Disclaimer: I do not own Leverage, nor do I own "I Never" though I do enjoy putting them together.
Author's Note: This is the first in hopefully a series of drabbles. This is a little more dialogue heavy than I normally write but it worked for this case. Enjoy!
They were between jobs, and they were bored. Parker sat on the ground leaned up against the couch, Hardison was on the couch, Nate was in the chair, Elliot was leaned up against the wall and Sophie was sitting, cross-legged on the table.
"I have an idea!" Parker jumped up and rushed to the refrigerator where a six-pack sat on the bottom shelf, "I heard about it back in college, it's a drinking game."
"You went to college?" Elliot scoffed, "Majoring in what, Thieving 101?"
Parker stuck her tongue out at him as she passed out the beers to everyone else, "No, I was breaking into the geology exhibit at UCLA, they were showing some very expensive and shiny rocks. I just so happened to end up in the dormitories through a wrong turn in the ventilation."
Nate rubbed the bridge of his nose, "What drinking game, Parker."
Everyone rolled their eyes. "Parker, you do realize how jacked up that game would be with us playing," Hardison laughed as he passed around a bottle opener. "Do you even know how to play?"
Parker sat down and took the bottle opener, popping the cap off and tossing the tool to Elliot, "No, but it looked fun."
Nate raised his hand as he took the opener from Elliot, "I'll start, Parker." Everyone looked at him in awe that the oldest of them had even heard of the game. "Hm, let's see, I've never robbed a bank."
The entire team took a drink. "That was too easy!"
"Fine, Elliot, you go."
Elliot grinned, "I never robbed a bank naked."
Parker took a drink and Hardison, sheepishly, followed, "Hey, I was in between torrents! Don't judge me for what I do in my down time, I assure you it is much better than what Elliot does in front of the computer naked."
"You're walking a fine line, Tech Support!" Elliot threatened.
"Boys!" Sophie threw a remote at Hardison, when he made to protest she said, "That was for the visual you just gave me, not for the fighting." She took a deep breath, "I've never paid for a prostitute." It was the first thing that had come to mind.
Nate, Elliot, and Parker drank.
"Maggie and I were broken up at the time," Nate shrugged. No one had put it past Elliot . . . and no one asked Parker but she shrugged when they looked at her.
"My turn!" Parker bounced up onto her heels, "I've never . . ." Parker hesitated, "leapt backwards out of an airplane while . . . dressed as a gorilla."
Everyone stared at her.
A few moments of thought later and Parker took a sip.
Elliot was the first to speak, "Parker, the point of 'I Never' is to have actually never done the thing that you say that you've never done."
Parker threw her legs out in front of her, "Well, Elliot," she sounded like a sixth grader talking back to the teacher, "there isn't much that I haven't done."
Hardison raised an eyebrow, "How about something normal . . ."
The thief gave this a moment of thought before her eyes widened, "I got it! I've never used a public restroom!"
Everyone but Elliot and she took a drink.
"What?" Elliot was not amused to find the team staring at him, "Do you know the kind of stuff goes on in there?" Realization, "Damnit," he took a drink.
Now it was Hardison's turn and he didn't have to think long, "I've never banged my waitress in the public bathroom at Salt Grass."
"Not fair Hardison! You can't be that specific!" Elliot said this through the mouth of his beer. "It's targeting."
Sophie's eyes were the widest, "So that's where you went!"
Parker was beginning to enjoy this, "Nate, it's your turn!"
"I've never . . . slept with Elliot," he shrugged, that had been the first thing that had come to mind in light of the present situation.
Parker shot Elliot a doe-in-the-headlights look, "We can't lie during the game!"
"I'm out," Hardison threw his hands in the air and stalked out of the room, leaving his half-empty bottle on the floor.
"Completely disregarding that out-of-the-blue information," it was Sophie's turn and she wanted to change the subject, "I've never slept with a woman."
Nate and Elliot took a sip.
Parker took a long drink.
"Damnit Parker, is there anything you haven't done!?"
Elliot grinned, "That's hott."
Author's Note: Hoped you enjoyed it. It came into my head and wouldn't leave! Suggestions would be welcome. If you want it more than a one-shot review and let me know. If no one likes my drabbles then I will be sad and not want to continue. TOOTLES!