31I have been looking for funny Naruto comedy fic for a loooooong time. And I came across a few, but then the search would continue. So then I decided… why not just make my own comedy special! This will get updated every now and then, I just hope its funny. So, with no further ado. Here is my funny fic! 'Somethings Are Better Left Unsaid'
Me no own no Naruto ya know.
*start*
'Rap Dvd'
Young Naruto Uzumaki was tired.
Not of life. No.
Tired of the ninja academy. It was so boring. The same thing everyday. Lecture, lecture, and then more lecture. Finally though, tomorrow would be the final day of the academy and into the real ninja world. Naruto was in deep thought as he walked home. He had just finished returning the forbidden scroll to the Hokage. But his thoughts were on how to leave the academy with a bang?
What was he going to do to make his last day at the academy fun?
As Naruto pondered, he tripped over a cardboard box and landed on the unforgiving floor. As he dusted himself up he looked at the box, ready to carry out his aggression on it. Before he read the top.
To: You
From: The best rapper ever
Enjoy son!
'What…is a rapper?' Naruto asked. He shrugged his shoulders and carried it to his apartment. As he came inside and opened the box, he came across tons of cd's with weird symbols and weird circular 'DVDs' that said SMACK DVD and "BEEF I, BEEF II, BEEF III and more… as he continued looking through the box he came to the bottom where he found a chain that nearly blinded him cuz it was just so much gold and platinum on it, with a microphone on the bottom. He also found a hat with a 'U' on top in addition to some weird nubuck boots and jeans he knew was extremely baggy.
Interestingly enough, Naruto owned a tv that he never really seen any use of using. It was just sitting outside one day, and he thought it looked cool. After playing around with it, he realized a tray slide out of the tv that looked like it would fit the cds and dvds. With that being said, he picked up one cd that had a small baby with its shirt off, an afro and jeans with boots on and put it in.
By 5am, all the videos and music was listened to and watched.
What he saw would change Konoha forever
(Academy)
'Where is Naruto?' thought Iruka, the said student was obviously missing as he loved to make his entrances… eccentric, to say the least. He would always storm in and make a complete fool of himself by stumbling and landing on his face, bringing the class to laughter, after a year in the academy, it was established that he was the class clown, doing his best to make Iruka mad or the class smile.
If only they knew it was to get attention.
Nothing prepared them for what they would see next.
The door busted open and the classroom immediately looked to the door to see who this person was. The first thing they seen were weird nubuck boots with a tree sign at the bottom, baggy blue jeans left very low and were nowhere near the persons waist. A big white shirt with a red spiral in the middle with a shining microphone chain that blinded everyone as it reflected off of the sun. Finally, they came to the hat that was tilted low, covering the persons face. But it was the blonde locks that let everyone know who it was.
"YO! WHATS GOOD IRUKA SENSEI G!" yelled Naruto as he bopped in with a weird walk that looked like he was limping. As he made his way up the steps, Kiba opened his mouth and voiced his opinions.
"What are you wearing? And why are you here? This is only for graduates only. A dead last like you should be here for Next year's class." Said Kiba as he and the class laughed. Naruto's eyebrows rose a little as what he said next put the entire class in a stupor.
"Son. You don't see my hitai-ate right here yo?" at this, Naruto pulled his shirt up to show the said item holding his pants up as a belt.
"Next time, look before you speak for I make you speak with a busted lip son, you dig?" Naruto said as he came up to Kiba and stood right in front of his face, hands balled up as if he was ready to strike the Inuzuka. Tension rose up a notch as the class looked on in confusion and shock at this new Naruto.
"Y-yeah." Said Kiba quickly as he looked away.
"But yeah son, it's all good yo. I got what I needed ya dig. But ay, I holla at you later, I'm about to get my roll on, nah mean." Said Naruto as he strutted up the steps with his bop and sat down next to a very confused Ino.
Iruka was silent the whole time with his mouth opened. What happened to Naruto? Was this a side effect to finding out about the Kyuubi. What as he saying? Why was he calling Kiba son. Iruka shook his head and chalked it down to a 'phase' kids went through and continued on with his speech.
While Iruka was talking, Naruto was gazing intently at Ino who was in return, looking right back at him.
Finally, Naruto looked away and closed his eyes to remember how the dvd instructed him to talk to girls.
Finally he opened his eyes and knew the words he had to say.
He scooted over to Ino and grabbed her wrist, causing her to jump.
"shh… sh… relaxing ma, I just wanna talk to you for a little bit you know. " said Naruto as he scooted his seat up closer to the confused kunoichi.
"What do you want Naruto-baka." Whispered Ino, as she was trying to figure out what Naruto was trying to pull.
"You know… I been looking at you for a while ma, I'm kind of feeling yo style you know? I mean, look at you. Smelling all good, looking good. Got the purple going on, hair shining all that dazzling in the light. I'm trying to see if I can take you out of here and show you the finer things in life you know what I'm saying? So, im thinking ma, how about me and you." Naruto then whispered some words into the already blushing Ino who, if she was to be honest, kind of thought Naruto was cute before he began acting a fool.
But now… he was downright stunning. The way he said 'good' so smoothly. The way he looked into her eyes so warmly. She just couldn't resist nodding her head to what Naruto just suggested.
As she listened to Naruto whispering in her ear, Iruka began naming the teams.
"TEAM 7, Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto-…"
"WHAT SON! AWW NAW, HELL NAW, HOW YOU GON PUT ME WITH THAT CLOWN OVER THERE YO. THAT AINT RIGHT, HE LOOK MAD EMO OVER THERE, WHY HE GOT EYELINER ON MAN, HOW YOU GON DO ME LIKE THAT SON? I THOUGHT WE WAS COOL!" yelled Naruto as he stopped whispering once he heard his name.
"Hn. Like I would wanna be on a team with you. Dobe." Said Sasuke as he looked away.
He soon looked up in shock as he felt two timbaland boots land right on his desk.
He looked up and peered into cold blue eyes as they squinted in his vision.
"What you say son? You wanna say that louder yo?" whispered Naruto as he got closer to the Uchiha.
"We beefing yo?" asked Naruto as he jumped down and somehow, the room got dark and lights came on underneath the two.
All of a sudden, poofs came around the room and in the corner was another Naruto that had a dj set in front of him and head phones on. The dj put the needle on the record and a beat began to sound, making everything in the room vibrate with the beat.
BOOM
*CLAP*
BOOM, BOOM
*CLAP*
BOOM
*CLAP*
BOOM, BOOM
*CLAP*
Instantly, a microphone came out of nowhere and landed in Naruto's hand as he stepped back and began rapping…
"Son… you think you better then me?/uzu-maki?/ I show you right now you aint messing with me
You think you better than me?/uzu-maki/I show you right now you aint messing with me
You think you better than me?/uzu-maki/I show you right now you aint messing with me
A bunch of jeering and cheers came from a bunch of clones that looked just like Naruto among the classroom
"Get him son. Rip him."
"let him know yo, let him know."
Naruto began rapping:
"You couldn't see this orange if I gave you the light man/
Trying to test me and you cant even write man/
Back of your head looks like a chicken when you walk/
You don't talk to girls cause you sound gay when you talk/
You can't stop me, I'm the king you nothing but a pawn/
Uzu-maki the #1 G the don/
You talk smack you get smack homie you don't want beef/
I put your Sharigan in your stomach so I can show you how to eat/
I'm the mystical lyrical spitting image of the killer yo/
Tryna get revenge, aint even on Itachi's chakra flow/
Yo momma though/ she could get down with the real me/
Then I'll show you who can father you for real see/
You better back down, I am a wolf, you a poodle/
I'll gut you like a fish and turn your intestines to noodle/
Please, oh you mad cuz I'm styling on you/
Uzumaki on your mother yeah I'm wilding on you/
Yeah, plus I'm your father, so act up, and you will have to get whipped on r-…"
Naruto never finished his sentence as the raging Uchiha punched Naruto in the face, which was soon his downfall as 50 Naruto's jumped into the fray and beat the avenger into a bloody pulp.
Iruka had nothing to say but.
"That Itachi line was kind of nice."
(Later)
"So… why is he here this time?" said the Hokage as he rubbed his temples. In the past 1 year, Naruto, or Uzu-maki-G, has managed to beat the Uchiha into a coma, get the Hyuuga and Yamanaka heirs pregnant, stab a civilian ('he stepped on my timbs gramps,' being his excuse) did what he called a 'drive-by' on a store that refused to sell him groceries, and sleep with half of the Village's Kunoichi, including Anko Mitarashi and Yuuhi Kurenai.
Across from him, was the Kumo Raikage himself as he sat with his arms folded. On the other chairs, was Kumo's jinchuuriki himself, Killer Bee, and the said 'rap phenomenon' Uzumaki Naruto.
"I'm saying yo, this kid here got my dvds and cds, my brother sent them here, I came to get them back." Said Killer Bee, pointing at Naruto who's eyebrows rose.
"Yours? Son I seen them on the floor. They mine now." Said Naruto as he and Killer Bee began shouting back and forth.
Sarutobi looked at the Raikage and whispered.
"When we get the chance, we are sending this to Suna and this never occurred. Are we clear?"
The Raikage brought his face to his palm.
"We did that already. This happened." At this, the Raikage put a CD on the Hokage's desk. As he picked it up, the only question on his mind was.
"Who is Gaara West?"
*End* and this is just the 1st chapter of the randomness. Next chapter will be different of course. All just random things and ideas I had using characters from Naruto. Thanks for reading.
JA NE!