19A/N: Hello! I've edited a few things around since the last time I messed with this fic.
Written in Matt's POV, mostly.
Possessed
Matt's POV:
I still remember that night vividly. It is a time and place that I will never fully escape from…
My body was failing with every slow second that passed, but I wasn't exactly what you could call "dead." No, not entirely. I was fading and frightened that this really was it. That surely the next time I closed my eyes they would never again open.
No, I wasn't entirely there…floating in the haze of my pain, fear, confusion…
And Jonah.
Jonah was there too.
He's all I can vividly remember after the ghosts surrounded me, watching with those black, haunted eyes.
The fireman pumping my chest, Mom begging me to live, that forsaken house burning in the background.
I was no longer in my body, but floating above everything with him...
Jonah…
If I thought I had been going through Hell, then… I was dead wrong. Apparently, a soul's only natural home is in a living body or passed on. Not stuck in-between.
Not imprisoned with multitudes of poltergeists whose graves you had desecrated and then forcibly bound to the physical world. Not with vehement specters that would burn you alive to ensure you remained bound there with them. Destined to spend an eternity weaving your envious, weightless bodies tortuously around living souls. Destined for an eternity of pain, of wanting so deeply to live and die and end your own consciousness…
When Jonah pulled himself into my failing body we had initiated a contract of sorts. There was a moment of agony as he ripped himself from the material world and crammed inside me.
It was indescribable. He pushed my very soul aside to make room for himself and in the end we were both left writhing in silent anguish. Alone. Together. Apart. Unreachable. Too close. And suddenly too far away. That moment was the span of a lifetime.
Then it was done. Over. The pain extinguished. Except for the staggering malaise brought on by my cancer. But that was really nothing in comparison. Just old wounds…Old pain mixed in with this strange, entirely foreign sensation.
Like I could feel Jonah everywhere and he could feel me. His urgency, his absolute need to be at that house.
Suddenly, I knew everything, anything about him. From the smallest, most intimate details to the most pressing. And I could feel that he knew me as well. My dad and his drinking. His abusive behavior. His equally abusive sister. My hopeful cousins who picked the lesser of two evils. My mother who prayed it was her and not me. The self-pity I had for myself. Every wicked thought that ever ran through my head. All of my most embarrassing moments. My most intimate. And the list went on…
The house.
I needed to destroy the house. Burn it and set their souls free. I now understood everything and more. More than I ever wanted to know about Aickmen and his relationship with Jonah.
Jonah who had existed in pain since his death.
Stand up, Matt.
And for a long time before his death too…
He winced. Stop thinking and stand.
His voice was soft; light like eyelashes fluttering shut.…
Please….
I worked my eyes open and the act exhausted me. I lay face-up on the sickly pink-beige hospital floor, my arms and legs twisted into my chest like an expired corpse. I was still in the Psych Unit. My roommate choked on his manic bout of laughter and smiled eerily down upon me. Like he could see both of us. Jonah's voice forced its way to the front of my mind.
Now, Matt. Hurry.
I sucked a breath of air in, rolled to my side and stood up slowly as Jonah bombarded me with visions of his afterlife. His spirit had been placating the others. A memory was forced before my very eyes, leaving me blind.
The entrapped souls were screaming, murderous in their uproar. After Jonah's remains were torn from the house, his soul along with it, they were left in the darkness. Without any light and devoid of hope.
His eyes… I could feel Jonah's eyes roaming my body, inside my body, looking through me and at me at the same time. The symbols carved into my body. They were too familiar now. Much too familiar. With every pass of his eyes over my torso I felt his heart plummet.
Matt…They were going to take you… I was gone and they….
"K-keep me there? They'd go so far…?"
Of course. They were waiting…all this time, he thought, for you to die.
My body was doubling over. Stomach acid and bright green bile painted the floor beneath me. Was it me or was it both of us; who—?
They won't have you. I won't let them have you, Matt. Now, hurry.
I was moving. Up from the bed and out of the window. Faster than I can ever remember running. Jonah's spirit was guiding me, pulling me magnetically to the house he had inhabited. I could feel his legs pumping alongside mine, inside of mine. And he felt real.
Real.
As if his hands were pushing at my back and pulling from my front to just… Move faster!
But despite everything, I was the one failing. Physically, I felt myself begin to slow, my atrophied muscles spasming; painfully obvious and indicative of the sad condition of the body he possessed.
Jonah hesitated, contemplating the consequences of not reaching the house in time.
I froze, seeing the deaths of my entire family through his mind's eye.
It wasn't an option. So we ran on and on and down the half-deserted highway, through the graveyard by the church, past an old playground, the black-top behind an elementary school… The sharp pain lanced through me like needles, burning in my lungs and joints, stabbing bare feet all the way to my eyes.
My heart constricted oddly in my chest, quivering. It went still for a beat.
Two beats.
Three beats.
I tripped, falling.
All the air was gone from my lungs on impact and I lay there.
Unable to move, unable to speak. My mind was chaos.
But, I could still feel Jonah with me. I could feel him spreading out and around me. I could feel his fear.
Please, God.
The strangest thing happened.
The sensation of a cold fist wrapped around my heart, squeezing again and again.
Pumping. Pumping my heart and forcing blood through my veins. Bringing me back from the edge.
Not yet, Matt. You can't leave this world yet. Not until we make it. Not until they are free, Matt. Please try for me. For your family.
Jonah… Just until the house is burning.
He possessed me fully. Again, the pain was staggering. Our souls crammed against each other as he took command of my physical body.
Standing, he winced with my face and clenched my teeth.
"So… this is cancer…?"
Yeah, I answered weakly from somewhere inside. I no longer felt connected to my own body. I was paralyzed. He held onto my soul. Like a child running, dragging his balloon along by a thin, taught ribbon.
If he were to let me go right now…
A stab of pity emanated from his soul. "Burning to death will be quicker. Don't worry."
You would know. He could feel me wishing I wouldn't have to die, let alone die possessed.
I heard him laugh. "Death's not so bad… You'll see."
You're memories say otherwise.
"They will disappear with my soul, only bliss awaits us."
Do you believe in God?
"Matt…" He slowed to a stop, despite himself, gulping down lungfuls of air.
I don't. I don't know what to believe.
"They used me… like you are. People who didn't quite believe in anything."He wheezed and coughed. "Doubters. The ones always seeking answers."
I'm not trying to use you.
"But you are. You want me to tell you… hah. You want me to say that God is real. That He exists and will right every wrong." He coughed again and shakily exhaled.
"I can't lie to you, Matt, because I don't know. I'm not exactly passed on…yet."
But you've been living in Hell with those souls for so long now!
"It is simply the most painful thing I've ever experienced. Until I died I didn't know this pain existed. Who knows? Maybe passing on will be even worse. Maybe I will go to Hell. But things cannot stay the way they are now… The monotony, the tedium. Being trapped in a prison of hate, misery, and pain; I imagine that to be Hell. If I do nothing, then I'm already there. You would try too."
I cringed as Jonah unconsciously replayed the memories accompanying his words.
But, I couldn't tear my eyes away…
God, just run!
His dark laugh chilled right to my core as we continued in the direction of that house.
"Running to meet your fate, Matt?" He interrupted.
Fate… No, that's not right. I would have died anyway. 'Might as well do something good before I'm gone.
I felt him mentally pause as my body went through the motions of running. Blessedly, my feet were beginning to tingle and go numb. It was like running on stumps.
"I promise that the flames will never touch you. At least, not while you are conscious. We can wait until the fumes have—"
Stop. Not until I have to think about it, okay?
"Matt, you're not alone."
I haven't been alone in months thanks to you.
He stopped abruptly. His acute embarrassment punctuated my own. Of course, I knew that too. The way he watched me all of those months…how he thought of me… But it was too late for either of us to hide our faces in shame. And I decided that it didn't matter. How could it matter when I was about to be dead? Let him feel what he wants. It doesn't change anything.
That's what I thought…
It was an odd sensation to feel my arms wrap around myself, but it happened and I could feel icy hands soothing over cuts. More pairs of arms than just my own… Another pair of hands, another body even. The sweat down my back made me shiver.
You feel so real.
He chuckled, starting to run harder than before.
"I will be with you until the end."
He tuned me out shortly after. It was all my laughing.
It had to be.
Because this was just too fucked up.