The Little Bugger Stole Itself!


author's note: cookies to Pyrefangs who spent like… forty minutes hashing through titles with me. Thanks for the help, sweets.

I hand't originally intended to write this but was encouraged when I read Death1991's 'The Alien Job'. I highly recommend you read that if you haven't and are interested in more Leverage/Transformers fun.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Sadly.

Simon Darcey grinned to himself as he sailed down the road in a brand new crimson 2010 Porsche Turbo. His wife was going to be so surprised. She hadn't wanted to leave Wales and come to Seattle of all places, but she willingly followed her husband halfway across the world so that he could take advantage of a great job opportunity with a small but successful software company.

Everything had gone well and he felt that his wife deserved a gift for putting up with his obsessive geekiness. And so he started researching the various kinds of nice sports cars on the internet. A few car forums and a mountain of data later, he came across a seller who was leaving the country unexpectedly and wanted to find a good home for his practically brand new Porsche. The price was a steal and the man was positively delightful on the phone.

A few phone calls, a test drive and an envelope of cash later, Simon had a new Porsche. Or well.. his wife did. His grin slid into a full blown smile as he pulled up the driveway and parked. He stepped out and waved at his wife as she stood in the doorway looking at the shiny car. "Hey Honey, I'm home!" he jokingly called, thinking of the TV cliche as fully appropriate.

Bridget Darcey peered around the half opened screen door she was using as a shield between her and the driveway. She felt suspicious of the car her husband had brought home and she didn't know why. She frowned at him, "Simon… What is that?"

Simon internally congratulated himself for not letting his smile falter. "It's a Porsche, Love. Specifically a 2010 Turbo. Just for you."

Bridget arched an eyebrow, "You bought me a Porsche?"

Simon nodded ecstatically. Bridget narrowed her eyes at him before descending the front stoop and circling the car. Coming around the front, she stopped next to her husband with crossed arms and stared at it for a moment. "You bought me a Porsche," she stated dryly.

Simon nodded again and then spread his arms in an expectant manner, smiling from ear to ear. Bridget's mouth finally quirked into a smile and she stepped forward into her husband's excited hug. "So, who'd you kill?" she asked.

He huffed and laughed, "No one."

"Then you got fired?"


"You broke off a well-hidden affair?"

"Heavens no, woman!"

"Then what kind of trouble are you in?"


"You're not in trouble and you bought me a Porsche?"



"Because I love you and you're the best wife ever."

"Uh huh."

Simon laughed into his wife's hair before kissing her on the forehead. "Go get your keys. Tell the kids we'll be right back and let's take this beauty out for a quick drive. Okay?" Bridget laughed and nodded. She then swatted his rear before heading inside.

Simon smiled as he rubbed the offended area before leaning against the car. For a brief moment he thought the car had shuddered but he brushed it off as his imagination. He waved at the kids as they appeared in the window to gawk at the Porsche. They grinned and waved back as his wife stepped out the door and closed it behind her.

A quick drive soon turned into four jaunts around the block as all three of the kids wanted to ride in the tiny two-seater as well. They finally parked the car in the garage, had dinner watched and movie and put the kids too bed. Simon happily fell into a sated sleep aided by his very pleased wife.

He slept in the next morning as it was a rainy Saturday. He heard the jangle of keys and his wife call out that she was going to the grocery store to hit the weekend sales. A moment later a shocked scream ripped through the house.

Simon bolted out of bed, down the stairs and over the kids to his wife's side as she stood in the kitchen-side door to the garage. He looked in and then blinked. The Porsche was gone. He frowned and then turned and headed to his basement.

He sat at the security console he had set up down there and pulled up the filmed camera footage of his garage the night before. He fast forwarded until it showed the car backing out. Rewinding and playing back at normal speed, he frowned in deep consternation at the tape before exclaiming, "The little bugger stole itself!"

A/N - *giggles* So… who thinks they know what's gonna happen?