Once upon a time in the Land of Oz there lived a boy in a womb. About nine months later his name was Harry Flotter. Night time fell on the happy family roughly one or two years after Harry was born and Voldefort came to visit.
"Over the trash cans and through the gate I have fought my way to your front door for my power as great and wig as fine, give me the child!" Voldefort screamed.
"First are you quoting Labyrinth? And second where I grew up if someone tries to kidnap your kid you pull a gun on them." Lilly screamed giving him the finger before slamming the door.
Voldefort was shocked but we all know what happens now, his faithful death gangers came rapping on the door and helped Voldefort defeat the Flotters. No one knows what happens next but some giant picked up the kid and brought him to his aunt and uncle's house.
Roughly nine or ten years later Harry came out of his crib (cupboard) to cook the bacon. His chains were hanging as low as his pants and his polka dot underwear was in plain sight. Since his cousin was mega obese he was forced to dress like a gangster so he wouldn't be picked on for wearing massive clothes. Adjusting his grills (dental plate) he ate a pitiful breakfast before getting up and going to get the mail.
"Ay, bros and hoes Flotters got himself an education!" Harry yelled bouncing back and forth on his heels.
After that the same giant came and took Harry to Diagont Sally to get his school stationary.
"So y'er family, were th'y excited to see you go?" Hagfid asked.
"Oh yeah bro, mass excited bro they be like 'Yeah bro you go and get yourself an education' real supportive of me going to the school of rapping" Harry said busting out some sick moves behind an old woman.
Roughly two weeks or so Harry was boarding the train to his education school. Harry thought it weird that they had to get past a secret door that made you eat your way through jelly but he knew to go with the flow.
"You bro. You Harry Flotter, my man!" A firery headed boy said grasping his hand and clapping in greeting.
His name was Ron Weaspee and no sooner than that had they met Hermione Stranger a rising star hip hop dancer. Boarding the train Harry ripped open the window and yelled out to all the parents and unlucky little kids.
"Yeah Boy! I'm going to the finest school of witchrapping and wizdancing!" He yelled clapping along with the other kids.
School went awesome-ly. Harry was vastly become the top rapper and the most famous lil'diddy in the world. He also had a rival Draco Fatloy they had scheduled a rap off that night in the forbidden rap ground.
"Fatloy, Let's get it started right now!" Harry yelled jumping up and shaking like he has a seizure,
"Yo, Im just a twelve year ol' boy
but I gots big talent
Just a four year ol' boy
and I was rapping that talent
you think your cool?
you fool! Aint nothing but a tool
Everyone gotta know
Harry Flotter rules the school!"
Harry ended the song by doing the worm and a loud cheer.
Falfoy collected his bling and cleared his throat,
"Yo, that was really cute
cant deny you got talent
but get out of my way
cause I'm rocking this planet
I aint no fool, aint no tool
I'm just rocking, aint stopping
till I'm top of the school!"
Fatloy ended his song by breaking down and shaking his head in everyone's direction.
Suddenly the most absurd thing happened. Dumblecord and Severus Snacker entered the ground dressed in identical bright purple jumpsuits and sideways hats.
The cleared there throats turned to each other and nodded their heads in rhythm, Snacker then busted out his beat boxing skills and Dumblecord's wheezy old voice filled the forest
"Bitches you both fools
Dumblecord rules the school
Not only am I headmaster but I got a good head
Not only am I rapping but I'm rapping till I dead
Get your mouths off the ground I know I got talent
More talent than both of you
So give it up cause you just aint cool!"
He finished off with a spin and dipped Snacker low to the ground. They then left leaving the whole school in shock.
"You may not like it" Ron whispered to Harry, "But you can't deny Dumblecords got style".
And with that they all left to go to their dorms and work on their crumping even Hermione was busting out a good beat box here and there.
Now, to the point of this whole story Harry Flotter prided himself on being able to stay out of everyone's business so when news came around the block about some stone of life and some nickel guy he just let it fly by. So imagine his surprise when Voldefort turned up on Professor Squirrel's head. It really wasn't a good time considering the whole school was watching him and Cedric Figgory rap off.
"Kill the spare!" A voice echoed.
A rainbow light splashed out of the Professor's wand and splashed in waves over to Cedric before drowning him in colour and killing him.
"Professor, you killed Cedric!" Harry yelled dramatically waving his hand over his forehead.
"Not I fool, but Lord Voldefort!" He yelled revealing under his turban to be indeed Voldefort.
"Ay-y-y-y!" Harry yelled smiling as he patted Voldefort's/Professor's shoulder.
"Ay-y-y-y!" Voldefort yelled smiling back.
"Ay! Ay! Ay!"Voldefort screamed.
"Ay? Bro we past that part" Harry whispered to him.
"No! No, no, no! I came here to kill you!" He yelled.
"What?" Harry said sitting back on his beach chair.
"Ever wondered how you got that that smiley faced scar on your left butt check? Well I did it but I was meant to kill you it was a mistake and now I'm going to kill you just so we got that straight I'm going to kill you." He said withdrawing a wand.
Everyone had been tied up as Voldefort thought of a plan on how to kill them. Harry was getting bored of the whole boring tragic thing.
"Can't we just be death gangers?" Harry moaned.
"That can be arranged" Voldemort smiled flicking his blond Hannah Montana wig around.
So it was settled Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco became Death Gangers and went on to become the best dancing and rapping group of the world.
A/N: If anyone got this far, I applaud you. Give yourself a silent pat on the back. No? Go on no one's watching. That's better.