AN: So this is a story i wrote for a friend of mine :] she wanted a Troy/Jimmie so here you go love :]
The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New
If it makes you less sad
I will die by your hand.
I hope to find out what you want,
I already know what I am.
It started when Gabriella broke up with me for the billionth time. I wasn't going to crawl after her this time. I was done. I tried to have something with Sharpay but she lost interest. Not that I blame her. I decided to do something different. I was still close to East High, and I remembered Jimmie 'The Rocketman' Zara. Who could forget him? But I always knew he liked me. Not in the friendly way.
I guess I had an attraction to him too. But I had Gabriella, I loved her no matter how many times she broke my heart, I loved her and I would've take her back in a heartbeat. Now that she's not here though, I'm free to make him mine.
"Troy?" he said. He seemed surprised that I had come back to East High.
"Get in." I smiled and he did so without question.
"So what's up?" he asked.
"Um, nothing. Gabriella and I broke up and I have a new apartment out here. What about you? You're a junior now right?"
"Yeah, Tiara and I dated for a while but she was just too… I don't know, pushy I guess. Sharpay and I hooked up once but I think it was to get to Tiara, seeing her enemy with her ex sort of thing." he said. I was surprised, looks like Jimmie wasn't as innocent as I had thought.
"Well, I think you deserve better." I smiled as I parked the car in front of my apartment.
"Like who?" he asked as I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, smiling lightly as he responded by deepening the kiss.
Three months later Gabriella wanted me back. I had been with Jimmie in secret and I really cared about him. So much it scared me, but I loved Gabriella so I chose her.
I didn't know how wrong that decision was. I would be with her and thinking of him. He hated me, he told me never to speak to him again, to forget he existed.
And here I stand, outside of his window, hoping to God that he'll talk to me after 2 years.
And if it makes you less sad we'll start talking again.
You can tell me how vile,
I already know that I am.
"Troy? What the hell are you doing here?" he asked angrily as I climbed through the frame into his room.
"I came to talk to you." I said.
"Why? Did your precious Gabriella dump you again?" the way he said her name, with so much hatred made me think that he probably thought of me the same way he did her.
"No, I dumped her. Jimmie, I couldn't forget you. I was with her and every moment I thought of you. I love you Jimmie, I realize that now." I tried.
"And I loved you. But you're two years too late Troy. Do you have any idea the damage you did? Do you? No, you're thinking I'll just get back with you but I won't Troy. I'm not that naïve." Loved?"
"Loved? So you don't love me?" I asked, hurt.
"You were gone for two years Troy, I didn't think you'd come back."
I'll grow old, start acting my age.
I'll be a brand new day
In a life that you hate.
"But I did, Jimmie, I did. Please just, just give me a chance. Give me a chance to prove I love you."
"You hurt me Troy." he said without conviction. I moved closer to him and hugged him. His arms stayed at his sides but he didn't push me away.
"I'm so sorry Jimmie. I'm sorry." I mumbled into his hair.
"Troy, just give me time. I, my life was so good until now. Troy please, please leave." he said.
"You don't want me to. Look me in the eyes and say you want me to leave." I fought, holding him at arms length, forcing him to look at me.
"I… I can't." he looked down. I put my hand under his chin a lifted his face.
"Give me a chance to prove I love you." I whispered before hesitantly pressing my lips to his. He pressed slightly before pulling back.
"Please, give me time." he said looking down. I nodded and turned to leave through his window again. "Come back tomorrow.. During daytime."
A crown of gold,
A heart that's harder than stone,
And it hurts a whole lot,
But it's missed when it's gone.
We sat in a coffee shop down the street of his apartment. It was silent as he picked at his bagel and stared into his coffee.
"So.. What's new?" I asked, wincing at how stupid the question was.
"Huh? Oh uh, nothing much. I'm taking a year off and going to Julliard next year. I have to do the audition process again but the scout said I pretty much had a guaranteed spot." he said, refusing to look me in the eyes.
"Julliard? That's amazing Jimmie." I said and he nodded.
"I'm taking classes at the U of A. Nothing special but I enjoy it." I said.
"That's good. That your enjoying yourself I mean."
"Look, Jimmie… I truly am sorry. I didn't think I would end up caring about you as much as I do. Loving you as much as I do. I tried, I tried to forget you like you told me to but I couldn't. I would kiss her, make love to her and I'd be disgusted with myself because it felt wrong. You grew up Jimmie.. I understand that.."
"I knew you would get back with her. I just hoped that you wouldn't. I tried to move on.. I even dated Tiara again, hoping that I would grow to love her as much as I did you but I knew it was useless." he said and I looked down, ashamed.
"And you know the difference between me and you?" it was rhetorical and I knew it so I waited for him to say it. "I broke up with her before she had the chance to really like me. I broke up with her because I didn't want to hurt her like you did me." he said angrily before getting up and storming out.
Call me a safe bet
But I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive, I'm only hoping as time goes that you can forget.
"Jimmie, Jimmie please talk to me… Jimmie I know you hate me but please open the door." I was begging. I was begging with Jimmie "The Rocketman" Zara.
The door creaked open and he let me in.
"Troy, I forgave you. Two years ago I knew you loved her. I didn't want to stand in the way. I knew you would choose her. And I told you to forget me because I thought it would be easy to move on. I'm angry because all these feelings came back and I don't want them to. I want to hate you but I can't Troy. I can't" he looked close to tears and I wanted to hug him but something told me that wouldn't be a good idea.
If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of this state.
You can keep to yourself,
I'll keep out of your way.
"Jimmie, I'll do anything you want. I'll move away. I'll stay far away if that's what you want." and I would. I would do whatever made him happy.
"I, I…. God Troy I don't know! I don't know what I want." he said before looking at me. We made eye contact and I refused to look away. He walked towards me and I could see his eyes glisten with unshed tears.
He lifted his hands and cupped my face before bending down and kissing me lightly. I pressed slightly, not wanting to push his limits. He pressed harder, angrier, and moved so there was no space between us. My hands rested on his hips and gripped him tightly as if he was my lifeline.
And if it makes you less sad
I'll take all your pictures down
Every picture you paint,
I will paint myself out
He pulled away and we were both breathing heavily. My breath mingled with his and it felt…. right.
"I'll leave if you want me to. You can forget I ever existed." I said.
"No." he breathed.
"No, it's impossible to forget you." he clarified, still not moved from the spot we seemed to be rooted to.
"Do you want me to leave?" I asked. He stayed quiet before leaning in and capturing my lips again.
One of his hands tangled itself in my hair and the other went to them hem of my shirt. He lifted it up to my chest before I pulled away and let him take it off and I do the same to him. His fingers trace my stomach like a blind person reading brail. He knew which spot to touch at every moment.
It's cold as a tomb and its dark in your room
When I sneak to your bed
To pour salt on your wounds,
"Oh god do that again." he moans as I move inside him. We move in the rhythm that is entirely our own. Our own song.
"Fuck, Jimmie you're so damn tight." I groan. The feeling of him around me is like no other. I hadn't felt this good in two years.
"Oh… oh god! Fucking Christ Troy! I-I-I'm so close!" he said as he came over our stomachs. The feeling of him clenching around me as he orgasmed brought me over the edge and I came inside him.
So call it quits or get a grip
You say you wanted a solution
But you just wanted to be missed
We woke up later that night and he was looking out the window wearing his boxers and gym shorts low on his hips. I came up and wrapped my arms around his waist as I kissed his shoulder.
"So what's this mean?" I asked.
"I'm not sure yet. I mean, it was great and… I love you. You know that. But how do I know you won't go back to her?" he turned. His face was so close to mine and I took the opportunity to place a chaste kiss on his soft lips.
"Jimmie, I'm here, and I'm here to stay. You're not getting rid of me so easily." I say, my lips brushing softly against his with every word.
"Troy, I don't know." he looks down and my heart drops.
"You seemed to know about a few hours ago." I say angrily as I walk to the other side of the room and put on my boxers and pants.
You are calm and reposed
It lets your beauty unfold
Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones.
Spring keeps you ever close
"Troy.." he trails off.
"What game are you playing Rocketman? I'm here, trying to prove I love you and you're not sure?" I say.
"Look at it from my point of view. You came to me, you left me for her, two years later you come back expecting everything to be fine. I was caught off guard. My life was planned without you already but now it's different. Everything changed in a day." he said. I looked at him and took in his toned, lean torso. His pale, flawless skin almost shined in the moonlight like an angel. His kiss bruised lips and his side swept brown hair over his wonderfully brown eyes.
His eye were filled with confusion, anger, lust, love. How could I be so stupid? This wasn't only affecting me but him as well.
You are second hand smoke
You are so fragile and thin
Standing trial for your sins
He didn't deserve me, the train wreck that I was. He deserved so much better. Not me. But he was just as dangerous as I was. Something told me that we were meant to be. If he didn't want me, he would be with someone who cared more for him then he would them.
I was the cigarette that hurt him, but he was the smoke a non-smoker breathed in and he was just as bad. He didn't deserve this though. This life I gave to him with that first kiss. Either way, he was damned to a life he did nothing to deserve.
I was surprised, he was so young and already paying for his and my sins. What kind of person was I? was I even a person? Or was I a monster for doing this to someone so young?
Holding onto yourself the best you can
You are the smell before rain
You are the blood in my veins
"I don't want you to leave but I need time to adjust." he said. Those words sealed it. He cried that night, we both did. Tears of anger, sadness, joy. Everything was laid out on the table.
That was three years ago. Jimmie is 22 now and I'm 24. I can truly say that he is my other half. The love of my life, the air to my lungs, and the blood in my veins. It was 2013 and gay marriage had been legalized in Arizona.
"Do you, James Thomas Zara, take Troy Anthony Bolton as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, through sickness and health, for poorer or for richer, till death do you part?" asked the minister. My angel looked at me with a smile on his lips and in his eyes before answering.
"I do." he smiled and I smiled back as the minister turned to me.
"And do you, Troy Anthony Bolton, take James Thomas Zara as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, through sickness and health, for poorer of for richer, till death do you part?" I looked at my angel with a beaming smile and answered.
"By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you, husband and husband. You may now kiss." he smiled as I cupped my love's face and planted a kiss on his lips.
"I love you Troy." he smiled.
"I love you too Rocketman." I laughed at the face he made to his old nickname and kissed his nose.
An:REVIEW PLEASE :]