So as i looked over this again after i published it last night i realized , i really need to stop publishing things at two am when i have insomnia . So here it is again revised so that it makes scene .I know it has been a while so please don't throw any rotten fruit at me ;) but inspiration struck me and I had to write it down . I hope you all enjoy, again as most of the others this is a little a on the dark side .

And I am sorry it is a little short .

He leaned against the window pain of his room. It was so dark that night ,so dark he could barely see three feet in front of him even in his own room. Letting out a soft sigh through his nose he looked out into the black nothingness that engulfed the garden, despite the lack of light he knew she was out there wondering around. He didn't need the light to see her because no matter where she was he could always feel her presence.

Letting his head rest against the wooden board he crossed his arms over his chest pulling his night kimono closer around him . The night was not in particularly cold , but for some reason he needed the little extra little bit of warmth , that extra little bit of reassurance.

Looking out into the inky night he involuntarily shivered as he let his thoughts progress. In large crowed he always knew where she was at it was almost second nature for him to seek her out if he could not see her. He could feel her in a fire storm if he had too , and he hoped to god he never would.

Her tiny presence gave him reassurance that no matter what at the end of the day when everything was said and done he could still come home and find her warm little presence skittering around the manor making everything just a little bit more cheerful. In a world full of darkness, blood and despair he had come to the conclusion that she had become his little source of light , his little piece of humanity in the chaos.

Pursing his lips together he turned is head away from the window as his heart constricted it had been a month since she had, had the night terror. For a month solid he had felt her presence at night wondering around the grounds of the manor until the small hours of the morning. She was not letting herself sleep he could see it every morning when he looked into her eyes . The first week It had not been so pronounced, maybe there might have been some dark circles under her eyes but nothing noticeable.

He thought it would not last long he thought it would last at least a week at most that it would be okay that she return to herself. The week had come and gone and he still felt her wondering around aimlessly , and in the morning he watched as the bags started to form under her eyes in deep blue black rings.

He looked back into the darkness but his chest still felt tight if not tighter as it constricted. Around the fourth week at about three am he couldn't feel her move around anymore and he thought that she had finally decided that she could rest. His relief was short lived , not an hour after he felt her sleeping there was a soft knocking at his door. One of the maids had come to inform him that Lady Rukia had searched the herb cabinet and drugged herself to sleep using enough of It to put a man three times her size to sleep and if he wanted her to call a doctor.

Having known enough about the concoction she had made himself he knew she wasn't going to die she would just sleep dreamlessly for hopefully a long time so he sent the maid away and told her to call for him if in ten hours she did not wake up.

He had known the tea that she had made very well . After he was forced to execute one of his servants for the first time he had not been able to close his eyes without seeing the look in the man's eyes as kitana made contact with his neck. The man had been twice Byakuya's age , he would have been right around his own fathers age if his father had still been alive. Executions was not something that was done in the Kuchiki house. It was the first one that had been done since grandfather was his age, but it was something in this case that had to be done. The family could over look a shortage here or there in the food supply , but this man had been plotting with one of the other noble families to kill a lower member of his house hold and make it look like murder with in the family so that there would start to become a split in the family. Together they stood strong , divided they would have fallen.

This was the first act his grandfather had made him do as he positioned him to become head of house hold. It was to prove that he was indeed someone to be respected ,and feared. and it worked. that single act sent a shock waves throughout all four high households. It sent a message that his family was one of great power above the law and a force to be reckoned with, that he was a force to be reckoned with.

To this day he could still feel the way the blade felt as it sliced through the man's skin and the noise his head made as it rolled across the ground and to his feet. He was one hundred and young it had made him sick to his stomach and after that afternoon and many sleepless nights he needed to find something that help him find some reprieve. He had used it one time and one time only after that day ,and that was the night after Hisanna had been laid to rest.

Fighting back a bitter taste in his mouth he swallowed , and now his Rukia had to use it . The first time it hadn't been bad he had hoped that she would find rest and her now blood shot eyes would return to a normal color .

It hadn't as time went on she was still restless and more and more frequently she was using the mixture to find maybe an hour of reprieve from the hell that she was battling with in herself. As the nights continued he was at a loss as to what to do for her . She was not sleeping , she was barley eating and he skin tone had taken on the color of chalk.

He knew what he wanted to do , he wanted to scoop her up in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay. He wanted to let her pour her heart out to him, to let go of the secret hell that she had been living for so many years .

He snorted self deprecatingly, but how could he expect her to do that if he himself had never been willing to do the same for her?

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