Itachi and Kisame walked through the forest, after sealing the four tailed Jinchuriki. The duo had also received word that Orochimaru had been killed by Sasuke, who was now after Itachi. The older Uchiha stayed silent, staring dead ahead of himself. Kisame looked to his partner, examining his face for a moment. Kisame knew Itachi well enough to know when his partner was brooding. Not the normal brooding either, the quite, contemplating something brooding. He was planning to face his brother. Sasuke beat Orochimaru. Itachi did the same thing a few years back. If they fought, there was no guarantee that Itachi would survive. Kisame sighed heavily, staring down to the ground he walked on.
"What's wrong," Itachi questioned.
"It's nothing," Kisame answered. The shark man looked up, noticing that Itachi hadn't even turned around. Kisame twitched irritably. He could at least pretend he cared for once. "It's just, I've been thinking…" Itachi turned his head, glancing back at his partner. Kisame never thought…about anything. He usually swung his sword and called it a day. "I know you're planning to fight Sasuke." Itachi blinked and widened his eyes with shock. When was Kisame this observant? "There's no certain way to know if you're going to make it through the fight or not…you're going to have to be at the top of your game Itachi."
"Kisame, there are things you don't understand that-,"
"Your eyesight needs to be improved," Kisame continued as he pulled out a baggie. Itachi stared at the familiar grass in the bag with bewilderment. "So, we'll smoke a little and-,"
"NO! Never again," Itachi shouted. "You remember what happened the last time we smoked that?"
"Uh…I don't remember what happened during, but I remember our punishment from Leader."
"We tried to kill Zetsu!"
"That guy's a big baby. 'Oh Itachi kicked me in the face, Kisame almost struck me with his sword, Itachi used Amaterasu on me. Oh whoa is me!' Come on Itachi, what's the worst they can do? We're down more than half of our manpower, they can't afford to punish us like children. Just one cigarette, just ONE." Itachi groaned and shook his head.
"Fine, but just one!" Kisame grinned his sharp toothed grin then pulled out a giant lump of grass. "Hey, no way, that's way too much!"
"You said one cigarette, we never agreed how much." Itachi sighed heavily as Kisame started rolling the grass in a torn off bandage from his sword. "Care for a light?" Itachi cracked a smirk before exhaling a tiny fireball, lighting the end of the cigarette.
Kisame chuckled like a child as he placed the cigarette between his lips and took a long drag. The shark coughed furiously as he handed it off to Itachi. The blue skinned man fell on his rear in a heap, still coughing but grinning with a dastardly look. Itachi took a hit, stifling his coughs as he gently sat down across from his partner. Kisame grinned at his partner, who only blew out a cloud of smoke.
"What're you smiling at?"
"I always smile man," Kisame replied, taking the cigarette from Itachi.
"Are you already high?" Kisame coughed as he took another hit, shaking his head and wheezing while still smiling.
"Not yet, but I do always smile." Itachi shrugged in agreement, taking the roll from his partner. "Hey Itachi, what was your life like before joining Akatsuki?" Itachi exhaled, coughing twice before handing it off.
"Crap. I had to try and please my father by being the best, and he told me to spy on the village, and then the village told me to spy on my clan." Kisame took a hit, exhaling slowly. "And then a bunch of old people ordered me to murder my clan…so yeah, it sucked."
"Dang, I didn't know the massacre was an order," Kisame muttered. The shark ninja handed the cigarette back to Itachi.
"Yeah…it's supposed to be secret though, so don't tell anyone." Itachi inhaled deeply, holding his breath as he removed the cigarette from his lips.
"You got it buddy. Awe man, I can't wait to tell Deidara about this!"
"No, dude, it's a secret!" Kisame watched as smoke came out of Itachi's mouth with every word he said. The blue Akatsuki member blinked a few times in confusion then thought for a moment.
"So…I can't tell Deidara? But I tell him everything! Even about when you use to wet the bed as a kid." Itachi's head nearly exploded as he took another puff. Smoke flew out of his mouth as he pounded his chest, trying to clear his throat. Kisame snickered as his teammate nearly choked to death.
"You asshole! You told him that?"
"Dude, he and I are gossip buddies." Kisame took the cigarette as Itachi handed it to him. "You and Sasori were gossip buddies right?"
"No, we just collected stamps! We always compared out collections!" Kisame snickered, his body shaking heavily.
"Dude, you collect stamps? I can't wait to tell Deidara!"
"You do and I'll tell Sasori about your 'experimenting' in swordsmen camp!" This time, Kisame's head nearly exploded as he started coughing madly, almost throwing the cigarette to the ground before Itachi quickly took the roll.
"You wouldn't dare tell Sasori about…wait…Sasori is dead…" Itachi blinked a few times in disbelief, thinking things over.
"Damn, how long has he been dead?" Itachi took a long drag of the cigarette.
"Must be going on a year now…"
Itachi exhaled a long trail of smoke, "Damn…" Itachi took another quick hit then handed the cigarette off to Kisame. "Hey, what was your life like before you joined Akatsuki?"
"Awe it was great! I did what I wanted, when I wanted, who I wanted! I even thought about opening an amusement park with blackjack and hookers. But I said screw the blackjack…then I said screw the whole thing. But I didn't do anything wrong! So sometimes I got drunk in a few bars and spoke a little bit too loudly about some of the village's secrets, that doesn't mean its espionage! It means I'm a loud drunk! And don't even get me started on that feudal lord thing! That guy shouldn't have been flaunting his money! Just throwing millions out to the poor! I just took one handful and his guards try to take it away! Have you seen how big I am! I'm a freaking huge man that's part shark! A shark-man has to eat too ya know!"
"Yeah, I mean sharks eat a lot, and you're a really big dude. That's like…eight times the food consumption of a grown man."
"Exactly! So I had to rough up a few guards, and maybe a hobo or two got in the way along with the feudal lord. It's still not my fault! Have you seen the size of this sword? With someone wielding this thing you think they'd clear out!"
"Yeah man, I mean that sword's bigger than me."
"Hey, how funny would it be if I used you as a sword?" Itachi snickered then stood up.
"Dude, let's try it!"
"No way man, I'm gonna bust your face on a tree." Itachi giggled then sat down.
"Yeah okay." Kisame took a drag of the cigarette then handed it off to Itachi. "Hey, could I use your sword sometime?"
"I don't think so buddy, this thing would poke holes straight through your hand." Itachi whined as he fell on his back, staring up at the sky.
"Hey Kisame…" The shark man hummed as Itachi took a hit of the grass. The Uchiha exhaled then let his hand fall stretched out far from his body. "What's it like being blue?"
"It's not an easy life kid," Kisame replied as he rolled up his own joint. "People point and laugh, women only want you to see if it's like some type of weird tan line, people point and laugh, you kill some kids in a drunken rage…shit happens when you're blue…"
"Sounds rough…so," Itachi rolled over, holding himself up on his arms, "you've killed kids?"
"Not cute kids," Kisame replied. "More like those annoying kids, ya know the ones that just whine and bitch about not getting a treat or something. And those annoying teenagers who talk back to their parents like they know everything."
"Awe I hate those kids," Itachi screamed. "I wish I could kill them but I'm a pacifist."
"Say WHAT?" Kisame fell forward, holding himself up on his elbows. "You're a pacifist, but you killed your entire clan?"
"It doesn't make sense does it? But hell, I did it and I'm that much more of a badass for it!" Kisame took a puff and nodded. Itachi also inhaled deeply. The duo exhaled at the same time, combining the two clouds of smoke together. Kisame snickered while Itachi giggled, "That's so cool ain't it?"
"Two clouds of smoke…they combine together to make one cloud of smoke…ya know the villages could learn something from this cloud…"
"Totally…they should pay attention to this stuff."
"What stuff," Kisame asked.
"That stuff," Itachi replied, falling backwards onto his elbows.
"What stuff," Kisame asked again.
"That stuff," Itachi answered, pointing to the cloud of smoke. Kisame turned his head and looked to the sky. There was a squirrel sitting on a tree branch, eating a nut.
"No, not that stuff. Look closer to that stuff." Kisame trailed his sight down the tree, seeing a deer walking by.
"No, this stuff!" Kisame turned around as the cloud of smoke disappeared. "Now the stuff is gone!"
"We still got this stuff," Kisame replied, holding up his joint.
"This is good stuff."
"Very good stuff," the shark man corrected.
"Not like killing kids and stuff…"
"Or wetting the bed and collect stamps stuff…" Itachi narrowed his eyes then took another drag at the same time Kisame did. "Did you seriously collect that stuff?"
"No, but I did wet my bed stuff."
"You're blue…and stuff…"
"AH HA! FOUND YOU!" Kisame and Itachi looked up, seeing a blonde with blue eyes and whisker marks on his cheeks land in front of the Akatsuki duo. "Uh oh…" Naruto looked back and forth between the partners. "Both of you…"
"Hey it's that blonde guy," Kisame exclaimed happily.
"He's got that demon and stuff right?" Kisame nodded once. "So…we're supposed to capture him and stuff…maybe it'll be easier with this stuff."
"What the hell is the matter with you two," Naruto asked.
"Nothing Naruto, come here and try this stuff." The Jinchuriki stepped back, staring questioningly at the Akatsuki members. "Come on, we won't bite…though I'd keep your distance from Kisame." The blue Akatsuki member snapped his teeth once. Naruto yelped and jumped back.
"What the hell? Aren't you two supposed to be capturing me!"
"We're chillin dude," Kisame replied. "Join us man, we're not here to make war right now. Just sit down and take a hit." Naruto remained where he was, too skeptical to even twitch. "I don't think he likes us Itachi…" The black haired Akatsuki member lied on his back and extended his feet to Kisame.
"You know what to do big guy," Itachi replied, snickering quietly to himself.
"Dude," Kisame shouted before giggling. "This is gonna be sweet!"
Kisame grabbed one of Itachi's ankles then lunged at Naruto. The Jinchuriki screamed with fear as Kisame planted a foot into the ground and swung Itachi. Naruto ducked just as Itachi flew right above his head. Kisame let go of Itachi's ankle, allowing his partner to grab Naruto from behind and stick the cigarette in the boy's mouth. Naruto shook his head around, trying to resist. Kisame came up and held Naruto's head still. The Jinchuriki then screamed and shouted, looking on with fear as the unknown roll of grass came closer to his mouth. The tip of it made its way between Naruto's lips, but the blonde started breathing heavily through his nose.
"Dude, not cool," Itachi said before pinching Naruto's nose shut.
The blonde closed his eyes, trying to hold his breath. After a few moments, Naruto gave up and took a long drag to try and get Itachi and Kisame off him. It worked, as they both released Naruto, letting him fall to his hands and knees, fitfully coughing. Itachi and Kisame busted up laughing as they looked down at Naruto. Itachi was laughing so hard that he was working his legs like he was running. Kisame slapped his face to his forehead and put the other to his side as he laughed at both Itachi and Naruto. The Jinchuriki's shoulders started shaking as he started laughing as well as coughing.
"Dudes, sh-sh-sh-shut the fuck up," Naruto wheezed. This caused the trio to laugh even harder. "What is that stuff?"
"This stuff," Kisame asked, holding up his rolled up joint.
"That stuff," Naruto confirmed with a nod.
"It's good stuff," Itachi answered.
"But what's it called and stuff," Naruto questioned.
"Weed," the Akatsuki partners replied in unison.
"Why weed? Why not good stuff?"
"Good question," Kisame replied. "Who names this stuff?"
"People who find this stuff," Itachi guessed with a shrug.
"Deep stuff man," Kisame responded, nodding slowly with his eyes narrowed.
"You got more of that stuff," Naruto asked.
"You want your own one with this stuff," Itachi questioned.
"Hell yeah…and stuff!"
"Kisame, go get him this stuff!" The shark-man scampered off, tearing a piece of the bandaging off of his sword and rolling it around a clump of grass.
"I got the stuff!" Kisame ran up and handed it to Naruto.
"Do I need fire or hot stuff?"
"I am hot stuff," Itachi boasted, "And I can bring the FI-YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Itachi made a series of hand signs then exhaled a huge ball of fire upon the tip of the cigarette.
"Dude, that was sweet," Kisame exclaimed.
"Yeah, and unlike Amaterasu, that fire doesn't fuck my eyes up! Awe shit!" Itachi started blinking rapidly, rubbing his eye. "I think a piece of ash got in my eye man!"
"That sucks dude," Naruto replied before taking a long drag. "Kisame, use your water jutsus to help."
"Sure thing buddy!" Kisame squirted out a stream of water like a fountain in Itachi's eye.
"Awe dude, are you spitting in his eye," Naruto asked. Kisame's 'jutsu' started to break due to him and Naruto both laughing. Itachi rubbed his eye some more with his now wet hands.
"Dudes, how's my eye?" Kisame leaned forward, examining his partner's eye for a second before jumping back and screaming. "WHAT? What is it?"
"Dude, your eye is red!" Itachi started screaming as he covered his eye.
"Oh no, my vision! It's all blurry and stuff!" Itachi started screaming hysterically, thrashing his head around as if he'd catch a clear patch of scenery. Kisame started muttering over and over 'what can I do,' as he paced around the panicking Itachi.
"Wait, wait, wait," Naruto shouted. "You have the Sharingan right?" Itachi and Kisame both froze, staring wide eyed at Naruto. Itachi nodded once. "And that Mangekyo Sharingan makes you lose your eyesight over time right?"
"Where are you going with this," Itachi asked.
"YEAH! Quit leaving me in suspense!"
"Your eye is red because you have your Sharingan activated, and your eyesight is blurred because you use it too much!"
"Oh," Itachi and Kisame exclaimed. The trio then started laughing uncontrollably, falling on their backs. Naruto, Itachi, and Kisame took a long drag from their cigarettes then stared at the sky.
"Hey you guys," Naruto piped up between coughs. The Akatsuki partners looked over at Naruto. "Why are you guys trying to hunt me down so much?"
"I think our leader wants to open a petting zoo," Itachi answered. Kisame snickered, smoking coming out of his nose and mouth. Naruto rolled on his front, trying to hold back his laughter as he stared at a grinning Itachi.
"A petting zoo," Naruto asked, "With those big animals? That'd be fucking sweet!"
"I know right," Kisame shouted. "That's why Akatsuki is so awesome!"
"Speak for yourself," Naruto hissed, taking another hit. "You guys have tried to capture me several times before remember!"
"Right," Kisame agreed with a shameful nod.
"Why always the fighting," Itachi asked with a shrug.
"Yeah man, just mellow out," Naruto added. "Have you guys ever tried asking the Jinchuriki to come along instead of killing people and blowing shit up?"
"I tried with you man," Itachi snapped. "But you were all like 'no I'm not coming with you evil Itachi! Rasengan!' That shit hurts my feelings ya know…"
"Yeah, you two are from the same village ya know! And Itachi only killed his clan because he was ordered to by some old guys!"
"What old guys?"
"Just some old guys," Itachi replied, waving his hand dismissively.
"Old man Hokage guys?" Itachi nodded once, causing Naruto to gasp with shock. "Not THAT old man guy!"
"Him, the rest of the old council, and that old dude with one eye and one arm."
"Hanzo," Kisame questioned.
"No, that's the leader of the rain village."
"You mean Danzo that old guy who hides underground?"
"Orochimaru," Kisame asked bewildered.
"No," Itachi snapped as Kisame took a hit.
"But Orochimaru is like, fifty, and he lives underground and stuff."
"He's dead though isn't he," Naruto asked. The Akatsuki partners nodded. "Sweet. Hey, does either of you guys know what my mission was? I know I was supposed to do something, but I can't think of it right now."
"Chase after Sasuke," Kisame guessed. "You've been doing that for the better part of three and a half years now…"
"Yeah, what the hell man," Itachi snapped. "He's my brother and he treated you like shit!" The black haired Akatsuki member took a long drag then continued with smoke coming out of his mouth and nose, "You should be trying to get a girlfriend or something!"
"Or trying to take down Akatsuki," Kisame muttered. "Seriously, how concerned is your Hokage with getting Sasuke back?"
"Not very," Naruto murmured. "She sent twenty shinobi out to just go after two Akatsuki members." Itachi and Kisame coughed fitfully as clouds of smoke came from their mouths.
"Twenty," Itachi wheezed.
"For who," Kisame asked.
"That one dude with the scythe and the dude who looked like a zombie Zabuza." Kisame snickered, his shoulders shaking slightly.
"Still, twenty? How many do you have coming on the mission you're on now?" Naruto looked up, counting each person one by one.
"Eight," Naruto finally answered.
"And what's the mission," Itachi questioned. Naruto looked up, scrunching his face while his ran through his mind.
"Capture Itachi Uchiha…HEY that's you!"
"Yeah, you notice how she sends waves of shinobi after us," Kisame questioned. "How often has she sent other shinobi out to look for Sasuke?"
"Aside from my team," Naruto asked. Kisame and Itachi nodded. "Zero."
"Maybe you see a pattern here," Itachi wondered before taking another hit.
"Alright fine, next time I see that Sasuke I'm gonna beat the fuck out of him!"
"Save some for me too," Itachi exclaimed. "That little brooding punk needs to be taught a lesson or three!"
"I'll join ya guys! Granted I have nothing against Sasuke, but you guys don't like him, and I have a good feeling about you guys."
"Damn straight you got a good feeling about us," Naruto shouted. The Jinchuriki took the longest drag so far then started coughing, "Believe it!" The trio got up then started walking, still smoking their cigarettes as they moved through the forest.
The trio walked through for hours and the sun was setting quickly behind the horizon. The baked group hardly noticed as they mindlessly looked through the dark forest to try and find Sasuke. Within the shadows lurked four enemies that were watching their prey. One figure shot out first, screaming as he moved towards Kisame. The shark-man bended over backwards, now doing a crabwalk as his opponent flew over him. A boy in white with a purple tank-top skidded to a halt, wielding a giant sword in his hands.
"Hey, Zabuza," Kisame exclaimed happily. Naruto and Itachi turned around, seeing the angry white haired boy.
"That's not Zabuza," Naruto shouted, aiming a finger of accusation at the boy.
"How do you know," Kisame asked.
"Zabuza didn't have pointy teeth! He wore a mask!"
"What're you stupid," the white haired boy asked. Kisame, who was still staring upside down, narrowed his eyes on the boy.
"Hey, you're right! And Zabuza had spiky hair!" Naruto crossed his arms and nodded over and over.
"Now would be a good time to join assholes," the white haired boy called out.
Three figures shot out from the bushes. One was a large young man with orange hair who went for Naruto while the other was a young girl with red hair and glasses who went after Kisame and the last was none other than Sasuke Uchiha. Naruto looked down and squatted to the ground, staring at a caterpillar that was inching by. The orange haired boy flew over the Jinchuriki and smashed into a tree, which he knocked over. The young girl tried stabbing Kisame with a kunai, but the shark-man, without taking his eyes off the white haired boy, grabbed her wrist and held her firmly in place. Sasuke swung his sword, beheading his brother with a sadistic grin. Itachi's head flew up above his body a few inches, before it molded into a crow. Sasuke scowled angrily as the crow flew up and pecked Sasuke's eye.
"OW! Fuck!" Kisame and Naruto started snickering as Itachi's head popped up from his shoulders, grinning like a mischievous child. Sasuke, with a hand over his poked eye, glared at the three snickering shinobi. "What's so funny!"
"Hey Itachi," Kisame called out, looking at the redhead, "It looks like this girl got in a fight with a comb and won…and then lost the second round!" The trio started snickering uncontrollably. Sasuke and company stared at the group with confusion.
"How is that funny," the redhead asked.
"Hell if I know Karin, but they're making fun of you."
"Fuck off Suigetsu!"
"Oh shit," Itachi shouted, "Kisame, it's the boss!" The shark-man looked at Jugo, staring at the hair style and color, but then stared at his eyes.
"Man, you need to stop using that blinding Sharingan so much," Kisame shouted. "That kid doesn't have the boss's eyes!" Itachi scrunched his face, narrowing his eyes to focus in.
"Oh hey, you're right…"
"Itachi," Sasuke shouted. "Face me!" Itachi turned around, his arms flopping around like noodles. Sasuke scowled angrily, clenching his fists tightly. "Stop acting like this and get serious!"
"Uh…" Itachi looked to his old partner, and his new partner then back at Sasuke. "Okay, okay, I'm good. Let's do this, come on buddy." Itachi slouched over, his arms still hanging limply at his side.
Sasuke growled angrily then lunged forward. The younger Uchiha brother raised his sword high above his head then swung downward, slicing his brother down the middle. The two halves broke up into a flock of crows, flying towards Sasuke and slapping him with their wings. Sasuke screamed angrily, trying to shield himself from the feathery smacks. One clump of crows gathered together to form Itachi's arm. Sasuke couldn't see, but he sure felt it when the back of Itachi's hand smacked him across the face. The younger brother fell to his hands and knees as the crows flew into the air. Itachi walked out from behind a nearby tree, snickering to himself. Sasuke scowled angrily as he swung upward at his brother. Itachi pulled back, bonking the back of his head against a tree. Itachi started laughing along with Naruto and Kisame who were watching. Suigetsu let out a few weak chuckles, finding amusement in the unorthodox fight. Sasuke swung at Itachi's head again. The older brother ducked as Sasuke cleaved a straight line through the tree. Itachi spun around then placed his foot against the three, and thrusted his upper body forward with his fists impacting Sasuke's stomach. The younger Uchiha flew back and hit painfully into a tree.
"Sasuke," Karin shrieked.
"Hey, shut up and finish combing your hair," Naruto exclaimed.
"Nice," Kisame shouted, slapping hands with the Jinchuriki.
"Yeah, and you," Naruto pointed to Suigetsu. "What the hell are you doing grave robbing Zabuza? That guy may have been a bad guy, but he still was really cool! And you," Naruto pointed to Jugo, "What the hell are you here for? You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn! Not only that, but you couldn't hit me either! And you Sasuke!" The young Uchiha glared angrily over at Naruto, who was struggling to stay balanced. "You…you just suck man!"
"HA! You said he sucks man," Itachi yelled. Kisame cackled hysterically along with Naruto while Itachi only snickered. Sasuke screamed angrily as he rushed Naruto in blind anger.
The raven haired Uchiha swung downward at Naruto, aiming for the neck. Naruto spun around, narrowly avoiding the blade. Sasuke looked over, seeing a Rasengan in Naruto's hand which was coming straight towards him. The Uchiha jumped in the air, managing to avoid the chakra ball by a mile. Naruto spun around, his Rasengan impacting the ground which resulted in an explosion. The boom sent Naruto flying through the air, spinning around and around at a wild rate. Sasuke's eyes widened with shock as he prepared himself. Even the boy's Sharingan had trouble keeping track of Naruto's speed. Sasuke started to bring his sword up to bare, but before he knew it, Naruto was already too close. The blonde used his hand and hit the broad side of Sasuke's sword, knocking it downward and out of the way. Sasuke angrily looked on as Naruto was staring directly up at the sky, but was still propelled at him. Naruto brought his fist down on the back of Sasuke's head with enough power to rival Sakura. Sasuke flew towards the ground and landed face-first in a second. The Uchiha's head was stuck within the ground as Naruto hit the ground and rolled on his back, still staring at the sky.
"Dudes, look at the sky!" Itachi and Kisame looked up, both taking a hit from their cigarettes.
"Dude," Kisame replied.
"It's like a purple-orange-blue-red color…that's trippy!" The group could hear a muffled scream and all eyes were on Sasuke who was struggling to pull his head out of the ground with his legs. "Dang Naruto, that was so cool…"
"It's like the reverse of the head-hunter jutsu," Kisame stated with a chuckle.
"Wait, wait, wait, I got an idea," Naruto exclaimed. The boy clasped his hands together, sticking both index and middle fingers forward. Naruto started snickering as he rose up to his feet. Itachi and Kisame were giggling, but they had no idea what the boy was planning. Naruto suddenly sprinted forward with his hands in front of him, aimed at Sasuke's rump. "Secret jutsu: ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF DEATH!" Naruto jammed his fingers up Sasuke's butt with all his might.
The young Uchiha ripped his head out of the ground, screaming in unbearable pain as he shot straight up into the air. Itachi and Kisame howled with laughter, falling on their backs and holding their sides in pain. Karin placed her hands over her mouth in shock as she stared at Sasuke flying through the air. Suigetsu started laughing as well, but not as badly as Itachi or Kisame. Jugo simply stared with wide eyes. Naruto held up his hands still clasped together and then blew on the tips as if it were the barrel of a smoking gun. The Jinchuriki then made a face and sniffed.
"AWE DUDES! Smell this! It's SO nasty!" Sasuke landed back on the ground, rolling around in the dirt as he held his backside in pain. "Dude, do you EVER wipe?"
"I got some paper you can use," Kisame offered, holding out the bandages from his sword. Sasuke opened his eyes, glaring at Naruto with all of his hate.
"Damn you! If it's the last thing I do Naruto, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU PAY!" The young Uchiha groaned in pain once again then commenced with rolling around.
"That was the funniest thing I've ever seen man," Itachi exclaimed. "Hey wait Kisame, why don't we do that thing that we said we were going to do."
"What thing," Kisame questioned. Itachi lied on his back, then extended one foot at the shark-man. "Oh that thing! You got it buddy!" Kisame grabbed Itachi's ankle then charged at Sasuke.
The younger brother just managed to stand on his own feet before he turned his head and saw Kisame running at him. Sasuke jumped back as Kisame swung Itachi crossways, the blue man's arm across his chest now. Itachi shot a fireball from the other side of Kisame from behind the shark-man, aimed directly at Sasuke. The young Uchiha sprung into the air, jumping over the fireball. Kisame hurled Itachi, sending the older brother head-over-heels over and over again, flying towards Sasuke. The younger brother prepared his Chidori as Itachi approached. This was it, his Sharingan fixated solely on Itachi, ready to take his revenge at long last. Sasuke threw his left hand forward, screaming with all his might. Itachi grabbed Sasuke's wrist and averted his little brother's Chidori, then poked him in the eyes. Sasuke screamed in pain as his jutsu deactivated as he covered his eyes. Itachi elbowed Sasuke in the stomach then threw him to the ground. Sasuke hit with a dull thud. Itachi landed on his feet, stumbled a bit, but caught himself on the tree. Sasuke slowly pushed himself up, panting heavily as he looked over at his clumsy brother.
"What the hell," Sasuke muttered. Itachi, Kisame, and Naruto all started laughing for no apparent reason. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL?" Everyone looked over at Sasuke who stood up suddenly in rage. "What made you like this? You're all acting like complete idiots!"
"Hey, that's rude," Kisame shouted.
"Yeah, who're you calling an idiot," Naruto questioned angrily. "We may be idiots, but you had four fingers shoved up your butt!" The Akatsuki partners started snickering while Sasuke scowled angrily.
"Hey, we're almost out of the stuff," Kisame exclaimed in alarm.
"What stuff," Naruto asked.
"This stuff," Kisame replied, holding up his almost burned out joint.
"What stuff," Itachi asked again.
"The good stuff," Naruto questioned.
"The good stuff is sex and stuff," Itachi said matter-of-factly.
"Sounds like good stuff," Naruto admitted.
"It is good stuff," Kisame agreed with a pervy grin. "But I'm not talking about that stuff! I'm talking about THIS stuff!"
"The grass stuff," Itachi inquired.
"We got grass stuff," Naruto snapped, pointing to the grass beneath their feet.
"Can we smoke it like this stuff," Kisame asked.
"I'm not sure it's the same stuff," Itachi answered.
"That's not good stuff," Naruto exclaimed.
"But we're almost out of this good stuff," Kisame shouted. Naruto and Itachi gasped, looking at their joints.
"Not good, my stuffs out," Itachi shouted. "And it's been burning my fingertips for the past few minutes! Look at this black stuff!"
"Awe man, I'm out of my stuff too!"
"The stuff," Kisame exclaimed in horror. "The stuff is gone…"
"We can get more stuff from that creepy merchant who sells stuff right," Itachi asked.
"Oh right, I forgot he sold me this stuff," Kisame replied with a grin.
"Can I get some of that stuff," Naruto asked.
"Sure, just come with us to get the stuff," Itachi replied, placing a friendly arm around Naruto's shoulders.
"More stuff, here we come!"
"ENOUGH," Sasuke shouted. "This ends now!" Itachi, Naruto, and Kisame looked over at Sasuke.
"You're still here," Itachi questioned. "Go away, we need to get the stuff."
"Our stuff," Kisame added.
"The good stuff," Naruto finished.
"No," Sasuke shouted. "I'm going to kill you all right here on the spot!" The baked trio blinked unconvincingly. "Prepare to die, it ends HE-,"
Sasuke was cut off by Naruto letting out the longest fart that lasted for nearly ten seconds. Everyone was quite before the stoned trio started laughing uncontrollably. Sasuke scowled angrily and in a blind rage, lunged forward. Itachi stepped between his brother and his partners then exhaled a huge wave of smoke. Sasuke was forced to stop and shield his eyes while coughing up a fit. Itachi stepped forward, smacking Sasuke across the face twice with the same hand, poking him forcefully in the forehead, jabbing him in the stomach, chopping him in the side of the neck, spinning around to elbow him in the gut, using the same arm to throw the back of his hand straight into Sasuke's face, spinning back around to bitch-slap Sasuke again, two more slow jabs to the stomach before throwing the back of his fist into Sasuke's face, taking a Rock Lee stance. Sasuke flew back and hit the ground, bouncing once then rolling to a stop. Time stood still and nobody moved, or even breathed. Naruto and Kisame then started a small applause, cheering excitedly for Itachi. The older brother turned around and bowed in a showman like fashion before approaching his partners.
"Dude, that was cool stuff," Naruto exclaimed.
"I'll say," Kisame added, "You slapped him and stuff!"
"Damn straight," Itachi shouted. "So, on to get more stuff?"
"Good stuff Itachi," Naruto replied with a wide grin.
You all have deathsilver to thank for this chapter since he gave me this wonderful idea to work with lol so thank him if you know him, and if not…thank him anyway! Hope you enjoyed, and please leave reviews!
I may or may not continue…I'm not sure what'll happen in the next chapter if this does continue on though lol So don't hold your breath…er…do hold your breath…er…just breathe people!