One winter Edward and Bella Cullen, along with their young daughter Renesmee , decided to visit the Overlook Hotel. Everybody was gone until the spring, and the Cullen couple had been asked to oversee the establishment for a mere week. Approximately two hours in, after listening to the sound of Bella's voice, Edward lost his mind(not that he really had one in the first place). Bella locked herself in the bathroom of their suite and shoved their daughter through the window which she could, for some inexplicable reason, not just break to make enough room to squeeze through herself. Edward chopped down the door with an axe that we're not really sure where he found.
"Here's Eddie…" he cackled in a bad impression of Jack Nicholson.
Bella screamed in her irritating voice which deafened him temporarily, and then she ran around him into the lobby and out into the snow. Edward followed her, and just as he was about to catch up, he tripped and they both exploded for no apparent reason.
Renesmee escaped, changed her name, and went on to hunt vampires, which, being a half-vampire herself, a.k.a. a dhampir, was not completely unheard of. She murdered all of the Cullen's for allowing her parents to give her such a stupid name, and then she also slaughtered the remaining residents of Forks. Then she joined with a band of vampires (not faeries like her family) and they all lived happily ever after. The End.