26What Haru Did
by: RoyaleDeuce
Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine.
Warning: Crack-ish. Do not take it seriously to enjoy.
Picnics on breezy, sunny afternoons were the best. Particularly when two wicker baskets filled to the brim with assorted dishes and pastries were specially prepared for that day. However, no matter how perfect a day was for a picnic, if it was a school day, it would be futile; as much as they grovel, students aren't authorized to leave campus grounds.
Quite expectedly, an eccentric bundle of energy in the person of Miura Haru managed to defy gravity.
With a basket in each hand, she successfully slipped out of school and entered Namimori Middle School for a picnic with her favourite company of teenage Vongola. She made her appearance when she hopped down from a random Sakura tree during lunch break, almost giving Tsuna and Gokudera a heart attack. Despite her uncanny arrival, the four guardians, Kyoko, and Hana were delighted to discover Haru's purpose for that afternoon.
"This is delicious, Haru," Tsuna remarked after taking a bite from his steaming hot bean egg.
Haru melted into a puddle of goo at the comment, as if the 10th had actually declared his undying love for her, "Hahi! Haru can come here millions of times and cook for Tsuna-san if he wants me to!" she exclaimed excitedly then paused. "Ah! Except Tuesdays! Because Haru has a commitment that afternoon!"
"It's nice of you to give us a picnic, Haru-chan. I hope you haven't encountered any trouble coming over," Kyoko smiled.
"No problemo!" Haru gave Kyoko a thumbs-up. "Haru likes coming over!"
"Ah, just be careful when coming here, Haru," Yamamoto said, nibbling on a piece of toasted bread. "Don't get caught," he said with a thoughtful grin.
"Why do you care anyway, baseball freak?" Gokudera snapped, grabbing a drumstick from the plate. "So what if the stupid woman got caught by Hibari? Good riddance— hey!"
"Hahi, then don't eat!" Haru snatched the chicken away from the Storm Guardian and replaced it back on the plate. She folded her arms right after and heaved an indignant huff. "And what about Hibari-san? It's not like he's superhuman and has eyes all over the school! Haru's ninja!"
Haru continued her blabber, totally unaware of the growing alarm on her friends' faces.
"…He's not Kami to dictate what Haru ought to do and ought not to do!"
"H-Haru—"
"…Just because he looks scary with his beady eyes and stupid tonfas, doesn't mean he's someone to be afraid of!"
"Haru-chan—"
"He's just a poor, misunderstood boy who's afraid of crowds because he can put the smell of I-Pin's gyoza to shame with his breath—"
"Breaking into this school is unforgivable…"
Haru froze and slowly looked up.
Hibari was glaring daggers at her, his tonfas ready to strike any moment. "I'll bite you to death."
"Hahi!" Haru exclaimed all of a sudden, having the audacity to pull Hibari down beside her and shove a random food container to his chest. "Anyway, Haru needs to go! It was nice seeing you all again, bye!"
And she was out of school grounds faster than lightning.
There was a moment of awkward silence as everyone watched Hibari sit as still as a statue and stare at the food container on his lap. They flinched away when the Discipline Head made his first movement of opening the tupperware, which turned out to contain kimchi.
"W-Why don't you have some?" Tsuna offered in an attempt to ease the mounting tension.
So brave, everyone had in their mind.
Hibari snapped his head towards Tsuna so suddenly that the young Vongola boss almost peed in his pants.
"My breath will stink," was all he said before leaving.
It was Tuesday afternoon.
As compensation for the expenses in her weekly picnic visits in Namimori Middle School, Haru had to wear a gigantic and very yellow costume in the local park to advertise the newly opened candy parlour downtown. Others would have deemed it an arduous job, considering the fact that she had to parade around the enormous recreational area in such a heavy outfit while repeatedly saying, "Eat Sweet Treats, Tweet Tweet!" and doing a chicken dance whenever there was a horde of children.
But despite the outrageous requests of her employer, Haru loved her job.
Not only did her work involve kids, but she got to wear an incredibly 'kawaii' bird costume.
"Mr. Birdie, I want a balloon, please, please, please!"
"Candy! I want some candy, waaah~!"
"Hey, mister! Can you wiggle your butt feathers again?"
"Hahi! One at a time, children!" Haru laughed pleasantly, a bag of sweets in her left hand and a bunch of balloons held by her right. "Birdie won't do anything unless you all fall in line!"
The children were quick to follow the brunette's command, very much eager to receive a free candy and balloon. The line was extremely long, and Haru swore it wasn't getting any shorter; her audience ranged from toddlers to middle school students as old as she. And aside from the give away, the people in the vicinity demanded to see another chicken dance, so she had no choice but to comply for fear of losing her job. An hour passed before the crowd considerably decreased. It wasn't long before she was down to her last two patrons.
"Eat Sweet Treats, Tweet Tweet! Here's you free candy!" she chirped, dropping a sweet in the hands of a little boy.
"Thank you, mister birdie!" the kid smiled and happily sauntered off after his mother.
"Eat Sweet Treats, Tweet Tweet! You get the last— hahi!"
A certain Cloud Guardian was standing in front of her, his gaze every bit penetrating.
Haru would have died right there and then out of shock.
What the hell was Hibari doing in here?!
"Uhm…" she started awkwardly, unsure of what to say, "… you… want a candy?"
"Come with me or I'll bite you to death," Hibari growled.
This is punishment for yesterday! Haru thought hysterically, considering all possible escape routes. She pointed at the sky. "Hahi! There's a bird!"
Hibari looked up.
And then she ran.
"Manager-san's going to kill Haru," Haru dropped her head on her knees after plopping down on the riverbank. "Goodbye, Birdie-chan."
She had been running around for almost an hour. Now that she thought about it, it was silly of her to think she would be able to run away from the wrath of Vongola's Cloud Guardian, counting that he was indeed a Guardian and possessed an alien ability to pop out of nowhere at any given moment. Currently, she was absolutely drained.
"But then again, he couldn't have known it was Haru wearing Birdie-chan," she mumbled to herself, "If that's the case, then why would he run after Birdie-chan?"
Haru thought for a long time.
"Maybe… Hibari-san is obsessed with birds," she concluded, pondering over their earlier encounter. "Why else would he have fallen for Haru's trick?"
At that moment, a small, yellow bird settled on her arm.
"Cute!" she gushed almost immediately, petting the little bird. "Hello, little one!
The birdling began to sing a solemn tune, much to Haru's utmost amusement.
"Bravo!" the brunette clapped, giggling at her unexpected source of entertainment. "What's your name?" she asked, hoping that the bird could talk, too.
"Hibird."
Haru exploded into another bout of applause. "Hahi, a talking bird! Wonderful! What else can you do?"
"I'll bite you to death."
Haru froze.
"Did you actually think you can escape me, Hibird's kaa-san?"
"Hibari-san—" Haru did a double take. She looked over her shoulder and regarded the very vexed boy glaring at her. Hibird's kaa-san?! After a moment's hesitation, "Tweet! Tweet!" she chirped, now on her feet.
Hibari's eyes narrowed even more.
"T-Tweet, tweet!" Haru was starting to sweat profusely as she flapped her wings up and down. "Tweet, tweet!"
Hibari watched the massive bird continue her little exhibition of wildly flailing and skipping about before he grunted, "Are you done?"
At that, Haru ceased her dancing and bowed at the Cloud Guardian, "Tweet?"
With his piercing glare, Hibari calculatingly regarded Mr. Birdie in front of him. If looks could kill, Haru knew she was a bloody mess on the grass by now.
"Come to Namimori Middle School tomorrow," he instructed, tossing a piece of paper towards her general direction.
Haru caught it before it landed on the ground. "Hahi?"
It was a calling card.
By the time she got over her surprise and was ready to bombard Hibari with questions, the Vongola Cloud Guardian and his little bird named Hibird were nowhere to be found.
Haru had been standing in front of the Disciplinary Committee's office for a while now. She had thought long and hard whether she ought to appear before Hibari or not. But after it dawned on her that he would probably really bite her to death if she dared disregard his command, she decided to appear in Namimori Middle School the next day – alas, without the outfit. Because she failed to return to the ice cream parlour at the end of her shift, she was suspended from work for an entire week. It distressed her that so many things prevented her from having an enjoyable picnic with the others.
This sucks, Haru rapped her knuckles on the door.
Knock Knock
"Enter," came a voice from inside.
Taking a deep breath, she plucked up her remaining courage and opened the door.
"What are you doing here?"
The temperature dropped to zero degrees the moment she stepped inside the room.
"Hahi! Y-You asked Haru to come here!" Haru stuttered, plastering herself on the nearest wall in case she there was a need to flee.
"What?" Hibari stood up, his tonfas glistening in the sunlight.
"H-Hibird! Remember Hibird's Kaa-san?! That's Haru!"
Hibari warily gazed at the hysterical girl in his office. "Prove it."
He's going to bite Haru to death. He's going to bite Haru to death. He's going to bite Haru to death, she repeated like a mantra. With this, she gathered whatever was left of her courage, pushed herself away from the wall… and began to flap her arms up and down.
"Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet~!" Haru sang, her face burning from embarrassment.
Hibari's eyes never left Haru that it made her wonder whether the Discipline Head had a morbid fascination with birds.
"Stop."
Haru was delighted to end her five minutes of humiliation.
"I want you to sing the Namimori Middle School anthem."
Say what?! "Uhm…" Haru's eyes darted from side to side. "H-Haru's…" Not your pet, idiot! "…not familiar with the song— why not let Hibird teach Haru?"
"Animals aren't allowed inside the school building," Hibari said without missing a beat.
"Okaaay…" Haru sighed. "Then Haru doesn't have to do it—"
"No, listen," Hibari commanded… before singing all-out.
To say that Haru was surprised was understatement. What she felt bordered between extreme mortification of having to witness such a display and utter fright of the fruits of his vocals, which in all honesty, sounded more like a morose, howling banshee. Haru tried her best to look as if she was enjoying it though, humming and drumming her fingers to the tune.
She would rather endure his horrible singing, if you can even call it singing, than have him bite her to death.
"Yaaay…" she clapped enthusiastically after he sang the last note. "Wondeful, Hibari-san!" she cried, trying to get to Hibari's good side.
"Now sing." But it didn't work.
"Hahi! B-Before Haru sings, Haru wants to know why she's doing this!" the brunette demanded with her mind in frenzy. "This is human rights violation!"
I want my picnic… she thought frustrated.
Hibari merely blinked at her, as if she was stupid. "You'll be coming here often now."
Haru blinked back, "Hah?"
"NICE PITCH TO THE EXTREME, YAMAMOTO!" Ryohei roared from the bleachers.
It was the Namimori Middle School's baseball finals that day. The crowd was wild as Yamamoto ran around the field, heading for first base. Tsuna, Gokudera, Ryohei, Kyoko, and Hana were seated in the sidelines, present as the Rain Guardian's explosive cheering squad. Hibari was not too far off, watching at the top most bleachers.
"Too bad Haru couldn't come for Yamamoto-san's game," Kyoko said regretfully.
"At least she'll be here for the picnic," Tsuna responded, smiling at the girl beside him.
"What the hell is with that bird?" Gokudera grumbled. "It's blocking my view."
"What a lame choice for a mascot," Hana muttered, eyeing an enormous yellow figure dancing on the sidelines of the stadium.
"Think of picnic… picnic… picnic…"Haru mumbled while flapping her wings around. That jerk, Hibari-san! He'll get it someday. she moaned.
Hibari's lips twitched upward as he watched Namimori Middle School's new mascot do her chicken dance.
A/N: My first Hibaru/Haru, lol. Gosh, I missed writing crack. So how was it? Thanks for reading. (:))