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This was written for the "coming out" challenge for the YoruSoi FC on BleachAsylum.

This is Yoruichi's half on this story and, again, it is unconnected to the first one-shot.

This seemed funny to me when I first thought of it, but after I wrote it, it just seems creepy and depressing. Maybe I'm just thinking about it too much. You people be the judge.


Soifon was famous for her scowl. It was her trademark look. The only forms of expression the members of the Second Division and the Onmitsukido knew their Captain was capable of were various degrees of scowling and squinting.

But that wasn't entirely true. Soifon could smile. She could even laugh. But she only did so in the presence of one person. And that same person was the reason she was willing to endure being in close proximity of one Kiuske Urahra.

Yoruichi sent Soifon a note the other day requesting her presence at Urahara Shoten. While the note said that she wanted to discuss the recent encounter with the Arrancar with The current head of the Onmitsukido, Soifon knew Yoruichi better than that. While they would talk business and tactics at first, Yoruichi would tire of the subject and they would eventually find something else to do.

Soifon had her fingers crossed that Yoruichi would suggest that the soak in the hot springs in the Shoten's training area.

Wearing her signature scowl, Soifon stepped in to the shop area of Urahara Shoten. The proprietor was standing behind the counter.

"Oh! Hello, Soi-chan!" Urahara waved jovially upon noticing her.

"Where is Yoruichi-sama?" Soifon replied bluntly, annoyed by how informally she was greeted.

"Straight to business, as always." Urahara remarked. "Actually, Yoruichi said no to expect you for another hour."

"I finished up my duties early." Soifon replied curtly. "Now, where is Yoruichi-sama?"

Urahara opened his mouth to speak, but then quickly shut it. He remained silent for a few seconds, then his lips curled up into a smile and he let out a soft chuckle.

"She's in her room." Urahara answered, still smiling. Without another word, Soifon turned away from the man and headed back into the halls of the Shoten's living area. Slowly, Soifon made her way back to the room that Yoruichi inhabited.

Soifon raised her hand to knock, but stop the motion as she heard the sounds coming from the other side of the door.

Soifon could clearly hear panting and moaning; the type that only came from one activity.

Blushing profusely, Soifon turned away from the door. Even though it literally pained her heart to know that Yoruichi had decided to seek physical pleasure in someone other than her, a fact that made Soifon angry at herself, since she had no reason to think that Yoruichi would come to her for satisfaction, even though she was sure that feel well within her duties to the princess, Soifon knew she had no right to interrupt Yoruichi.

Soifon began to leave when she hear something come from the room that made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

"Ahhh! Soi!" Yoruichi cried out.

Soifon's heartbeat increased as her mind raced.

Why would she be calling out for me? Soifon thought to herself. Unless…No, that completely preposterous. There's no way that anyone could…

"Ohhh Soi!" Yoruichi called out again, this time as more of a desperate plea.

But why else would she sound so desperate? Soifon though to herself. She knew I was coming here today She has to be calling out for my help!

"Mmmnnn! Soi!" Yoruichi called out again, louder than before.

I'm coming, Yoruichi-sama! Silently, Soifon took of an offensive stance, her right hand gripping Suzumebachi's hilt. Quietly, she gripped the latch of the shoji. If Yoruichi's assailant heard her coming, he could harm her even more.

In one quick motion, Soifon threw the shoji open, the lock broke with ease, and lunged inside, Suzumebachi drawn. Even though Soifon had mentally prepared herself for the horror that lay on the other side of the door, she would have never been able to galvanize herself for the reality.

Yoruichi was knelling on her bed, naked, with her legs spread apart. Under her was a woman , also naked, in a sitting position with her back on the bed and her legs on Yoruichi's chest and draped over her shoulders at the knees. Yoruichi was gripping the woman's thighs tightly as she bucked her hips against her.

That was not the most surprising thing, however. Soifon looked on in disbelief at the sight before her.

It was her in bed with Yoruichi.

The woman that Yoruichi was currently making love to looked exactly like her in every detail.

"SOI!" Yoruichi screamed as she scrambled away from her bed, looking for anything to cover herself with, to hide under. Soifon did not respond.

"Did I do something to displease you, Yoruichi-sama?" The Soifon on the bed sat up, a shameful look on her face. "Please, tell me what I did wrong so that I may better please you!"

"Shut up!" Yoruichi screamed, though less shrill. Quickly, she grabbed a red and blues fingerless glove with a skull insignia on it and slapped the Soifon on the bed in the forehead. A small, greed orb about the size of a marble fell out of her mouth and she went limp on the bed.

"Soi, please, I can explain!" Yoruichi said in a panic. But Soifon did not respond.

When faced with new information, the mind can do one of two things. This can either fit the new information into its existing mental; construct, known as accommodation, or it can change the construct so that the information fits better, known as assimilation.

The sight that Soifon bore witness to was irreconcilable. So, in self preservation, Soifon's mind stopped processing it. The sight was so shocking that Soifon's brain stopped working.

Slowly, Soifon's posture relaxed as she sheathed Suzumebachi. Her eyes glazed over until she was just standing in the door frame, catatonic.

Yoruichi breathed a sigh of relief as she watched Soifon's eyes begin to move about the room. After Soifon walked in on Yoruichi, she basically just down. Carefully, Yoruichi had moved her to the couch in the living area.

Slowly, Soifon sat of from the couch. Yoruichi ho was sitting on the floor next to her crossed legged wearing an oversized t-shirt and a pair of hot pants, offered her a glass of water.

"Good, you're awake." Yoruichi said with audible relief. Soifon hadn't actually been asleep. Her eyes had remained open and glossed over for the better part of three hours, only blinking occasionally. "I thought I killed you for a minute."

Soifon took the glass form Yoruichi's hand and raised it to her mouth mechanically.

"What…did I…see…?" Soifon said in a quiet, monotone mumble.

"You see," Yoruichi began, her checks a deep red. "The exile hit me really hard. I missed you, a lot. I missed being around you, and talking to you, and the way you stammered and blushed." Yoruichi waxed nostalgically. "Kiuske picked up on this really quick. And since it was his fault that I had to leave the Siereitei, leave you, he decided to try and fix things."

"That pervert decided that the best thing to do wasn't to try and remedy the situation so that I could return, but to make a gigai that looked exactly like you and a mod soul to go with it." Soifon didn't respond or react, so Yoruichi continued.

"It first, I refused to have anything to do with it. But as soon as he popped that mod soul in and it gave me those big eyes and called me Yoruichi-sama, I was done." Yoruichi laughed wryly. "At first, I just used it to keep me company when I was lonely. I just talked to it. The mod soul was almost exactly like you, and for a while, I could forget that you were in another plane of existence and most likely hated me and wanted me dead." Yoruichi sighed heavily. "But, eventually, my curiosity got the better of me and it started keeping me company on some nights. It felt so real!" Yoruichi paused for a reaction, but got none.

"I've been bribing you subordinates to take pictures of you so that we could keep it up to date." Yoruichi confessed, a little unsure as to why.

"You've…been using…my…subordinates…to spy on me…so that…you could make…a sex doll…of…me?" Soifon said in a dispassionate monotone.

"Well, when you put it that way," Yoruichi smirked, trying to lighten the mood with a joke. It didn't work. "I understand if you're disgusted with me, I am. I just missed you so much that I couldn't stand it anymore." Yoruichi shook her head. "This was not how I planned for you to find out that I'm gay and in love with you at all." Yoruichi laughed lightly. 'But the cat's out of the bag now!" She looked for a response. "Get it? I can turn into a cat…and…" Yoruichi's voice trailed off.

"You're…in love…with me?" Soifon asked.

"I had planned to take things slow." Yoruichi confided. "I was just going to slip my orientation into casual conversation and gauge your reaction. I had always secretly suspected that you were gay too, so I figured that you would be okay with it. Then, I would subtly flirt with you and tease you, hinting that my intentions weren't so innocent." Yoruichi smiled wistfully. "But that's all put the window now."

"I…should go…" Soifon stood up robotically.

"Yeah, okay." Yoruichi sighed as she watched Soifon walk out of the Shoten.


Omeada didn't know what happened to his Captain on her last outing, but I couldn't have been good. But, bad news for one person often means good news for another.

Soifon had spent the last three days walking around like a zombie. She did her duties like a robot, with absolutely no feelings. It was as if she didn't care anymore.

This made life exponentially easier for Omeada. He could show up late for patrol and Soifon would comment, He could eat his crackers whenever he pleased and even say no to a direct order.

Soifon was finally the Captain Omeada always dreamed she would be.

The two were currently walking along one of the causeways in the Onmitsukod barracks. Omeada was munching on his crackers while Soifon was starring off into space, as usual.

Soifon's mind was slowly starting to reactivate itself. The shock of what she had witness was finally starting to wear off, and as a result, a key phrase that Yoruichi had said was finally sinking it.

This was not how I planned for you to find out that I'm gay and in love with you at all, Soifon's mind replayed.

The life in Soifon's eyes quickly returned as she literally did a double take.

"Wait, she whaa…?" Soifon gasped.

"Who's what?" Omeada asked.

"Watch over the divisions for a while, I have business to attend to in the World of the Living." Soifon said quickly before bolting to the Senkaimon.