Disclaimer: This is my first Fan Fiction so please be gentle with me. I do not own any of the characters nor am I making any money off them. I hope you enjoy my story

WARNING: This story is VERYUn-Morelli friendly. If you are a Joe fan then you will not in any way enjoy this even a little. Joe is a very bad in my story. It is a total Babe story. It's actually extremely unkind to Mrs. Plum too. There will be adult language, violence, and situations so don't even bother reading any more if this will offend you.

CHAPTER 1

SPOV

Here I am again, Stephanie Plum; aka the Bombshell Bounty Hunter, aka Babe, aka Cupcake. Good grief, it's a wonder I'm not schizophrenic with all the nicknames. I was standing immobile, staring at the flashing lights of the fire trucks and police cars as they raced towards my latest disaster. Once again, I had managed to send another vehicle to car heaven. Actually, my latest skip was responsible for it. He threw a Molotov cocktail into my backseat in an attempt to prevent his apprehension. Not that this mattered; it would still be listed under one of my many car catastrophes.

As I watched my latest POS car become engulfed in flames and money exchanging hands among my supposed life long friends, I realized that I couldn't keep doing this. I was exhausted from chasing my skip four blocks and then making a flying tackle after he blew my car up. He was currently handcuffed in the back of a police cruiser. I might always get my man, but I'd had enough. Five years from now, I didn't want to watch this same scene replaying with a different car and bigger bets. I needed to get serious about my job, or seriously consider getting a new one.

As I accepted the finality of this decision, I watched the two men in my life make their way over to me. Joe's face was candy apple red. I could practically see the steam rolling off of his head. And Ranger ... well, Ranger had his almost smile on his normally blank face. Glad to see I could still amuse him. When they reached me, I took a deep breath, bracing myself for what I knew would be coming from Joe. Ranger never seemed to mind when my cars went boom, as long as I wasn't in them.

Ranger stepped up in front of me and tucked a loose curl behind my ear, then asked, "Babe, you okay?"

"Yep."

He gave me one of his rare full-blown smiles. "Okay, call if you need anything." And with that, he turned and walked back to his car.

I guess seeing that I was in one piece was all he needed. I didn't really have much time to think about it, though, because Joe blew his top.

"Cupcake, I can't believe you torched another car! What's wrong with you? When are you going to realize that you are completely incapable of doing your job and quit?"

"Joe-" was all I got out before he continued on with his rant.

"I've had enough of this! It's time for you to grow up! I've told you before that I can take care of both of us. There is no reason for you to work. I mean, once we're married you will have the house and then kids to keep you busy. I don't understand why you can't start now."

Arguing with Joe about my job and getting married was yet another thing I was tired of. Normally, my response would be to start yelling back about needing my independence and not wanting to be another "Burg wife." Instead, I just turned away and looked for my friend, Eddie Garza, whom I'd seen earlier. Joe was still yelling, but I wasn't listening to anything he was saying.

"Eddie, would you mind giving me a ride back to my apartment?" I asked when I finally found him.

He gave me a startled look and glanced over at Joe, who now looked like he might be at serious risk of having a coronary. "Ah, sure, Steph," Eddie replied. "No problem."

Joe was still yelling as we walked away from him and climbed into Eddie's cruiser. The drive to my apartment was made in silence. Eddie was probably shocked that I hadn't let Joe have it. Joe and I were known for our explosive tempers and our complete unwillingness to listen to what the other person was saying. Instead of fuming, as I normally would be, I was wondering why I kept repeating the same actions and arguments. Ranger was right. It was definitely unhealthy. I looked out the window, taking in the scenery and knowing that I needed to do some serious thinking about my life, professionally and personally. However, getting any peace and quiet was pretty much impossible for me.

As we pulled into my apartment complex, I saw two Ford Explorers sitting in the front two parking spots. I will never understand how the Merry Men and their fearless leader always end up with the best spots. I guess it was just one of life's little mysteries.

I started to get out of the car, but Eddie stopped me.

"Are you okay, Steph?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, I guess… No, not really, but I think I will be." I sighed. "Hey, would you grab my body receipt for me when you go to the precinct? And thanks for the ride, Eddie!"

"Sure Steph, anytime," Eddie said.

I gave him a small smile and climbed out of the car. As Eddie pulled away, I looked up to see Tank, Ranger's right hand man, headed my way with a set of keys.

"Boss said you might need these for a few days," Tank said as he handed me the keys.

Normally, I don't like taking cars from Ranger, but I had a plan forming in my head, and I would need transportation if I was going to do it. Besides, I really hate driving Big Blue.

"Thanks, Tank," I said. "And thank Ranger for me."

"No problem, Steph," Tank said, smiling as he climbed into the other Explorer.

I looked in the driver's side and saw Lester. I gave him a one-finger wave. He flashed me his killer smile and waved back as he pulled out of the lot. I drug my tired body up to my second floor apartment and let myself in. Looking around at my dorm furniture, I once again thought that I really needed to make some serious life changes.

After helping Ranger solve the mystery of the break-ins connected to his company, he had been quite generous in paying me for my time, and my bank account was actually looking quite flush. And since I'd caught my skip today, my plate was clean. I decided it was time to take a few days off and figure out exactly what I wanted out of life.

The beach has always been my oasis when I needed to get away, so I was going to drive down to Point Pleasant for a few days of peace, quiet, and contemplation. I went to my room, grabbed a bag, and packed a few things. It was fall, so it would be chilly, but I wasn't going for the tan. With my bag in one hand and Rex in the other, I made my way down to the Explorer. I knew I should call my mom and Joe to let them know I was going, but I just really didn't want to hear them complain. Best if I called them after I got there.

On the other hand, I should probably call Ranger, so he didn't think I'd been kidnapped and send out the troops. Even though I knew the truck had GPS, I figured I'd still let him know where I was going. It also gave me an excuse to hear his voice, and I would never pass up an opportunity to talk to my own personal Batman. I hit speed dial one.

"Yo," he answered.

"Yo, yourself."

"Hey, Babe, did you get the truck?"

"Yeah, thanks, Ranger. I really appreciate it."

"No problem."

"So, I just wanted to tell you I'm headed to Point Pleasant for a few days."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to get away for a few days. I have some things I want to think about, and I can't do it here with everyone yelling in my ear about what they think I need to do."

"Okay, Babe, I understand. Would you mind calling every night to check in, just so I'll know your okay?"

"Sure, I can do that. Oh, would you do me a favor and not tell anyone where I'm at. I'm going to call Mom, Joe, and Connie later, but I really need to get away from the Burg and all that goes along with it."

Ranger chuckled. "Sure, Babe, your secret's safe with me."

"Thanks, Ranger."

Of course, he was gone without even a goodbye. I shut my phone off, figuring I'd wait until I got settled to make my other phone calls.

I made good time getting to Point Pleasant and found a cheap house to rent right on the beach. Then, I ran to the store and bought some essentials: coffee, tastykakes, a few donuts for in the morning, and some things to snack on tonight. I even picked up a pad of paper and pen. If I was going to start making some changes, I might want to make some lists.

After Rex and I were settled for the night, I turned on my phone. Six missed calls. Oh, joy. Two calls were from my mother, going on about how Adriana Basso's daughter never had her cars blown up. She worked at the bank and had two kids ... blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, it might be a little better than working at the personal products plant, since there was always the chance of a robbery to break up the monotony, but I still wasn't interested. Mary Lou and Lula both called to see if I was all right. Two calls were from Joe, screaming about me walking away from him at the scene.

I deleted all the messages and took a deep breath, preparing myself for the calls ahead. I dialed the bonds office and left a message for Connie saying I would be out of town for a few days and would call when I was back. Then, I called my mom.

"Hi, Mom."

"Stephanie Michelle Plum, what am I going to do with you? Another car? Honestly, Stephanie, when are you going to stop this nonsense and get a real job and get married? You're not getting any younger, and Joe won't wait for you forever, you know."

I ignored her rant. "I'm fine, Mom. I decided to go out of town for a few days, and I wanted to let you know so you wouldn't worry."

"Where are you going? When will you be back?"

"I'm not sure, Mom, but I'll call and check in if I plan on staying longer than a few days. I shouldn't be gone for to long, though. Oh, I have a call coming in, Mom. I've got to go. I love you. Talk to you later." Bless the person who invented call waiting because it made a great excuse.

"Stephanie," I heard her say as I hung up the phone.

Phew! One down and one more to go. Now to call Joe. I hit speed dial two.

"Cupcake, where the hell are you?" Joe yelled when he answered the phone.

"I needed a break and decided to go out of town for a few days."

"Oh, really. How the hell did you get there? You don't have a car anymore!"

"Ranger had the guys drop off one of his cars for me to borrow for a few days."

"Why would you take another car from him, Cupcake? They probably aren't even legal! And why did you walk away from me when I was talking to you today?"

I could see he hadn't calmed down any since then, either.

"Joe, you weren't talking, you were yelling. But I'm not going to argue with you tonight. Ranger's cars are perfectly legal, and you know it. I left because I needed to think, and that's what I'm going to do. I'll call you when I get back. Goodbye, Joe."

I hung up the phone and shut it off before he could continue with his complaints. I looked at the clock and decided it was late enough. I would go to bed and start my introspection tomorrow.

TBC...

I would love to thank the two greatest beta's in the world. So thank's Connie and Lisa. If it wasn't for you two this story would still be floating around in my head and never made it to paper. Lisa you're a great writer and I've learned a lot from you. Connie, you're brilliant! You have some of the best ideas and I thank you so much for helping me bring my story to life.