A.N.: A silly little oneshot trying to be funny I wrote when I was feeling particularly uninspired to work on Little wooden men.

This was inspired by a comment I've read in some fanfiction or other and a picture I saw on DeviantArt. I should probably give credit to their authors, but I don't know their names and I've completely forgotten what story it was and what the picture was named. I should probably stop this rant before it becomes longer than the actual story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I say it in every story, every chapter. People should really get the hint by now.

The truth about the four-tails incident

One thing that was constant throughout the life of Jiraiya of the Sannin was his unhealthy obsession with female beauty. It had gotten him in trouble countless times, but he always claimed that being chased by mobs of angry wet, towel-clad women who noticed him peeping (correction, researching) was half of the fun. Their towels tended to slide from time to time.

Aside from those humorous occasions, there were more serious ones when it was Tsunade who caught him once nearly causing the Toad Sage's untimely demise. But even that wasn't enough to deter him, once he got out of the ICU he claimed it was worth it and went off researching again.

And because Jiraiya is truly incorrigible, it led to the second occasion when his perversion nearly cost his life.

"Are you sure this is a chakra control exercise, Ero-Sennin?" Naruto's voice was dubious. Aside from that, the other remarkable thing about the blond jinchuuriki voice was that it was distinctively female. It was because Naruto was currently in his Oiroke no Jutsu form, shiny blond ponytails flying around his (her?) head, the fluffy clouds of smoke usually covering his (her?) assets blown away by the currents of wind caused by the Rasengan (s)he was holding in his (her) hand.

"Of course, Naruto," answered the self-proclaimed super-pervert with a straight face. "The effort of combining your Henge with Water-walking and Rasengan will teach you how to split your concentration between numerous tasks for prolonged periods of time."

"If you say so, Ero-Sennin," Naruto shrugged doubtfully. It made the water ripple and (s)he had a hard time maintaining his (her) balance on the moving surface, but (s)he managed after some wild arm flailing. Her arms weren't the only body parts flailing around, as the white-haired ninja noted. Before Naruto completely steadied him(her)self, there was a flash of light.

"What was that," shouted Naruto. His (her) eyes narrowed angrily when (s)he spotted his(her) teacher holding a camera.

"Oh, thank you, Naruto," the porn writer said with stars in his eyes, "This would be excellent cover for the next Icha-Icha book."

Can anyone fault Naruto for going four-tails on him?

Even though the camera with the pictures was irreparably damaged by Kyuubi's chakra, Jiraiya is still convinced it was worth it.