stating "Fuck me now… I want you, oh baby, oh baby". Honestly, why don't these idiots ever pick up on body language? The gaggle simultaneously sigh out a breathy 'hey' to me. I look the other way and pick up speed towards the office.

My sister and Jasper catch me up and enter the building and make our way down the dank corridor in front of us until we reach a door stating 'office'. We enter the room and make our way over to the lady behind the desk, who identifies herself as a Mrs. Cope and bloody flutters her eyelids at me. What is it with women! Leave me the heck alone! She finds our details on the computer system and lets us know that our transcripts have arrived. Then she hands out class schedules for us along with school maps and other such crap.

Alice, being Alice, thanks the woman profusely and nudges me to acknowledge her. I smile briefly at Mrs Cope and honest to god… the woman practically swoons. Swoons! In this day and age! I file this information about my effect on her away in my noggin, thinking that this may come in handy in the future! Evil Edward pretty much mentally waggles his eyebrows and thinks up some dastardly deeds in which he can escape punishment by dazzling poor Mrs Cope into submission.

How the fuck did that happen? How the fuck did "Jalice" get every fucking class together and I have to fucking stand alone? Bastard school!

So, here I am. About to enter my first lesson, English Lit, alone! On my own! Without the twin! Who will fend off the sluts for me? Fuck, this will be hard work and quite possibly, boring as hell. I mean, I like English… I even like English Lit! I do like to read. The problem is that I actually enjoy the classics and have read all the books on the school reading lists and understand what the fuck they are talking about. So, therefore…what the fuck am I actually going to learn in this class? Skank avoidance 101 methinks!

I enter the classroom and head towards the teacher. I notice there is an empty table in the back right hand corner. Fucking excellent! Right on! Mentally giving myself a high five! I hand my slip over to be signed and when the teacher, who introduced himself as Mr. Spears (how ironic… I wonder if he calls himself Shake?), points towards the back of the room, he looks at the corner of the room, then looks at me and then fucking well sniggers. I mean, what the fuck is he chuckling about? I turn to head towards my nice and lovely empty desk and then, it all makes fucking sense. The two skankilicious nonbabes at the desk in front of what would be mine, have split off into two, whereupon they have taken a desk each in an effort to make me chose between sitting with one of them.

Well… Fuck that!

I place a smirk onto my face and saunter, yes… I did saunter, to the back of the room to MY desk, noticing the scowl on the face of the other bimbo, and before I consider sitting down, I hold my hand out to the nastyass bitch at MY desk.

'Hi, what's your name?' I ask her, in my oh so seductive voice.

She flutters her eyelids at me and smiles a slightly too toothy, not quite white enough grin before replying 'Jessica Stanley, but my friends call me Jess'.

She slips her slightly damp palm into mine. The whole room is quiet and watching me with this girl.

I lift her hand up towards my mouth and because I'm not bending down, and she therefore has no choice, she stands and flutters her eyelids at me in an 'apparently' seductive way. I pull her gently towards me and like a moth to a flame, she has no choice but to move towards me, I'm drawing her in with my gaze. She puffs out her chest and looks at me from beneath her lashes. I step backwards, still holding her hand and she follows eagerly moving towards me.

'Jessica' I breathe towards her and she shivers, not noticing that I have called her by her full name, releasing my intentions to not become her friend, and pivot her to her left and casually dump her back in the chair beside her friend. I let go of her hand and move behind my desk, picking up her bag and dumping it in front of her on her desk.

'I work better alone' I state quite blandly and sit in the chair that I evacuated her from.

Her friend lets out a nasty nasally laugh at the misfortune of her friend and suddenly the whole room is laughing at her, including Mr (Shake?) Spears which I think is fucking wrong. I may not like the girl, but whatever happened to impartiality in the classroom.

Jessica turns bright red and turns to her friend, whispering loudly 'Shut up, Lauren. He could have just as easily done that to you if he wanted this desk.'

I snigger, because that was very true and the look on Lauren's face was definitely amusing to say the least. Shit! Jessica thinks that because I laughed at her response, that she still has a chance… she shyly smiles at me and flutters her eyelids again.

Fuck my life.