37Sheik is a girl in this fic, I don't own any characters apart from myself (JJ Dragon), Liara and Etha. I'm not trying to copy any body else's truth or dare.
EPISODE 1
JJ: hello! And welcome to truth or dare: legend of Zelda style! I'm JJ Dragon ad this is my OC assistant, Liara!
Liara: HI! Now, let's get on with the-
JJ: *Cough Cough* Ahem. I believe I say that!
Liara: Yes. Right. Sorry.
JJ: Good. Now, lets get on with the dares! Link, make out with Navi or Sheik gets to kick the crap outta both of you!
Navi: I'd rather be killed by Sheik…
Link: I find that offensive!
Navi: So you should! *Navi and Link start fighting*
Sheik: Can I kill them now?
JJ: Wait…5...4...3...ah screw it. Just kill them.*Sheik starts killing Link and Navi, brutally*
Liara: Shouldn't we do a time skip? The violence might be… err… disturbing…
JJ: Um… *Sees Sheik's horrid method of killing* Sure…
*ONE MASSACRE AND REVIVING SESSION LATER…*
JJ: Next dare! Ganondorf must take down the pit of doom monster using only a plastic sword!
Ganondorf: This'll be easy! MWAHAHA! *He is teleported into the pit* Um… Who is the monster?
JJ: An old childhood nightmare, who is VERY faithful to me… *A pikachu with red eyes and fangs jumps onto Ganondorf (A/N: SERIOUSLY! When I was about 5, I had a pikachu toy that said Pika every time you turned the light on! It was freaky!)* Ganondorf… meet Demon Pikachu or DP for short.
Liara: Time skip?
JJ: Nope.
Liara: Why not? *JJ points to a pile of dust that used to be Ganondorf*
JJ: Well, I'd better revive him or I'll get done for massacring a Nintendo character… *revives Ganondorf* OK! Next dare! Ruto… come here…
Ruto: Yeeeeeeessss?
JJ: Sheik… come here…
Sheik: Yes?
JJ: Ok. Sheik… KILL RUTO! Oh and because of the violence and language… I'm forced to use a time skip…
*ONE RUTO MASSACRE LATER… (Sheik lived)*
JJ: NEXT DARE! Hmm… Liara, you have to listen to Jedward: Under pressure for 5 hours!
Liara: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT JEDWARD! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!
JJ: Because you keep making me use time skips! Plus, I'm bored.
*FIVE HOURS LATER…*
Liara: NO MORE! PLEASE! NO MORE! *Throws herself into the pit of doom*
JJ: WOW! Jedward really is powerful! Oh! I need to revive Ruto and Liara. *Revives Ruto and Liara* Ruto… clean my room! *Shoves Ruto into room*
Random person: LOOK OUT! HADES IS TRAMPLING AND KILLING EVERYONE!
Hades (Greek god of the underworld): MWAHAHA!
Link: Is it just me or does Hades' laugh sound a lot like Ganondorf's?
Ganondorf: WHAT?!
Link: Nothing…
JJ: There's only one thing that'll get rid of Hades! *Grabs ipod and sets it to repeat song: Jedward: Under Pressure (Vanilla ice)*
*1 HOUR LATER*
Hades: NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT JE- *Hades disappears in a puff of smoke*
Sheik: That was random. Where'd Link go?
JJ: I got bored and shoved him into the pit of doom to be killed by DP.
Sheik: Awesome.
JJ: I just wanna try something. *Points at Ganondorf* HE'S A WITCH! *Suddenly, witch finders come around the corner and carry Ganondorf away whilst chanting 'WITCH! WITCH! WITCH!* Wow! I can't believe that actually worked!
Midna: This whole truth or dare fic is so screwed up!
JJ: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY FIC?!
Midna: Err…
JJ: *Points at Midna* SHE'S A WITCH! *Witch finders take Midna away* MWAHAHA! *Revives Midna and Ganondorf* Ok! Next dare. Hmm… All of you (excluding myself) must watch titanic without crying! If one of you cry, then you all get thrown into the pit of doom and I'll give DP god powers! *Shoves cast into a cinema.*
*FIVE MINUTES LATER*
Link: *Crying*
JJ: LINK IS CRYING! PIT OF DOOM TIME! *A dagger flies into Link's back*
Sheik: Link, you idiot! Oh… He's dead… Yay!
JJ: DP!
DP: …
Sheik: Please get me out! I'm your second favourite character!
JJ: Good… Point… *Gets Sheik out of pit*
*ONE MASSACRE AND REVIVING LATER…*
JJ: Link, do you really like Zelda or is it all just an act?
Sheik: Think carefully before you say anything.
Link: Why?
Sheik: Just some free advise.
Link: Ok… No. I don't like Zelda.
Sheik: YES! Thankyou god!
JJ: You're welcome.
Link: Actually, I do like Zelda!
Sheik: DIE BITCH! *Chases Link around the room throwing daggers at him*
Liara: That was random. Anyway, Sheik, why do you care about what Link thinks of Zelda?
Sheik: Personal reasons.
JJ: You obviously never played Ocarina of time.
Liara: what's that?
JJ: I'm sick of this. *Points at Liara* SHE'S A WITCH! *Witch finders take Liara away* I just have to phone someone. *Dials number on mobile*
?: Hello?
JJ: Etha… You know you wanted to be my assistant…
? (Etha): yes?
JJ: Come to the studio! You're my new assistant!
Etha: What happened to Liara?
JJ:Many, many horrible things…
Etha: Understandable. *Cuts phone call and arrives*
JJ: Everyone! This is my dark assistant, Etha!
Etha: Hi.
JJ: Now… dares… Etha. You must be locked in a cage until you go mad.
Etha: WHAT?! *JJ shoves her into a cage*
*FIVE HOURS LATER…*
Etha: I give up! You win!
Sheik: Aww! I lost my bet!
JJ: Me too. *Everyone except Link moans*
Link: I won!
Sheik: That's because you wrote down every possible answer!
Midna: Must've cost him a fortune!
JJ: Sheik… Why's there a large pile of money behind you?
Sheik: I don't see any money!
Ganondorf: Well, you don't have eyes on the back of your head.
Etha: Well done Captain Obvious.
Link: Sheik was the one taking in my bets! *Turns to Sheik* You owe me a rupee! *Sheik gives him a rupee*
Etha: GET ME OUT! *Throws a pie at JJ*
JJ: UGH! *Uses god powers to remove pie from face* Where's Liara? I need to massacre her.
Sheik: Liara was burnt at the stake, remember?
JJ: Oh yeah! Who actually let those witch finders in?
Link: Err… You did…
JJ: Oh yeah!
Etha: You're no help to anyone, you know that?
JJ: I'm not meant to be helpful. Neither are you.
DP: Huuuuuunnnnnngggggrrrrryyyyyy….
JJ: Ok. RUTO! COME HERE! *Ruto comes over. JJ throws her into the pit of doom*
DP: YUMMY!
Etha: Can I come out now? *JJ lets Etha out*
JJ: Ok… Dare…
Etha: How about if Ganondorf makes out with RutO?
JJ: Good idea! *Revives Ruto and forces them to make out*
*5 MINUTES LATER…*
JJ: *hands over eyes* Have they stopped yet?
Link: Yes. *Everyone uncovers their eyes*
JJ: Link… Did you cover your eyes?
Link; No.
JJ: OMG! PERVERT! *Points at Link* HE'S A WITCH! *Witch finders come and take Link away8
Etha: That was a little harsh, but who am I to complain?
Sheik: By the way, JJ. Who's your first favourite character.
JJ: Me, because I am god.
Sheik: Sure…
JJ: DO NOT DOUBT MY AWESOMENESS!
Sheik: …
Midna: You suck JJ
JJ: Really? *Throws Midna into the pit of doom where she is eaten by DP*
Etha: You don't like Midna, do you?
JJ: I do like Midna!
Etha: Why do you keep killing her then?
JJ: Because she must be punished.
Etha: Yeah. Right. Sure.
JJ: BE QUIET SLAVE! I mean, assistant.
Etha: …
Sheik: …
Ganondorf: …
Ruto: …
Pizza delivery man: …Err… Pizza's ready… *JJ snatches pizza and shares it with Sheik and Etha*
Link: how come I don't get any?
JJ: I don't like you.
Etha: how did you come back to life?
JJ: I had to revive him.
Etha: Why?
JJ: Because if I didn't, Nintendo and all of Link's fan/stalkers would screw me.
Etha: Sheik, if you were forced to marry someone in this room, who would you marry?
Sheik: Nobody. I'd shoot myself.
JJ: Good answer!
Etha: …
JJ: GEEZ! Will you look at the time! Well, that's it for episode 1 folks. It's goodbye from me, Sheik, Etha, DP and the rest of the dumb-asses!
If anyone has any dares or truths, plz review and tell me!