Disclaimer: I own nothing, in this chapter, or any previous ones.
Hello, and Merry Christmas :)
I would like to thank first, everyone who wished me well. It really did help me through some ridiculously tough times. I would love to thank all of you individually, but there were just so many. Thank you to each and every one of you, from the bottom of my heart, you can't understand how much it meant to me.
Secondly I'd like to explain that I know I promised an update at the end of September, to have this story done by then, but I couldn't. I couldn't follow through, because I didn't want to do that to you guys. If I had of finished this back then, Chad would've moved away before they could get together and Sonny would've jumped off a cliff or bridge. I couldn't do that to everyone who has stuck to this story until now. I hope you understand.
Thirdly, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed this story, from way back when I started it until now. Updates have been iffy at best, but you've gotten me to more reviews than I could dream of. I always said I wanted to have 100 reviews by the end of this story, and right now I'm at 448. That is incredible. Thank you.
Fourth, and finally, I would like to dedicate this whole story to Abbie, who loved it more than I ever did, and made it much better by betaing it, and by being in it. I'm glad I could finally give her what she wanted, by having her slap Chad. Thank you Abbie.
So, this, my readers (however many of you are left), is my Christmas present to you, which I typed with one hand, because I broke my arm.
Enjoy the final chapter of I Love Him, Too Bad He Can't See It. :)
Chapter 14
"Well, you stood there with me in the doorway. My hands shake, I'm not usually this way, but you pull me in and I'm a little more brave, it's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something It's fearless"
Fearless ~ Taylor Swift
"No?" Chad repeated, his eyes slowly widening, "no?"
I turned away from him, the guilt at what I had done, and what I was about to do, ripping through me. I ran one hand through my hair, pulling away from the arm he still had around my shoulders.
"No," I stated, simply and as calmly as I could manage. I looked up at him again, and saw his blue eyes, locked on my face, filled with confusion. I could see it written all over his face. He honestly couldn't fathom why I had shot him down. Really, five minutes ago, I wouldn't have been able to conjure a reason. After all, I'd said what I'd said, and I'd done what I'd done because I really did love him. I'd changed who I was, I'd risked losing my best friend, countless times and I'd humiliated myself in front a whole party, just so he wouldn't be dating someone like Callie.
"Why?" he asked, incredulously. His nose was scrunched up a little, and he pursed his lips, as if he was trying to figure it out for himself. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, and took a deep breath in.
"I'm sorry Chad," I whispered into the dark room, standing up, and slowly holding out the pearls, which he took back with dazed caution, "but I'm tired of being second best. I've waited years, quite literally, for you to ask me that. But even I'm not desperate enough to be rebound girl. I've not done what I've done, and blown my savings on all these new clothes, and had my heart broken so many times, just to be the girl you run to only when you're hurt. I'm sorry, I wish things were different, but they're not." Nodding once at him, I strode purposefully from the room, afraid to hear what he had to say before I wrenched open his front door and began sprinting towards home. By the time I made it up the stairs of my empty house, and threw myself on my bed, tears were streaming down my face, and I was already regretting what I'd just done.
\\_
"Are you out of your mind?" Tawni's abnormally loud voice burst through my bubble of sleep. Slowly feeling myself wake up, I blinked groggily and raised my head from my pillow, just in time to see Portlyn creep slowly into my bedroom behind her, looking uncomfortable, and shutting the door quietly.
"Hello to you too, Tawni," I stated smartly.
Tawni, for her part, was not impressed and was standing beside my bed, near my feet, her hands on her hips, her face thunderous.
"Oh dear," I muttered into my duvet, and pushed myself up straighter, "how in the world did you find out?" This only seemed to serve to heightened Tawni's rage, and her face darkened menacingly. She took a step forward, moving towards me. She looked a little messy, I noticed. In fact, when I took a good look at her, she was quite unlike her usual self. She was wearing baggy tracksuit bottoms and a sweater than didn't match. Her cell was clutched in her right hand, her keys in her left. Her hair was a mess, tied up in a ponytail that was attempting to burst out. The odd curl had already escaped, giving her the air of a mad woman. She looked, for all the world, like she had just rolled out of bed. In fact, I decided, she must have. A lucid Tawni would never have left the house looking like that. I deduced that all that hairspray had finally driven her crazy.
Throwing a glance at Portlyn, I decided she must have done the same. Looking a little bit more put together, she still didn't have her make up on, and her boots were on the wrong feet. She looked like she'd just been up, barely given enough time to dress, before she was rushed out of the house.
"Well, Chad told Nico," Tawni took another step forward, a frightening scowl now gracing her face, "and Nico called me this morning. This is the type of thing boyfriends tell their girlfriends." She was getting ever closer, and I felt myself shrink back down under my covers, before I was momentarily distracted.
"Wait, boyfriend?" I asked, sitting up again, alert now. This also seemed to sidetrack Tawni who stopped in her war path and sighed. Really loudly. She had this happy little smile playing on her lips too, like she couldn't contain it. I peered around her, only to find Portlyn harbouring the exact same look.
"Guys?" I asked, looking between them, my eyebrows raised, "did something happen?"
This only made those smiles grow wider until they were both grinning first at me, then at each other.
"Guys," I said, pulling myself out of bed now, so my legs slipped out from underneath the duvet and into the cold air, "seriously, tell me."
They both looked at one another, like they couldn't decide who should start. As I would have thought Tawni launched into her side of the story.
"Well, after you left to go comfort Chad, or whatever you were doing, we were all, you know, talking it over. We even took five minutes with Abbie and her weird friend Zora... She's really strange, her. I even offered her a shopping trip, a makeover like yours, and she did this weird sort of cackle and skipped away. She skipped!" Tawni's eyes widened and she raised her hands up in question, like the idea of someone skipping was unfathomable.
I on the other hand was more focused on the fact that she had not addressed the question I had asked her.
"Tawni, focus."
"Right, right. Focus," she nodded, as if confirming it to herself, "well we were talking, all of us, and then, before I know it, Portlyn and Grady have disappeared –into a closet, I later discovered- and it's just me and Nico. And I'm doing the whole arm touching thing you kept talking about, and he's all getting really close to me, and then he whispered something, and I nodded, and I assume he asked me out, but I'm still not sure, because he called me his girlfriend later, and anyway, then I sort of leaned in, and he leaned in, and then next thing we're kissing, and I'm thinking that my parents totally had the right idea moving here."
Tawni broke into a grin, and I squealed and jumped from up from my bed, and ran at her, hugging her tightly, as she squeezed back hard.
"Oh Tawni, I'm so happy for you," I said, then turned my head from her shoulder, and gazed over her back at Portlyn, "and you too, Port. A closet, really?"
Her face flushed scarlet, and she shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the next, but as she bowed her head I caught a glimpse of a smirk.
"Never said I wasn't up for a little seven minutes in heaven," she whispered cheekily from across the room, her head still bowed low, and I pulled out of my hug with Tawni, chuckling.
I was so happy for them both, forgetting for a moment everything that had gone down the night before, and I was just glad for not just them, but Nico and Grady too, who'd been my friends for so long.
"But that's not why we came to visit," Tawni seemed to come to her senses, and her hands returned to her hips, but her face was softer now, more concerned, "I'm worried about you Sonny. Are you just trying to sabotage everything for yourself? You deserve Chad, you know that right? You deserve to be happy."
She peered at me, as if she was trying to figure out what exactly I was thinking. And she looked just as confused moments later, when she lowered her eyes, apparently giving up on trying to figure me out.
"Just tell me why you would say no," she whispered, frowning.
To my surprise I felt tears sting my eyes, and I looked up at her, and shrugged half heartedly.
"I don't really know, Tawni," I admitted, "but all I really want is someone to tell me I've done the right thing."
\\_
Two hours later, I was sitting downstairs on my sofa, in an empty house, having just seen Tawni and Portlyn out. I could hear only the ticking of the clock from my kitchen, and my own breathing. I was thinking about Chad, and what Tawni had said. In the end she'd agreed that I had a reason to say no. A good reason, too.
"But Sonny, talk to him about it. Maybe there is more to it than that." That's what Portlyn told me to do. Her eyes had shifted across the room, as if she was trying to prevent me from seeing something. Like she knew something, but was forbidden to tell me.
I sighed, rising, and discarding any idea of hidden meanings and happy endings. It was simple to see, the plain truth. Chad had loved Callie and she had hurt him. And I was waiting on the sidelines, pathetic best friend who'd been in love with him for years. He had never wanted me. He'd just had his heartbroken and couldn't stand the thought of being alone, so he'd turned to me. He didn't want me because I'm Sonny, or anyone special really; he just wanted me because I was there.
That was my only appeal.
And knowing that's what the person you love thinks of you can damn well hurt.
What was worse though? That the person who thought that about me was supposed to be my best friend. That caused a stabbing pain in my gut, that I tried to ignore, but still knew it was there.
Blinking back tears, I was heading towards the kitchen, when I heard one sharp, hard knock on the door.
Fearing it was Chad, or worse, Nico, Grady and Skylar come to give me the sympathy vote after Tawni and Portlyn ordered them to, I was more than a little surprised, and angry, at who I found standing on the top step outside my front door, her hands clasped behind her back, her eyes wide and innocent, but with a trace of guilt.
"Hello Sonny," she said, raising one hand slightly, in what I took to be a sign of peace.
"Callie," I said, nodding at her, and resisting the urge to reach out and slap her. I wasn't the girl standing before me, vicious and cruel. That wasn't me at all, "what are you doing here?"
If my voice sounded as vindictive to Callie as it did to me, she didn't show it. Not even flinching at my sharp tone, she kept her cool, like she was known for.
"I realise I'm not your favourite person in the world right now. I realise I'm not anyone's favourite person in the world right now, except maybe Devon's. But that's why I'm here. He says I have to tell you. And even I agree it's probably time to come clean, and tell the truth," Callie looked up at me, and smiled slightly, "I promise Sonny, you want to hear this."
I stared down at her, trying to decide whether or not to let her in. There was something there though, that told me she wasn't playing some sort of game.
"Okay, whatever," I said, stepping aside to let her in, and as she passed me, she gave me a shy smile, "and to clear things up, you were never my favourite person."
Nodding her head, her smile dropped, and she became solemn. I pointed towards the living room, and she headed towards the sofas. She carefully perched herself on the edge of the cushions as I threw myself down on the armchair.
I stayed silent, staring at her, as she kept her eyes on her lap, as she played with her fingers.
"Six months ago, around the time Chad and I started to go out... you remember that?" Callie began, glancing up just to see me nod, before lowering her eyes again, "well, we met through our moms' book club a little over two months before then. He never told you that, I know, because for a while, that's all we were. Two kids the same age, stuck in a room with middle aged women, because my mom would drop me to my piano lesson afterwards and Chad started staying because he would bring his mom up and collect her and he didn't fancy wasting all that gas.
Soon, we'd started to spend time a little off from the group. He'd be texting someone- you I later discovered-, and I'd read. And this one day, when his cell ran out of battery, he asked me what my book was about. And I told him. Someone who was in love with their oblivious best friend."
She paused looking up at me, as if gauging my reaction, which remained the same, stony. Was she rubbing it in my face? That she hadn't had to make any effort to grab Chad's attention, bar telling him what she was reading.
Taking a deep breath, she seemed to think it was safe to continue.
"And he said, 'oh, sounds familiar.' So of course, after the whole necessary awkward pause, I asked him, 'really?'. And he nodded, held up his cell as if it was supposed explain things to me, and said, 'there is this girl, her name's Sonny...' and he got this sick, love struck expression on his face. Man, you had him whipped," she looked up at me, and smiled, but her eyes were cloudy as if she was still in the past, remembering that day. Me? My mouth was hanging open in shock and disbelief, and my head was shaking of its own accord, "so, every week after that, he'd tell me how things with you were going, and they never changed, and he'd be so damn frustrated. And then the week before he introduced me to you, I suggested he make you jealous. With me."
She looked so ashamed, I was tempted to go over and give her a hug, if I wasn't so outraged and stunned.
"And he seemed to go for it, and I swear, we did nothing when you weren't around. And I mean nothing. We barely ever met up. But then he introduced me to you. And I saw it, how much you hated me. It was painfully obvious, you couldn't stand the sight of me. And I looked between the two of you, and all I saw were the two most oblivious people in the world. You guys both loved each other, so much. I wondered how you couldn't see it."
"And that's where I become the bad guy," her voice dropped, but I didn't move, as still as a statue, too engrossed in her story to even react, concentrating on all the memories that were now changing before my eyes. Chad glancing at me while he wrapped his arm around Callie's waist, not because he didn't want me to be grossed out, but because he was checking to see if I even cared. And me, the ever brilliant actress had saved the tears for when I was alone.
"Holy God," I whispered aloud, but Callie ignored me, and continued with her story.
"I should've said something, I should've told him, but I didn't. I didn't because I was selfish. I am selfish. I loved having a boyfriend who didn't want to get in my pants, and guys stopped hitting on me all the time. And then, I met Devon ... and I wanted him to want to get in my pants. Which is ridiculous, but it's true. But I decided to have both. I couldn't disappoint Chad either. I cared for him too much, to just opt out of our deal. And then things were getting messy, and you told Chad how you felt at the party, and Devon had just threatened to tell everyone, so I took my anger out on you. Things were just falling apart, which served to help me act out the part of the girlfriend. And I convinced Chad that you were being horrible so he kept up the boyfriend act. He's just such a good guy Sonny, and I used him. I used you, and I'm sorry. But I thought you had a right to know. You were never rebound girl. You were always just the girl. The only girl."
She smiled at me, "No one else ever stood a chance. So, I hope you'll give him a chance. He deserves one."
She stood, brushed herself off, and nodded firmly to me. I just sat in silence, not even acknowledging that she was leaving.
"Oh and Sonny," she poked her head back into the living room, "Happy New Year."
I looked up at her, and she stared back for a second, before disappearing again, and a second later I heard the front door open and close.
\\_
"So you mean to say, he's been in love with you this whole time?" Abbie said, glancing at Zora who wore an identical look on scepticism on her face. When Callie had left, it had taken me a half hour to move, and even then it was only because my family had arrived home.
I couldn't face talking to Tawni or Portlyn, and the guys would never understand, and when I saw Abbie and Zora walk through the door, I finally saw people I wanted to see.
Third party objectives.
"Can't say I'm surprised," Zora admitted nodding to herself, "you two got on far too well, considering all the tension."
"Tension?" Abbie asked, looking at her friend.
"Yeah, sexual tension, chemistry, whatever you want to call it," Zora elaborated, and I just sat there, switching from Zora to Abbie as they spoke. Neither seemed flustered by the news, neither seemed to think it was odd that Callie had done what she'd done, "I'm surprised they haven't tore each other's clothes off before now."
"And what do you think she should do?" Abbie asked, looking first at me, then back to Zora. She was dressed at oddly as ever, mismatching socks, and shiny black Mary Jane loafers.
Zora shrugged and looked back at Abbie.
"I'm a child genius," Zora explained, "not a romance guru. I'm fourteen, I've no experience in the matter. Sorry."
She shot an apologetic smile my way, and turned towards the door. Abbie for her part leaned across to me, and her lips twitched slightly.
"If it were up to me, I'd tell you to go for it," she said, "you've waited so long... why not take a chance?"
With that she got up, and followed Zora out of the room.
A few minutes later, I left the living room too, and walked up to my bedroom. It was still a mess from the morning. My shoes littered the floor, and the duvet was crumpled in a ball. And there, on the bedside table was the little box, that still held the pearl earrings, but was missing the necklace.
I'm not really sure why, but suddenly anger surged through me. Anger at Chad, for not just telling me, anger with Callie, for using Chad like she did, for Tawni, because she agreed to do my makeover.
I was just furious at everyone, and I stormed over to the box, picked it up and lobbed it at the wall. There was no huge breaking sound, and as the box snapped apart I saw that the earrings were still intact. But now, something had joined the heavy red box, and the black velvet lining. There on the floor, was a small white card, and even from across the room, I could recognise Chad's simple slanted script.
Swallowing I walked towards the card, and bent down to read it. And there were three simple words. Words that summed up, and basically confirmed, everything Callie had said about Chad.
I love you.
I love you. Chad loves me. I. Love. You.
I stared down at the card, gripped between my thumb and forefinger, as I remained on my hunkers. Maybe he'd never meant me to see this. Maybe he'd felt guilty, or frustrated, or just wanted to let it out somehow, so he'd written it down, and never really intended for me to see it, but still here it was in my hands, clear as day. I looked down at it for a full minute, just to make sure it was real.
Then I stood straight quickly, and started to run.
Out my door, down the stairs, through the front door, onto the street, paying attention for only long enough to notice something I'd missed earlier, even when I'd opened up the door to Callie. It had snowed overnight.
I hopped the wall between my garden and Chad's, and sprinted, as quickly as possible, and slipped around Chad's mustang.
Out of breath, I did something I rarely did. I rang Chad's doorbell.
After what felt about five minutes, but what must have been about two seconds, I rang it again, and again, and I could hear the shrill sound echo through the house.
"Chad," I whispered impatiently, and after another full minute, threw caution to the wind, and flung the door open, and marched inside only to be faced with Chad, who's hand was outreached, mere inches from me.
We stood in silence for a second, just staring at each other, before I held the card up, showing it to him clearly. He took one look at it and blushed deeply.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" I whispered, staring deep into his blue eyes, before tossing the white paper over my shoulder, throwing my arms around his neck, and planting my lips firmly on his.
\\_
I'm not really sure how long the kiss lasted (and I didn't really care, because I was kissing Chad, and he was kissing back, and it was my first kiss, and it gave me such butterflies I forgot about the cold and the snow, and it was just perfect. And it was Chad. And I knew that when we did break apart, I could kiss him again and again if I wanted to), or if anyone saw us. All I know is, when we broke apart, Chad asked me to be his girlfriend again, and this time, pride meant I didn't have to say no. He was finally, finally my boyfriend. I could finally hold his hand, and smile sweetly at him, and be a girl to him (though I guess I always had been), and wear sweats again. God, I could wear tracksuits again. I didn't have to pretend to be happy for him and Callie, or any other girl. And no more heels. But none of that, not about the heels, or all the heartbreak I'd gone through swept through my mind as Chad leaned down to kiss me for the second time. No, all I could think was; man, I love him, and thank god he can finally see it.
So, c'est finis.
And yes, I always meant to have Callie tell Sonny that it was always her. That Chad had never really loved Callie.
That was the plan right from the very, very beginning. ;)
So, again, thank you.
I'm not going to ask for reviews, because I don't deserve them.
But I genuinely hoped you enjoyed it.
DemiandSelenaFan x