3Ok my very first fanfic...
I guess I'm obligated to make a disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any other character even though they've made a cozy home in my head.
Also warnings include Yaoi/Slash/boy on boy action (whatever floats your boat), language and sexual inuendos. You've been warned.
"Kyuu nee chan I cant find my socks," said a wide eyed slightly nervous blond standing at the kitchen door afraid to enter.
The redhead snapped her head towards the blond, her emerald eyes flashing with an intensity that made the blond take a step back involuntarily.
Her smile was disturbingly sweet. She corked her head to one side before speaking, "If I find them Naruto I'll make you wear them to school…." Naruto's eyes got wider "…as a nightcap using you balls to top them off.
Naruto scrambled his way up the stairs before he got to the described predicament, passing a mildly curious raven who had just entered the room. The said raven turned around to catch Kyuubi's grin and a wink before he shook his head, sighed, and sat at the table and grabbed a toast.
A silence followed for the next ten minutes as one munched on his breakfast, the other viciously mashed potatoes and the third wreaked havoc trying to find a sock. The tornado soon found its way to the dining table shabbily dressed and furious.
"Sasukeeee stop gobbling my ramen, teme!"
Raising a perfect eyebrow the raven looked at the blond, "Uchihas don't gobble, dobe, we leave that honor to the Uzumakis" A pan came flying towards the raven's head through the kitchen that he easily dodged but the blond wasn't so lucky.
"Oww oww owwwww….Kyuu neeeee!" Naruto glared at his sister holding his nose.
"Eat your toast and leave." The emphasis being on 'leave' the two decided to get out of the fiery redhead's way but not before Naruto turned around to whine, "no ramen?" Sasuke ushered the blond out as few more pans whirred past them hitting the spot where Naruto's head was few seconds ago.
Sasuke and Naruto had been friends for as long as either of them could remember. They had first met at the age of 4 at kindergarten. Naruto had instantly been fascinated with the Uchiha while Sasuke did everything in his power to stay away from 'the annoying sunshine boy.' Needless to say, the day Naruto poured his love out for the raven in a slob of what he called a mud pie and delivered it on the unsuspecting brooder's lap all hell broke loose.
From that day on neither could stay in the same room for more than 10 minutes before a fight broke out that soon involved everyone in their vicinity. They were banned from being within 2 meters of each other's radius since their first fight. Yet the way they managed to turn absolutely everything ranging from food to garbage into objects of propulsion was sheer genius if it hadn't been so distructive.
On a frigid day when Naruto'd look for his hoodie he'd find the openings seemlessly sealed with super glue. When Sasuke would want to take a bathroom break he'd find the door to all the existing toilets locked. Sasuke found that the most effective way to infuriate the blond was to get in between him and his food and sleep. Hence Sasuke would hide various alarm like objects in Naruto's clothes or bag such that it would ring or sound at various intervals of the night. Of course coming between Naruto and his food was easier. All he had to do was to knock down his ramen and the afternoon would most definitely end in a food fight.
But it was easiest for Naruto to get on to the raven's nerves by simply attacking his pride. Anything ranging from messing with his possession to disturbing an inch of his gravity defying hair was enough to make him livid.
One would think in the years to come they'd grow out of it. Yet, something in the blond always made the smart, suave, perfect Uchiha lose all control. And as for Naruto, he never gave up on pursuing the raven.
So as it happened, Naruto finally wore Sasuke down somewhere in the middle of 7th grade from which time they became fast, albeit a little aggressive, friends.
Now at the age of 15 and 16, Naruto and Sasuke were at their second year of high school. They ate together, went to school together, studied together and hung out together. The only time that they were separated was when they returned to their respective homes to sleep.
Presently they were joined on their way to school by a spiky haired loud mouthed brunette, a lazy assed guy whose hair looked like a potted plant, a zombied red head who looked like a doll right out of child's play 2, a long haired aristrocratic snoot, a fatass with two pinecones for hair and a beady eyed bushy browed spandex wearing monster, all otherwise known as Naruto's friends. Funny how each were defined solely by the personality of the fuzz on their head.
"Mendokusai," – Shikamaru
"Naruto no yatsu, race you to class," – Kiba
"Yosh! Lets do it!" – Lee
Munch munch – Choji
"…" – Gaara
".." – Neji
"KYAAAAAA!" – random girls approaching school.
"Did you hear the latest gossip?" Shikamaru jumped almost a foot above the ground when Ino breathed into his ear from behind him.
"Troublesome woman," Shikamaru muttered as he scratched his ear. He noticed then that Sakura and Hinata were with her, Sakura looking visibly ill while Hinata blushed and avoided eye contact. He raised an eyebrow and turned his attention to the blond pig tailed woman who was grinning. The group continued to move towards their classroom as Ino deemed it the right moment to spill.
"It seems our middle school class teacher and high school pervert of a math teacher were caught going at it in the teacher's council room."
Neji cringed, Sasuke went visibly paler and Gaara…was still doing child's play doll. Naruto, Lee and Kiba had dashed off as soon as the word "race" was out of the brunnette's mouth so they missed the news flash…which probably explained the next thing that happened.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Naruto and Kiba dashed back out of the class with double the speed they dashed in and hurtled down the corridor continuing to yell manically.
"My eyes! I'm never going to be able to see again," Kiba howled.
"My head's never going to be the same again!" Naruto wailed.
"Not much of a loss." Naruto glared at Sasuke.
At that moment Lee walked towards them looking confused. "Neji, my all knowing friend can you tell me what our two teachers are doing in the class room? Is it a form of yoga or a method of teaching?"
Everyone sweat dropped as the beady eyed boy continued to look puzzled.
"Oh it's a technique of Yoga alright" snorted said a muscular brunette joining the group. "I'm sure Neji will be honored to teach you in his spare time," he winked.
The long haired snoot choked as another blonde grabbed the brunnette's head. "I'm sure Kankuro will oblige you Lee. After all he does excel in it." Temari smirked. "Hey Gaara," she greeted her younger brother to which the red head nodded imperceptibly.
"No thanks I'll pass," Kankuro scowled.
The group sniggered as Lee remained in the dark about the secrets of life.
"So give me the dirt girl, what's the story?" Temari turned to Ino.
Ino grinned, "Well it seems Kakashi Sensei finally caught an unsuspecting bunny in his perverted web." The guys all rolled their eyes at the gossiping girls. "The thing is from what I've heard, his prey wasn't really objecting. And from the way Naruto and Kiba dashed out I'm suspecting their feast isnt over just yet."
"Uh huh, I bet they're getting to dessert. Wanna check it out?"
"Would I ever," Ino and Temari turned to the others.
"Thanks guys but I think I'll pass seeing as he's my mentor," Sakura said sheepishly.
"You girls are gross" Kankuro interjected.
"Don't kid yourself Kankuro if it was Tem and me you'd be the first one there with a video camera" smirked Ino before the two blonds headed into the class room, vaguely hearing "eew didn't need the mental image of my sister!" behind them.
Before they got in however a very red man with a high pony and a scar across his nose strode out a little wobbly. All eyes trained on Naruto as he resolutely looked anywhere but at the man. He walked past them, a trace of sadness in his eyes.
A hand smacked the blond boy upside the head.
"What?" Naruto glared at Sasuke.
"Hn, Dobe" is all he got as a reply as they all strode into class except Neji, Lee, Temari and Kankuro. Temari headed towards senior year class rooms mumbling something about missing the action while Kankuro, Neji and Lee moved to sophomore.
Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, Ino, Hinata, Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto scattered themselves around the classroom finding their seats. Sakura and Hinata sat in front because they tended to be more involved in lectures; Ino, Kiba and Naruto all sat around the middle because the loved to be the center of distraction while Sasuke, Shikamaru and Chouji who preferred no interaction whatsoever, seated themselves right at the back along with yet another strange comrade, Shino, known for his dark glasses, pulled up collars that covered his face and monotone voice that was seldom heard.
Having taken their seats along with the rest of their class mates, they turned their attention to the teacher in front of them. One would think that he had the decency to look embarrassed at having his students witness certain R rated activities of his, but Kakashi wasn't one to care about impressionable minds and their corruption. His opinion was that today's 'impressionable' minds could impress him with far more information than he could ever give them. So without so much as a blush he began his class.
"Greetings satan's minions, you may work out the questions given in page 27 have the answers submitted by the end of class"
Shuffling of feet, bags, pages and mutterings of curses answered this demand as the class got to work while their sensei stretched himself in his chair, feet on the table, and closed his eyes.
"Why do we have to learn all this stuff when all that is used in life is add, subtract, divide and multiply(1)," Kiba broke the silence that had settled in.
The class snickered, Naruto looked aghast at the question while Ino grinned all knowing exactly what Kiba meant. Unfortunately so did Kakashi Sensei and his reply had Ino struggling to hold herself from laughing like an idiot.
"Want me to take private lessons to teach you the importance of geometric angles in life as well, Kiba?"
Kiba eeped and shut up. He wouldn't put it past his Sensei to follow up on his word.
"But Sensei, don't you think we need to practice the application of math as well? Ino smirked evilly. Kiba gasped, Naruto covered his head with his hands.
"Ino, you've had enough practice for a life time, and Naruto will you stop that" Kakashi stated without blinking.
Naruto was now repeatedly banging his forehead on the desk.
"Kakashi Sensei maybe we should end the topic," Sakura said, uneasily.
"Yeah just coz you haven't got any forehead girl," Ino smirked as Kiba gave a bark of a laugh as they high fived.
Sakura glared at Ino. "Not everybody's a slut, Ino buta(pig)."
Ino's smile widened "Yeah, Yeah atleast I've had Sasuke"
The whole class gasped and turned their gaze towards Sasuke who didn't bother to acknowledge or deny it as he continued to write.
Naruto was up on his seat in seconds facing Sasuke.
"Teme! Is that true?"
"Che, whats it to you Dobe?" Sasuke replied hardly glancing up to look at Naruto.
"Ore wa kimi ni wa makenai!" Naruto yelled (I will not lose to you)
"Ha! Who's going to do it with you?" barked Kiba
"Che mendokusai" Shikamaru grumbled.
"Urusai!" People never saw Kakashi angry but he was pretty close to getting there at the moment.
"What's wrong with you people? And just where do you get off speaking like that in class?"
"We get off on a lot of things, Kakashi Sensei." Sasuke smirked.
Half the class gasped while the other half went dead silent as Kakashi stiffened.
"A 5000 word essay by Monday morning on the difference between lust and love. No excuses. They're going to be included in the term grading"
Kakashi broke into an evil grin and walked out at the sound of the bell leaving behind a batch of enraged kids.
"Baka, Aho, Yarro!" Naruto glared at Sasuke. "You couldn't keep your mouth shut?"
"This coming from the biggest loudspeaker of all time," Sasuke stated unfazed.
"Now what are you going to do Sasuke teme? Where the hell are we supposed to find the kind of information to fill 35 pages?
Sasuke sighed and put his head down on the table. Even he didn't have the anser to that question.
Elsewhere Kakashi was having a hearty time laughing sitting with his clueless lover. This was going to bring in a lot of change in his students' lives.
(1) - reference to the crude joke, how to teach a girl math. 'Add her to the bed, subtract her clothes, divide her legs and multiply'
Review Kudasai! Also M rated stuff will come only after a few relationships are sorted out so it's going to be T for a while.