31Here is the next thing that is better left unsaid…
ENJOY!
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Naruto stood across the valley from Sasuke. This was it. Naruto gazed at his friend before a small chuckle escaped his mouth. The chuckle escalated into full blown laughter as he pointed at Sasuke.
"Ok teme… this is your last chance. Come back to Konoha or else I will have to use… that jutsu." Said Naruto as he growled at his friend across the valley.
Sasuke sighed and closed his eyes before looking at Naruto with his Sharingan open.
"I told you… I am not returning home. I am going to Orochimaru and I will gain the power to kill my brother.
Naruto sighed. He did not want to use the jutsu. Honestly he didn't. but it was time to finish Sasuke once and for all.
"Well then… I'm afraid I'm going to have to use the jutsu." Naruto flipped through hand seals at rocket speeds that Sasuke had to work to keep up. When the jutsu was performed, his eyes widened in shock as the smoke disappeared revealing…
(Three hours later)
Naruto Uzumaki was declared Chunnin for his actions in retrieving Sasuke from his defecting. Afterwards he was taken by Jiraiya to train for three years. When he returned, he was a smarter ninja that only focus was to destroy Akatsuki and become hokage now that Sasuke was already in Konoha.
Years later he was asked by Tsunade how he got Sasuke to return back to Konoha.
What she heard shocked them.
(Flashback)
"So you want to know…"
"Yes…"
"How I got…"
"Yes…"
"You want to know, how I got…"
"Yes…"
"Him back…"
"Yes…"
"So you want to know, how I got, him back…"
"YES! ANSWER ALREADY!" Sakura screamed in anger. She was tired of playing games and wanted to know how she got her Sasuke-kun back. The rookie nine as well as the entire ninja group were all in anticipation for how he got the runaway Uchiha to return.
"Temper temper." Said Naruto as he pulled ear wax out of his ear.
"I can see why I never got with you… your too loud." Mumbled Naruto. When he left for Jiraiya, he visited spring county got into a little fling with the princess…Jiraiya never let him live that down. Walking in on him and the princes playing 'runaway princess and the kidnapper'
"FINE! I will tell you all how I got the teme back…" said Naruto as he dodged a swing from sakura.
"It is very anti-climatic truthfully. See what I did was…"
(Battle)
When the smoke cleared, Naruto was seen making out with Sasuke's mother, Mikoto Uchiha on a bed with the Uchiha clan symbol on the top, his mother was wearing lingerie and was receiving kisses from her head to her toes.
His mother then pinned Naruto on the bed and began removing his clothes.
"You've been a bad boy Naruto, upstaging my son. It's time for…punishment." She said as his orange jacket was seen tossed over the bed.
"Punish me… I've truly been bad. I'm growing up faster than him. Maybe you should…stunt my growth."
Sasuke was in shock as he watched the scene in front of him… if he had a rational part in his brain, he would remember that his mom was killed in front of him.
But nothing prepared him for the scene that occurred next.
"Son…"
Sasuke whipped around and after viewing what he had seen next, went comatose.
There in front of him, was his brother, the murderer himself, itachi Uchiha, with his dead father, Uchiha Fugaku…
Wearing green spandex with orange leg warmers.
AND BOWL CUT HAIRSTYLES
With their sharingan flaming, the two hugged each other and shouted.
"COME AND JOIN US IN THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH SASUKE-KUN!"
"DADDY!"
"SON!"
"DADDY!"
"SON!"
The two then hugged as a Genjutsu of an ocean with waterfalls coming down was behind them.
Sasuke's eyes rolled behind his head and he fainted. What made it worse was he had his Sharingan on so he would NEVER forget what he just seen. Naruto dispelled all of his shadow clones and picked up the comatose Uchiha. When Kakashi arrived on the scene, Naruto smiled.
"What took you so long sensei? Let's go home."
(KAI!)
The room was silent as the ninja's faceplanted, caught flies with their open mouths, laughed, or facepalmed.
Tsunade stood up in shock.
"YOU DID WHAT!"
"That's what I did. It's as simple as that."
Tsunade closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. She soon began shaking. Then she threw her head back to the ceiling and let out the loudest laugh that shook Konoha.
"Naruto, your getting a promotion. You are now head interrogator of Konoha. I don't think anyone can make someone talk like you can."
Naruto smiled and nodded his head in acceptance. He then went on to become the greatest hokage ever once he knocked Uchiha Madara unconscious by using shadow clones to show him and the 1st hokage disco dancing in nothing but G strings.
To this day, Uchiha Sasuke was in a cell with a straight jacket repeating the same words over and over.
"Springtime…."
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Hope it was funny!