Gee, Officer Tiny

I, Mutitoon90, do not have the rights to the characters (from 'Crash Bandicoot' and 'Jak and Daxter' games) or the song (from 'West Side Story'); I just remade the song for entertainment purposes only. With that

taken care of, enjoy.


Crunch, imitating Tiny:

Hey you!

Crash:

Who me, Officer Tiny?

Crunch, imitating Tiny:

Yeah you, gimme one good reason for not draggin' ya down the station house, ya punk!

Crash:

Dear kindly Sergeant Tiny, you gotta understand;

It's just our bringin' upin' that gets us out of hand.

Our mothers all are junkies; our fathers all are drunks!

Golly Moses, naturally we're punks!

Dogs:

Gee, Officer Tiny, we're very upset;

We never had the love that every child oughta get.

We ain't no delinquents; we're misunderstood.

Deep down inside us there is good.

Crash:

There is good!

Dogs:

There is good, there is good, there is untapped good, like inside, the worst of us is good!

Crunch, imitating Tiny:

That's a touching good story.

Crash:

Lemme tell it to the world!

Crunch, imitating Tiny:

Just tell it to the judge

Crash:

Dear kindly Judge, your Honor, my parents treat me rough

With all their marijuana. They won't give me a puff;

They didn't wanna have me, but somehow I was had.

Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad!

Daxter, imitating judge:

Right! Officer Tiny, you're really a square!

This boy don't need a judge. He needs an analyst's care;

It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed.

He's psychologically disturbed.

Crash:

I'm disturbed!

Dogs:

We're disturbed, we're disturbed, we're the most disturbed, like we're psychologically disturbed!

Daxter, imitating judge:

Hear ye, hear ye. In the opinion of this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home.

Crash:

Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!

Daxter, imitating judge:

So take him to a headshrinker. You!

Tess:

Who me?

Crash:

My daddy beats my mommy; my mommy clubbers me;

My grandpa is a commie; my grandma pushes tea;

My sister wears a moustache; my brother wears a dress.

Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

Tess, imitating headshrinker:

Yes, Officer Tiny, he shouldn't be here.

This boy don't need a couch; he needs a usefully career.

Society's played him a terrible trick,

And sociologically he's sick.

Crash:

I am sick!

Dogs:

We are sick, we are sick, we are sick, sick, sick, like we're sociologically sick!

Tess, imitating headshrinker:

In my opinion, this child does not need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease.

Crash:

Hey, I got a social disease!

Tess, imitating headshrinker:

So take him to a social worker.

Crash:

Dear kindly social worker, they tell me get a job,

Like be a soda jerker, which means I'd be a slob!

It's not I'm antisocial; I'm only anti-work!

Glory Osky, that's why I'm a jerk.

Keira, imitating social worker:

Eek, Officer Tiny, you've done it again!

This boy don't need a job; he needs a year in the pen!

It ain't just a question of misunderstood;

Deep down inside he's no good!

Crash:

I'm no good!

Dogs:

We're no good, we're no good, we're no earthly good, like the best of us is no damn good!

Pecker:
The trouble is he's lazy.

Coco:

The trouble is he drinks.

Daxter:

The trouble is he's crazy.

Keira:

The trouble is he stinks.

Jak:

The trouble is he's growing.

Tess:

The trouble is he's grown.

Dogs:

Tiny, we've got troubles of our own!

Officer Tiny, we're down on our knees!

Crash:

'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease!

Dogs:

Dear Officer Tiny, what are we to do?

Gee, Officer Tiny, screw you!