46A.N.: Another little oneshot aspiring to be funny. I can only hope it really is.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I'm not that rich.
ANBU duty
It was midnight. Darkness encompassed the world. The Moon wasn't shining today and the stars were obscured by heavy clouds. The forest was silent, wolves hiding in their dens, the crickets took vacation tonight, only a lone owl hooted in the distance.
Two figures were making their way through the trees slowly. They came to a stop on a completely unremarkable spot. A ray of starlight found its way through the layers of clouds and shined on the white porcelain mask one of the figures was wearing.
"Here," he said.
"Finally," his comrade sighed in relief. Although it couldn't be seen in the dark, he was wearing a mask too.
"Yes," the first man confirmed, "so place it here so we can move to the next location."
"Already? Why the hurry? I thought we had whole night for it," the second man complained.
"Quit your whining, Guinea-pig," the first one scowled, even if nobody could see. "Once you joined the ANBU, you do whatever you're told."
"I didn't sign up for this," Guinea-pig muttered unloading his burden. "And why must I have such a stupid codename?"
"Because the cool ones were already taken."
"No kidding, Hamster." He placed his precious cargo on the assigned spot. "Here, finished."
"Perfect. We can move to the next one." They jumped to the treetops and were on their way.
"Why do we have to do this," Guinea-pig asked after a while.
"Because Gnat got promoted and Flea is on medical leave," Hamster answered.
"No, I meant, why does anybody have to do it? Isn't it carrying timber to the forest?"
"The young today," Hamster rolled his eyes behind his mask. "Let me explain. If you are unexpectedly attacked and cannot block whatever is flying at you, what do you do?"
"Kawarimi, of course," Guinea-pig answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Of course," Hamster sighed. "And what do you exchange yourself with?"
"A log."
"A log," the older man nodded. "Always a log. And what if there weren't any neatly-cut human-sized logs around?"
"But there is always one," the younger man argued.
"Yes. And just how do convenient neatly-cut human-sized logs appear in the middle of a primeval forest?"
Guinea-pig was silent for a moment. "They grow there?"
"Of course not, you moron! And now pick up the logs, there are fifteen more locations we have to place them tonight! Or do you want some poor shinobi end up ambushed without anything to exchange himself with?"
A.N.: Did you ever find it strange that there always is a handy log for a Kawarimi in the manga? And how can so many ANBU have different masks and codenames?