"You know," Edward whispered to Bella, "We could just run for it."

Bella nodded. "We could, but I was thinking maybe they could give us some directions, since you and Jacob couldn't find the house."

Edward threw his arms up. "I don't need directions! We were doing fine!"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say, dear."

"Anyway," Edward continued. "I've been reading their minds, and it seems like they really are wizards."

"How strange. My back is still stiff."

"Well, your vampirism probably shielded most of the…spell."

"I suppose," Bella replied.

Jake stepped out from behind a tree, human and shirtless.

"Eeeek!" A fangirl yelled as she ran by.

They watched her disappear. Then Jacob turned to Bella. "Why aren't you freaking out about finding out magic exists? You went crazy when you heard about werewolves!"

"But not when she found out vampires were real," Edward pointed out.

"Hmm," Bella said. "Well, I was fine with the first, not the second…I must only freak out on the even numbers."

Jacob tilted his head, considering.

"Plus," Bella added, "We're in England. Tons of crazy stuff happens here!"

Her husband and future son-in-law stared at her.

"I'm back!" Ron called as he walked up. "I called my dad and he said he'd get a professional over ASAP."

"Good," Hermione said. "We'll just have to wait here."

"Wait a minute!" Harry said. "We saw teachers in the castle-we should tell them about this! They can help us watch the vampires."

"Great idea, Harry." Ron said.

"Why don't you go find them? Ron and I can stay here." Hermione told him.

"Okay." Harry said, then turned on his heel and jogged away.

Hermione watched the four intruders talk for a moment.

"Hey," she said. "Wait a minute. How did you guys get in here?"

Edward looked up. "We climbed the wall."

"That's not possible. The protective spells should have kept you out. They only let witches and wizards in."

Bella shrugged. "We probably got around them because we're vampires."

"No," Hermione argued. "They're designed to keep evil creatures out."

"Obviously you don't know much about vampires," Edward said. Hermione scoffed.

"I know plenty about vampires! You've no idea how many books I've read on them!"

Edward sighed. "They wouldn't publish books about us, we're secret. Anyway, vampires can get through anything and have super=strong skin that'll probably reflect your 'spells'."

"It's true," Bella said. "Vampires can do pretty much anything because they're invulnerable, and awesome like that."

Hermione stared at them. "That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life. You can't just have a creature that's invulnerable."

"I know!" Jacob exclaimed. "It's not fair! Stephenie Meyer is out of her freakin' mind!"

Everyone turned to look at him with a puzzled expression.

"Jake, you're the one who can kill vampires."

Jake shrugged. "That's because I'm even awesomer."

"'Awesomer' is not a word," Hermione told him.

"Sure it is. I can kill vampires and make hordes of girls scream just by taking off my shirt. That makes me awesomer."

"No, you've got that wrong," Ron said. "Taylor Lautner's the one with the fantastic abs."

Now it was Ron's turn to be stared at. "Huh?" Hermione said.

"Again, you'll have to wait until we get home. I have New Moon on DVD."

Before anyone could question Ron's sexuality, several more people appeared from the forest.

"Bella! Edward! Nessie!" Esme cried, hugging her various family members.

"Yeah, thanks for the warm welcome," Jacob grumbled.

"You guys are here!" Edward said.

"Yes, here we are," Carlisle said. "Where is here, anyway?"

"You're at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" Hermione said. "And with any luck, you'll all be gone soon!"

Emmett cracked up. "Hogwarts? What kind of name is that?!"

Hermione glared at him. Ron was messing with his cell phone.