171This is my first-ever attempt at writing AND English is a foreign language for me, so please be kind. I'd love to get some reviews so I'll know if I should keep on writing. Pretty please, review!
DISCLAIMER:
This goes for all the chapters: I do not own any Twilight characters, Stephenie Meyer does. I just make them fall in love.
Unwritten is (as any other songs quoted here) also not mine, though it might be the motto of my life.
Chapter 1: Storms aheadBella's Point of View
I am unwritten,
can't read my mind,
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning,
the pen's in my hand,
ending unplanned.
Staring at the blank page before you,
Open up the dirty window,
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find.
Reaching for something in the distance,
So close you can almost taste it,
Release your inhibitions.
Feel the rain on your skin,
No one else can feel it for you.
Only you can let it in,
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips,
Drench yourself in words unspoken,
Live your life with arms wide open,
Today is where your book begins.
The rest is still unwritten.
I break tradition,
sometimes my tries
are outside the lines.
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes,
but I can't live that way!
(Natasha Bedingfield, Unwritten)
Okay, calm down, Bella Swan, I thought to myself as I laid on my bed. It was much too late to still be awake, but I just couldn't seem to stop wondering. There was a storm of thoughts in my head, or rather a hurricane. Random thoughts kept popping up and my mind was a tangled mess of chaotic associations and feelings that were all screaming and shouting at me to listen.
I had only started school in Forks, Washington, a few weeks ago but there was already more drama in my life than ever before- and more than I cared for, actually. I had spent the first years of my life living here with my parents but had moved to Phoenix, Arizona, with my mother Renee when my parents divorced, leaving Charlie behind. I often felt as though I had betrayed him and my childhood friends, but it was hard to stay in contact being this young. Being a visitor to your own home was downright cruel to me, so I soon stopped visiting altogether. Now I was back of my own volition: I wanted to give my mother and her husband Phil some time to find themselves and to discover the world. Part of it was also for personal reasons: I wanted to rediscover my roots and to reconnect old ties. So far it wasn't working too well: I was confused, mystified and caught up in my thoughts.
I shook my head as if to chase them away and took a deep breath to steady myself. It seemed to work- for almost ten seconds. Then my thoughts returned to the mysterious Edward Cullen. Yet again, as though they were tiny planets attracted by his gravity or much rather his beautiful golden eyes. They were the windows to the enigma that was his soul. It seemed to be a stormy place- confusion, hatred and gentleness swirled in them.
Those eyes… They were too confusing to be a human being's. Every time he looked at me, looked through my very self to the bottom of my soul, I forgot how to breathe. I even forgot that I could breathe. And if he had asked me for my name while dazzling me like that, I knew I couldn't have answered.
Because I tended to forget it every so often when he stared me down. It was almost like being speared up and pinned to the wallpaper by a gaze alone.
He filled me with puzzlement, shame, breathlessness and anger all at the same time when he did that.
Although he did that to me - or maybe because those eyes did - they creeped me out. Not just slightly, but a lot. I didn't want that stranger to look into my soul and then avert his eyes with that disgusted look on his face. I especially didn't appreciate the power he and his siblings seemed to have over me and other girls in school. I had seen the way the others looked at him as if he was a Hollywood star. He was much less approachable, though, and had this way of crushing my already close to non-existent ego under his foot without a second thought. Maybe he didn't even realize how hurtful his behavior during Biology lessons could be. I wasn't made of rock!
My heart sunk. Biology. The most dreaded and at the same time the most exciting hour of my schedule so far.
Because every day, I would hope he didn't really hate me that badly; that my imagination was over reactive. And when he so evidently did, it hurt even more. It cut into the core of me like a rusty knife to have a stranger hate and distrust me so deeply without an obvious reason. What had I done? Time and time again I wrecked my brain for a possible cause of his strange hatred. Of course, it wasn't just that. It was also because it was him who wrinkled his nose whenever I was close. Maybe I could have ignored the hatred of an unpopular and spiteful girl – I could almost hear my mother whispering 'She's just jealous, honey'- but it was more difficult with an otherwise polite and handsome boy.
At least I had found some allies in this unfamiliar town that used to be my home years and years ago. Angela and Jessica had been a great help in adjusting to small-town life and a few of the boys were really great. Maybe my time here wouldn't be so bad. I just wanted to know what I had done to deserve his hatred.
There was no way to find that out now, so there was only one thing to do: To forget him and his stupid staring for now. It's not like I could change him, only try to talk some sense into him. Maybe I would, but for now I had to forget him and sleep.
And in the end I did. I noticed my train of thoughts becoming more and more jumbled, but they never left the one who had so suddenly changed my life without ever doing anything but giving me the evil eyes. He had turned me from boring Bella to the-new-girl-he-hates-with-a-passion-just-because-she-exists.
When I was harshly awakened by my alarm clock the next morning, I came to a startling revelation: Maybe Edward's curious behavior was because he liked me? Didn't they always say that a boy would try to pick on and intimidate the girl he liked? I would just take this reason as an explication for now and forgo being intimidated by him this way.
I shuddered. There was nothing I could use less at the moment than a bronze-haired, popular and staring stalker at my heels trying to catch my affections along with Mike Newton. I had always assumed that small-town life was idyllic, but this was far from it. To complicate matters further, I was working in the little grocery store that Mike's mother owned and had to face him not only in school, but during work as well.
Maybe my old childhood friends would make me feel better. But somehow I feared that Jacob and his sisters along with the whole reservation over in La Push (they were Native Americans) would not make me feel any more wanted after I simply abandoned them all those years ago. Stopping to visit had been a bad idea and would make a lot of things with them awkward for a while. I hadn't even seen any of them yet.
I was also going to have to sit next to an insufferable hater (who might possibly like me) all year with no rescue in sight.
It was before eight o'clock and I was already in a bad mood.
Ouch!
Great. Now I had somehow managed to hit my toe on the bedpost.
'Hello, clumsy old self! I missed you already', I grimly thought to myself and stumbled on into the bathroom.
I AM CURRENTLY EDITING THIS STORY AND ADDING TO THE CHAPTERS. Please tell me what you think- a review is what makes a writer happy- and faster ;-)