AN : and i'm back. so for being so patient, I will leave with this for now. the next chapters to my stories will be up tomorrow :]
im kinda rusty so dont judge me please.
Summary : A Sky High student was murdered last month. Lash knows something no one else does. And it's eating away at him.
I've got a secret
It's on the tip of my tongue
On the back of my lungs
And I'm going to keep it
I know something you don't know
"Mirala Mendoza's body was found in Maxville park. Her body, scarred and drained of blood was -"
I turned off the TV. I couldn't handle hearing about her death. Not anymore. It was too painful. Mirala Mendoza. The most beautiful girl in Sky High, well, in my eyes. Perfect, naturally tan skin, raven black hair, full lips, high cheekbones, straight nose, wonderfully hazel eyes, and a body that most females would die for. I still remember the first time I met her.
"I'm sorry, is this seat taken?" I looked up and my heart stopped. This girl was gorgeous. Wearing a black tank top, ripped jeans tucked into knee-high converse with Rastafarian colored laces and a bondage style belt, I knew this girl would be labeled as a "bully" by Stronghold and his do-gooder friends.
"You sure you wanna be seen with me?" I heard myself ask. She smirked and sat down.
"I've been seen with worse." she replied as she pulled out a cigarette and lighter from her bag. "Cancer in a stick?" she asked as she held one out to me.
"Why not?" I shrugged as I took the one offered. She lit both and took a drag.
"So what's your name stripes?" she asked as she tilted her chair, kicked her legs up on the desk and took another drag.
"Jason. But please, call me Lash." I say as I lean back, then forward, satisfied with the popping sound my spine made and took another drag of the stogie in my hand. "And yours?"
"Mirala." she smiled, showing off a set of perfectly straight, white teeth. "Glad I got the braces off before I came here. Metal mouth for three years. Ugh, it was horrible." she laughed.
"Please refrain from smoking in the science lab. And don't put your feet on the tables." came Mr. Medulla's voice from the front of the room. Mirala rolled her eyes as she put out the cigarette on the sole of her shoe and put her feet back down on the ground. I noticed some black on her skin as her shirt rode up when she bent to put the half finished cigarette back in her bag.
"You have a tattoo?" I asked.
"Yep. A music note belt of a song that means a lot to me. And for the belt buckle, a stereo." she smiled.
"What song would that be?" I asked.
"Tik Tok by Ke$ha." I stared in disbelief.
"Hell no. Who Wants Flowers When You're Dead? Nobody." she said.
"I love Bring Me The Horizon." I smiled.
"Quiet class, I am explaining this lab for a reason. We can't afford for one careless mistake to possibly blow up our school and everyone in it." Mr. Medulla glared in our general direction. Mirala winked and blew him a kiss to which he rolled his eyes and continued explaining the lab we were doing that day.
From that day, Mirala and I had been pretty much inseparable. She and Speed hit it off nice and that was awesome since Speed usually doesn't take to people so easily. A few weeks later, Mirala and I were dating. A year later and we were still together and I was the happiest I'd been in a while. I was in love with her. She was pretty much my everything. And I know how and what killed her. But I can't bring myself to tell anyone. The memories are too much for me to handle. I have a hard enough time keeping them out of my conscious mind and I couldn't bear to relive them. Lying to the police was so hard. To say I had no idea what happened to her was the lowest form of blasphemy. But I just couldn't do it.
It sits in silence
Eats away at me
It feeds like cancer
This guilt could fill a fucking sea
I was the one that wanted to take the walk in the park. I was the one who lead her down the secret trail I'd found when I was a child. I was the one who ran when she told me to instead of fighting. I was to blame.
My fault. All of it. Eats eating me up inside and I can't take it. Like cancer, it's slowly taking over my life. I have more guilt than any teenager should. No one knows. No one will know.
Pulling teeth, wolves at my door
Now falling and failing is all I know
This disease is getting worse
I counted my blessings
Now I'll count this curse
It's getting worse everyday. Like an untreated disease. She was my angel, my air, my only connection to reality after it developed. She kept me sane. She held my hand when the doctor diagnosed me with schizophrenia. She stayed with me despite my illness.
I had stopped taking the medication in hope that the voices would keep the memories away. But all they spoke was of her and how I betrayed her.
"She loved you Jason."
Too much. It was all too much but I have to deal with this curse. My punishment for what I did.
The only thing I really know
I cannot sleep at night
I'm buried and breathing
I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. The memories kept coming back. Her screams, her telling me to run. Me being too stupid and scared to disobey. It should have been me. I should've died. The pain was excruciating.
I laid in bed, refusing to cry. Fighting the tears that were fighting their way out. One slips and the rest follow. I curl into myself, hoping to disappear. Hoping for death to tap on my shoulder so I could at least see her again. I cry until I need to run to the bathroom and puke. It's painful but I deserve it. I sit there, dry heaving as the memories flood back because I can't stop them.
"Do it Lash."
I look up and listen. I listen to the voices. I get up and walk to the kitchen.
"Find a blade."
And I listen.
I may look happy
But honestly dear,
The only way I'll really smile
Is if you cut me ear to ear
Every laugh with Speed shrill. Every smile forced. I was starting to think that maybe they should just cut my cheeks like The Joker. A permanent but fake smile. I play it off fine. Acting like I'm ok. But Speed sees right through it. He knows I'm practically numb of all feeling other than guilt and depression. No one else tries to see. Maybe the counselor I was required to see after her death did. But that was her job. Was I just another paycheck to her? Or did she really care? Why would she? No one else cares. They say they're sorry.
Sorry for what? They weren't at fault. I was. Maybe they just thought they needed to say something. Why? What can you say besides 'I'm sorry'? Nothing. There's nothing to say. Sorries won't bring her back. So why say it? Who cares?
"No one cares Lash."
"Why are you still here?"
Why am I still here?
I see the vultures
They watch me bleed
They lick their lips
As all the shame spills out of me
"I love you. You know that?" she smiled.
"Yes. I love you too Mirala." I laughed and hugged her close. "C'mon, I wanna show you something." I stood up and pulled her with me. The moon was out and the stars where bright. It was a beautiful night and I wanted to show her my 'special place'. I found it when I was a kid. A small pond, bushes and trees surrounding it. The grass was soft and it was just a calming place to think. I wanted her to see it.
"Where are we going?" she asked.
"You'll see." I say. I stopped for a second, something felt off. I just shook my head and ignored it. That would be the worst decision of my life.
THE END IS NIGH!
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
"L-lash? What was that noise?" she said, sounding worried.
"I don't know. We should probably head back." I say as I turn and come face to face with what seemed to be perfection.
"Why? You aren't scared are you?" its melodic voice said. She had moon white skin, peroxide blonde hair and pitch black eyes. She smiled and a set of perfectly white, sharp teeth exposed themselves. My heart was pounding in my ears as I thought of every possible way I could save Mirala. In a split second, I was thrown against a tree and Mirala was screaming.
"RUN LASH! JUST RUN!" she screamed. I wasn't thinking straight. I ran when I should've stayed and fought. I was so disoriented. I didn't realize what I'd done until it was too late to go back.
I woke in a cold sweat. Another nightmare. Why didn't I fight? Why did I run? Why wasn't it me? Why? Just why?
THESE SECRETS WILL KILL US
SO GET ON YOUR KNEES
AND PRAY FOR FORGIVNESS!
How could she ever forgive me for what I did? I wouldn't. I'd hate me for eternity. She wasn't like that. No matter how badly I messed up, she would forgive me.
"You don't deserve it."
"Why are you still here?"
"Just end it Lash. You'll rot in hell anyway. Just do it."
I wanted to. I wanted to listen so badly but something kept me from doing so. I don't understand why but I just couldn't.
I got up from my bed and put on a plain black t-shirt, some jeans, and some all black converse before heading out the door and walking the few blocks to the Maxville church.
We all carry these things
Inside that no one else can see
They hold us down like anchors
They drown us out at sea
I simply sit outside the steps and think. I think about her. Only her. The first time we met, her laugh, her smile, the first time I held her hand on our first date, our first kiss, our many arguments that now seem so trivial, our first time. She was my love, my everything, I honestly didn't see why I should live anymore.
That voice, her voice, it echoed in my head. I closed my eyes and smiled the first real smile since her death. It was only a shadow of its beauty but still beautiful none the less.
"I love you Lash. Please remember that."
And I always will. There will never be another like her for me. She could never be replaced. My angel, my heart and soul, she was always here. She will be with me. Always.
"Always." she echoed.
It starts to drizzle lightly and I look up. If there is a god, he must've needed her more than I did. I've never been one for religion but she must be a seraphim, the highest rank. That was Mirala.
I look up to the skies
There may be nothing there to see
But if I don't believe in him
Why would he believe in me?