Disclaimer: Any recognizable Twilight characters and ideas are property of Stephenie Meyer. I am not profiting from the distribution of this story. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Notes: Welcome back! Thank you to everyone who read the prologue. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the reviews.

A few huge thank yous are in order for the lovely ladies behind the scenes. Thanks to JenCat for fixing my awkwardness pre-submission and yoda5683 for helping me continue to find Charlie's voice. And of course, many thanks to Wendy Ann for being my super-awesome validation beta. You ladies rock!

Now onto chapter one! Just as a reminder, this is a sequel to my one-shot, Look After You. Reading it first is recommended!

Chapter 1 – Letters to Whoever

Charlie POV - March 2011

Nothing. I'd been staring at the sheet of lined paper in front of me for about half an hour, but I couldn't get past the first two words. Writing the greeting had seemed easy enough.

"Dear Alice,"

But then there was nothing…just a load of nothing.

I tossed the pen down on the kitchen table for the fifth time. This was getting really annoying. My pen had left over two dozen black dots where I had brought it down to the paper to write something, anything, but in the end had thought better of it. At this rate, I wouldn't ever have anything to send to that damn PO box.

With a scowl, I realized that on top of having nothing to say, the damn dots all clumped together on the paper weren't even indented. Well I sure as hell wasn't going to send a letter to them this way. It looked like crap.

I crumbled up the junky paper and whipped it at the trashcan. It ricocheted off the wall and dropped into the garbage. A swig of Vitamin R and new sheet of paper later, I was trying again.

"Dear Alice,"

But then there I was—back at square one. I was probably having trouble explaining all this because I knew Alice was going to think I'd gone completely nuts when she read whatever I finally decided to say. Honestly, would she be wrong? I was writing to Alice about a letter I'd gotten from some old coot, about how he'd told methat her sister-in-law—whose accident scene she'd been the one to find—hadn't really…hadn't really died. For God's sake, I grew up alongside Billy. I knew the Quileutes had all sorts of weird legends and quirks, but even I thought this was all a little bit out there. What the hell was Alice supposed to think?

A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. Alice would probably think I was ready for the loony bin, but she'd humor me, anyway. That's just what Alice did.

It felt like I hadn't talked to her in ages. Alice would have to be about twenty-three or twenty-four by now. Had she graduated from college, yet? Did she already have a successful job working for a New York City fashion designer?

Whatever she was up to, I knew she had to be living life to the fullest, as usual. Doing things that my Bella never got the chance to do. It was that thought that got me wondering whether dumping this on a young woman's shoulders was the right thing to do.

Dragging her into this mess probably wasn't fair. Alice had been so close to Edward and…and Bella. If time had helped her move on, who the hell was I to come thundering into her life with a letter claiming that her best friend was out there somewhere? I couldn't do that to her. Not after everything she'd done for me. For my family.

On the other hand, when it came to Alice, I never knew quite what to expect. She was a tough little cookie, that one. Even as she balanced her own grief with completing her first year at college, Alice had always put me first when we talked on the phone every month. She had always been such a sweetheart…

January 2007

Frozen rain pelted loudly against the front windows in waves—over and over again. Holy shit, that was obnoxious. I reached blindly for the remote in the dark living room. A man can't hear the damn TV with that racket all night.

Before the rain had frozen and started bugging the crap outta me, I'd had every intention of getting up to scrounge around in the kitchen for something to eat. Realizing that making dinner would require moving I'd decided against it. Sitting and sulking about the weather sounded much more doable than dragging my ass off the recliner long enough to find something.

I hadn't slept much last night. Like usual, I had too much going on in my head to stop thinking. Not for the first time, I had actually found myself wishing to hear those terrible screams again coming from her room – the ones I used to hear every night. Was that just a year ago? Maybe wishing for that didn't make me much of a father, but I'd rather have the screaming and have her here than…this. This was almost unbearable.

The phone rang and jerked me out of my thoughts. I glanced at the caller ID and felt the corner of my mouth twitch. Alice Cell.

I picked up the phone and hit the answer button. Before I could say anything, a bright voice on the other end shouted, "Hi, Charlie! It's Alice!"

A real smile cracked its way onto my face. "Hey, Alice. Good to hear from you so soon."

Alice had been calling to check in around the end of every month. The last time I had heard from her was on Christmas Day. I hadn't expected to get another call until closer to February. Whatever her reason for giving me a call after only a couple of weeks, I was damn thankful for it.

"Yeah, well I have some downtime here at the house. Our second semester starts on Monday, so we all spent one of our last days of freedom messing around in the snow together. The weather was absolutely perfect for it, just like I knew it would be."

My head spun as Alice took a moment to come up for air. It was easy to talk with her; her mile-a-minute conversation left me too dizzy to think about anything else but keeping up.

After sighing softly, Alice changed the subject on me. "How are you doing, Charlie?"

There was that question again. I couldn't stand that damn question. No one in this entire town could start a conversation with me without it. "Chief Swan, how are you?" or "Charlie, how are you holding up?"

I usually tried not to get too upset about it. I know some folks around here really did care. But the fact of the matter was…answering honestly to the busy-body citizens of Forks would just be fanning the gossip in town. The last thing I wanted was for the Swans to be fodder for the gossip mill again. We'd already been down that road plenty of times.

Always one step ahead of me, Alice had already sensed my discomfort about her original question and tried again, "I mean, how's work? Life in Forks as exciting as ever?"

"Heh, yeah. Same old, same old. Couple bad accidents now with all the snow we've been gettin'. And I caught a bunch of sophomores smoking pot behind the gym at the high school a few nights back. Damn slackers."

I immediately felt my cheeks flush as I swore. I tried not to do that around anyone her age. Not that Alice was really a kid anymore, but it still...

Before I could apologize, Alice replied, "I'm not surprised that's where you found them. There were always rumors about that being the spot to go get high." She giggled and added, "Not that I hung out back there or anything. The smell – yuck!"

Picturing Alice's face turned up just remembering the pot's smell made me answer her laugh. "Yeah, well, their little spots come and go, you know? They'll just find a new place, now. Keeps it interesting for me."

Alice didn't respond right away. Instead, she sighed kind of dramatically. Damn it. I knew where this was heading. Sure enough, Alice asked, "And what about food? Have you been eating, Charlie?"

And here came the battery of questions. We went through this same routine at some point every time we talked. Alice had taken it into her own hands to make sure I was looking after myself. "Yeah, sure."

"Not garbage, right? Actual food? You've been cooking something for yourself?"

I shook my head. She was definitely being persistent tonight. "Yes, Alice."

"Cereal doesn't count, either, Charlie. Whole meals? I know you love your pizza, but you need to eat some protein and veggies once and a while. Sausage and mushrooms on a large thin crust aren't exactly part of balanced diet."

My heart clenched. Alice sounded exactly like someone else who used to obsess over what I was and wasn't eating. "You're reminding me of her tonight, Alice."

There was a brief pause on Alice's end. When she spoke again, there was a weird tone in her voice that I couldn't quite identify. "I just think she'd want to know you were taking care of yourself, Charlie. It's all I can do for her, now."

I wouldn't argue that. She'd always put others' needs way in front of hers.

"And what about Sue Clearwater? Are the two of you still…hanging out?"

Alice wasn't fooling me tonight. I'd caught the hesitation in her voice when she asked about Sue. Even with everything that had happened recently, Alice was still a little matchmaker. She had been hell bent on me visiting Sue and found time whenever we talked to give me tips about how to win her over.

As much as Alice may have wanted it to work out, my relationship with Sue was complicated at best lately. There was something between us. I know there was. Even with my shit for confidence around the ladies, I could pick up on sparks that big. Before the kids' wedding, I really saw something happening with us. But then so much happened afterwards, and our friendship grew more and more strained as the months ticked by.

Now every time Sue sees me, her guilt is pretty blatant all over her face. I get that she might be feeling awkward being around me since she still has Leah and Seth. I just wish she'd understand that I don't hold her kids against her. I wouldn't wish this hell on anyone, let alone someone I cared about.

I fidgeted with the chain around my wrist before finally answering Alice, "Uh, to be honest with you, we haven't really seen much of each other. And things are still pretty weird down at the Rez."

"Hmm," Alice replied quietly. "How so?"

I shrugged. "I still don't think people know how to respond to me, yet."

Alice started to say something back, but I wasn't really listening. What I had told her wasn't completely true. They responded to me down at La Push, all right. I just didn't have a damn clue what those responses meant. Sue's guilt made her avoid me like the plague, now. I swear to God she tucked tail and took off in the other direction one day last week. At the same time, Jake refused to make eye contact with me, and the rest of that pack of kids gave me the strangest looks every time I saw them.

Billy was the only one of 'em who'd stayed mostly sane and tried not to bring her up. He and I had gotten through a lot of tough shit in our day by just moving forward. Still, normal as Billy was acting, even he had moments when he'd stop and shake his head at me when he thought I wasn't looking. I think he'd long since figured out I wasn't moving forward or anywhere else this time.

"-they will, but I'm still sorry to hear that," Alice finished.

Shit. I'd missed most of what she'd just said. Gotta work on that paying attention thing. Normal folks did that, right? Paid attention? "Yeah, well I'm used to it, Alice. I'm sure Carlisle and Esme understand how it goes." I added in a smaller voice, "And you, too, of course."

Another pause. "Well, most people out here don't know about everything that happened. We don't really talk about it outside the family…"

Alice seemed quiet. I hated when that happened. When someone as joyful as her was sad, it dragged the whole damn planet down with her. But I should have expected this. Alice always got this way when they came up in the conversation.

Finally, Alice said, "Just try to remember what all of us here try to: we're still a family. No matter what. Edward and Bella-"

I cringed.

"- will always be a part of it, wherever they are."

Alice said something under her breath, but it was too quiet for me to catch. I was about to ask her to repeat herself when she continued in a stronger voice, "They were both lucky to know how much we loved them."

I didn't say anything in response. My chest had tightened painfully, just as it usually did when I spent too much time dwelling on her absence.

Alice sensed I had hit my wall, again. After a heaving sigh, she said, "Now, tell me more about that famous Forks drug raid, and then I have to tell you what Emmett did to Carlisle with a snowman this afternoon…"

During every phone call until they'd come to a stop, Alice tried her best to put on a smile for me. It didn't feel right for me to go to her now with this letter. There was no way I could put Alice through that kinda hell if Billy wasn't actually on to something after all.

I wadded up another paper basketball and watched it arc perfectly this time into the trash. "March Madness, here I come," I mumbled as I grabbed a new sheet of paper.

"Dear Cullen Family,"

I laughed. That just sounded stupid. I fired it towards the trash and grimaced. Well, two outta three ain't bad.

"Dear Dr. and Mrs. Cullen,"

Good Lord. Hadn't our kids been…They'd been married, for God's sake. When was the last time I'd even called Carlisle, "Dr. Cullen?"

I watched as the newest paper ball didn't make it in to the trash, either. Two out of four baskets definitely wasn't as good as two out of three. Yikes, I was rustier than I thought. When the hell was the last time I got out to shoot some real hoops, anyway?

"Dear Carlisle and Esme,"

Then nothing. Again. Nothing. What the hell could I say to these people? I had to figure out something that didn't make me seem like a complete idiot. My pen did its dot-dance a few more times as I tried to think of what to write. At least the stupid dots were indented this time.

But I was starting to feel another paper basketball coming on as I regretted writing Carlisle and Esme's names down. That one just wasn't going to work. I was quickly figuring out that I had nothing to say to them. Carlisle and Esme were every bit as devastated as me. The last thing they needed was my meddling.

My pen once again slammed hard onto the tabletop, victim of my frustration. This time it bounced off the wood and clattered to the ground. Shit.

I leaned back in my chair and took another swig of beer. Why was this so difficult to write? It was just a stupid letter, after all. But that was the thing. It wasn't just any letter, and I suddenly found myself back to questioning whether I should write them at all.

Was it abusing the only way I had left of contacting the Cullens? That could be what was making finding right way to begin so damned difficult in the first place—a part of me just wasn't totally on board with this.

The fact was, I didn't know anything, yet. And who was to say the Cullens did? Maybe they really were just weird out-of-towners that a superstitious old man had pegged wrong. Besides, Billy hadn't mentioned anything about Edward in the letter. In the end, would this really be worth upsetting two more grieving parents when I didn't have anything but Billy's letter to back me up?

"God damn it, anyway, Billy," I muttered as I ran my fingers through my tangled hair.

I was a little pissed off that Billy had put this on my shoulders. This would have been so much easier if he could have wheeled his sorry ass over here before he got sick and just told me what he knew. We could have worked on this together with all the puzzle pieces in front of us. Instead, he'd pulled his cryptic Quileute crap on me. On me.

Billy's voice interrupted my tirade and mumbled quietly from his hospice bed, "And you, Charlie. I hope that you can forgive me, too."

And I would. I knew I would eventually be able to do that for him. Billy was a superstitious fool, it's true, but he didn't talk outta his ass. If he had kept this from me, it was for a damn good reason.

Carlisle's glare at the funeral played out again in my memory, and something told me that it could have been one of Billy's damn good reasons. I had seen that look. Nice family or not, I wasn't making up that little exchange. Carlisle had been warning Jacob to not…what? Do something? Say something? Maybe that was why Billy had been afraid to tell me the truth…whatever the truth was.

Honestly, it was difficult to believe Billy had been scared of anything. But if one thing made him nervous, it was my daughter's in-laws.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath.

Okay, so maybe I was coming at this from the wrong angle. If…if the Cullens knew something more about Bella's… death, would Carlisle really be the one to tell me? Or Esme, his wife? Doubtful.

The big one…what's-his-name? The one who looked like he could eat a horse in one sitting? Very unsettling kid with all those muscles. Probably dumb as rocks. The two blonde ones were completely out of the question. Neither of them had ever smiled at me when they were here in Forks, so I doubted they'd have want to help me now.

That left only one Cullen. I wished there was another option, but she was the one I was fairly certain I could talk into helping me – the sweet, pint-sized Cullen family gossip. Alice.

If there was ever a time Alice's knowing everything about everyone else's business would be useful, it would be now. Besides I got the impression that she'd been the one to leave me the PO box number in the first place. Time for debating about whether or not this was an "emergency" was over. This would have to be emergency enough for them.

Telling myself this was the last time, I grabbed a new sheet of paper and began, "Dear Alice,"

If this was going to work, I'd have to appeal to her curiosity. I needed to pique her interest just enough to get her to call. I continued, "This is Charlie Swan."

For a moment, I drew another blank. Damn writer's block. God, this would have been so much easier if Alice were still here in Forks. Maybe crazy wouldn't seem so bad if I could have said it to her face instead of putting in on paper like this.

All the reasons I'd originally stopped addressing this letter to Alice came rushing to the front of my mind. I fought them back and willed the words to keep coming out of tip of my pen. Maybe it wasn't fair of me to go to Alice, but damn it all if she wasn't my only realistic way to get the Cullens' attention. I had to do this, and it had to be her.

"You gave me this PO box number about two and a half years ago, now. I don't know if this is an emergency exactly, but something has come up. I need to talk to you as soon as possible. It's about-"

My pen dropped from my fingers, unwilling to write this next part. I had stopped myself just before writing Edward's name across the paper. Self-righteous, smart ass, and madly in love with my girl – was he out there somewhere, too?

Billy's letter didn't mention her husband, and I didn't want to fan anymore false hopes than I already would be. I decided I had to leave Edward's name out of this for now. Instead, I took another swig of beer for courage and finished my sentence with simply,"- Bella."

Still holding my pen for dear life, I let one finger run across her name just like I'd done over and over again since she'd died. My baby.

My vision blurred a little around the edges. I had to wrap this damn thing up while I could still see clearly.

"Please contact me as soon as you can, Alice. This is important. Sincerely, Charlie Swan"

Before I could lose my nerve, I quickly folded the letter and jammed it into the envelope that had been waiting patiently on the table for hours. I slowed down long enough to make sure I was addressing it right. Wouldn't it just be a kick in the balls to get this thing back two weeks later with a failed delivery? Of course that could still happen, anyway. There was no way of knowing whether or not the Cullens still held this PO box.

I didn't even bother throwing on a jacket before bolting out the front door. The weather on this March afternoon was sunny and crisp, something you didn't see too often around here. I wondered how long it would hold. Forks had a way of devouring the sunlight eventually, even on the brightest of days.

The letter in my hand made me feel completely awkward as I hurried down the sidewalk towards the mailbox at the end of the street. I felt like I was under a damn spotlight, like everyone was staring at me and knew exactly what I was doing.

But that's ridiculous. No one gives a crap about me mailing a letter.

All I knew is that I wanted this thing the hell away from me. If I didn't act quickly, I had a funny feeling I'd try to go cram it into the already overflowing trashcan in the kitchen.

Finally, I reached the blue mailbox on the corner. I opened it and stared.

And stared.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't. The Cullens were going to think I'd gone completely crazy. And who was to say I hadn't? What the hell was going on with me? One minute I painted them as villains with handlebar moustaches, and the next I remembered the whole family as I had known them – kind, compassionate, and wild about my daughter. This flip-flopping from one mindset to another was more than a little manic, and it was starting to freak me out.

The sound of the mailbox door clanging shut pulled me out of my little episode and brought my attention back to the present. I looked at my hands, and then at the mailbox. Then back down to my hands…my empty hands.

Holy shit. I think I just mailed it.

And I had. If that wasn't proof that I was losing my mind, I didn't know what was. I took a slow step back from the mailbox. Any minute now I expected a tongue to shoot out from the little door and blow a raspberry at me. Stupid mailbox.

At least it was over. It was quite literally out of my hands, now. Whoever tended to the PO box in Alaska would receive my letter within about a week's time. All I could do on this end was wait.

With a sigh of relief, I turned back towards the house. I'd reestablished communication with the Cullens, and now I had to go see if I still had any friends down at the Rez. Rachel had said the boys had been acting a bit wonky about Billy's letter. I needed to talk to her right away. She knew more than she had let on at the house yesterday. The whole lot of them seemed to know more than they let on.

I really wished I could wrestle some answers out of Jake about his father's letter, but the trick would be tracking him down, first. If there were one thing I'd learned from his two-month walkabout this summer, if Jake didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.

A/N: Whew! That one was hard to get out! Thanks to all my readers for checking this story out and giving it a chance. Please take a moment and review, even if it's just to say you enjoyed it. It's always appreciated!

Coming up next – Chapter 2: Something to Hide