Chapter 2

The second instalment of Pink Plants and The Constables Pants.

Note = Charles and Lupin Pooter are fictional characters from Punch a VERY old British magazine which was started in 1841. Charles and Lupin Pooter were a father and son duo and were in the Punch magazine from 1888 till 1889.


"It's not funny you two!" Addie called to her two best friends, George and Henry.

"Oh but it is!" Henry snickered like a silly school boy.

"IT IS NOT!" Addie yelled from behind a shop curtain.

"Well... was then." George attempted to reason with her.

Addie stepped out from the curtain wearing a deep blue skirt and a white blouse.

"How the bleedin' hell am I going to tell the Guv, that I accidentally destroyed my uniform?"

"Don't."

"Henry you aren't helping!"

"It was just a suggestion!" Henry held up his hands in the form of a surrender.

"Well neither is the Detective!" George protested for his friend, pointing to Detective William Murdoch.

"What?" William looked blankly at the trio. All three rolled their eyes.

"How did you even manage to rip your trousers anyway?" George asked.

"You don't know what happened?" Addie asked

"Henry here was too busy being plagued by constant bouts of laughing fits."

Henry snickered again. Addie elbowed him in the stomach making him cough.

"Owch!"

"Tis your own stupid fault!"Addie pouted. "Anyway, I suppose you'll laugh when I'm done."

"Addie get on with it!"

Addie huffed, but still got on with the story.

"Henry and I were on duty, patroling around Hackney and Hampstead and this shop, just talking to Detective Murdoch about the case when out of no where the prime suspect, tears past us with a womans purse. So naturally we persue him. Well it was all going fine untill, Henry here chased him to some gardens and we had to jump over the fences. My trouser leg got caught on one of the tips on the fence and it ripped all the way up to my hip."

Untill then Henry had managed to suppress his laughter, but then as the tale of ripped trousers came to an end he was laughing like mad man.

"Henry it wasn't funny!" Addie growled, making her friend stop laughing. "It cut all up my leg! What happens if it gets infected? I would have to have me leg off!"

"Sorry... But it was jolly funny!"

"HENRY HIGGINS IT WAS NOT FUNNY!" Addie shouted, "It was a good job, it was your landlady's house Henry! Other wise I'd be a bit stumped for a uniform."

"At least there's an upside!" Henry said optimistically.

"Oh and what would that be Higgins?" William asked innocently.

"Well sir the lads and George and I sir, we have a competition." Henry informed his superior.

"We guess what colour Addie's, ahem," George began out loud, then whispered in William's ear, "We try to guess what colour Addie's under wear is. At the end of the week she tell us what they are and who ever has guessed the right colour wins."

William looked taken aback at the trio.

"Addie I didn't think you'd engage in games as..." he struggled to find the right words, " Inelegant as these!"

"It isn't voluntary!" Addie protested. "Any way thats not the worst of it! The person with the most wins by the end of two months gets to take me out for the day... It's mostly Charles and Lupin Pooter over there that win! Mind you, hasn't gone anywhere though. Thank goodness."

William still looked shocked and appaulled, with a hint of dispare in his eyes. His station, Station 4 was going mad. The constables wore dresses, wrestled pigs, looked at womens underwear and George even had his own theory. The George Crabtree theory; rediculous ideas about the future and case and not believing in some thing, but open mind as to what goes on in the world. At any rate this was un-acceptable.


Some days had passed since Addie's unfortunate situation. At first the lads had laughed, but that was onld news now. Henry's landlady had kindly offered to sew her uniform up for her, because she was seeing new faces. Addie didn't mind spending a few hours talking to the old woman. She was really very nice. During her talks with the old woman, Addie would be coming up with ways to apologize to Henry and George for shouting at them, and subsiquently hitting them after they said some thing rude.

The next day, George and Henry were sitting, talking about... well rubbish really. They were only stopped by Addie. She was standing in front of them, arms out-streched, holding two brown bags in each hand. One aimed at George and one at Henry. The two men looked at each other in confusion.

"I bought you doghnuts, jam suprise..." Addie paused in thought. "Oh bugger, I've ruined the suprise now!"

George and Henry chuckled at her.

"Still," Addie carried on "It could be custard or chocolate or the ones with holes in."

Addie paused once more.

"No, it's jam."

Her friends took the bags gratefully. Addie perched her self on the edge of George's desk.

"What did you get them for?" Henry asked, looking up at Addie.

"Ahhhh... I felt bad for hitting you. You know I can't do anything bad or painful to any one with out feeling guilty about it!" Addie sighed.

"You shouldn't worry about it. We shouldn't have said that. Thanks for these anyway."

Addie smiled at her friends. Her best friends. Idiots as they were she was happy to have them.


Due to writers block and a very bad story line I won't be finishing off this story, but feel free to R&R all the same thanks