He woke to the feeling of an itch on his ear.
Cas woke annoyed that something as simple as a bloody itch pulled him from sleep. With a scowl he swatted his ear and twisted over, hugging the pillow as he went.
Crap, he was awake now.
He sighed irritably and sat up. He could hear the soft noises from the night patrol through his open window. He yawned and threw the covers off himself. Got up and stretched and walked over to his small kitchen. He considered making himself a pot of tea, but knew Dean would throw a fit if Cas made tea only for himself, wasting a match and gas for one person.
He didn't feel like taking any pills. He didn't feel like reading. And he certainly wasn't going to offer his help on patrol on the off-chance he might feel sleepy again.
His ear itched again.
Castiel raised his hand, thinking maybe he had a mosquito bite, when he suddenly paused. He twisted around.
There was a girl sitting on his bed.
Not a women, (he usually remembered who he bed the previous night) a girl. No more than twelve years old. Cas had a brief streak of panic, wondering if in a drug-induced daze he'd grabbed this poor kid and raped her.
"Castiel," she spoke suddenly, making him jump. Nobody but Dean and Chuck ever called him by his full name. Even now, they always referred to him as Cas. "You look like shit."
Definitely not one of the refugees. Castiel licked his lips and focused in on her. He fought through the lingering effects of sleep and drugs, trying to asses her person. Was she a demon or…?
When the hint of Grace flicked to him, Cas sucked in a sharp breath of air. "Raguel."
"Brother," Raguel nodded her head towards him. "It's nice to see you haven't lost all of your senses."
"Did Michael finally decide to take Dean?"
Cas does not beat around the bush. Dean hadn't been back to camp for nearly two days now and while this doesn't worry Castiel, it does make him wonder why it's taking Dean so long.
Raguel ignored his question. "I'm here for you, actually."
Cas narrowed his eyes at her. "You're a strange choice. If anyone, I expected Suiel to come kill me."
"I'm not here to kill you. I'm here to bring you home."
"That's a cruel joke and I don't care for it."
"It's not a joke, Castiel," she jumped off the bed, her long brown hair fluttering. "You don't belong here. You're not one of them. Come home with me."
One month after Sam said 'Yes' to Lucifer, Jimmy quietly went away. Cas never understood how or why, but at the time, he didn't have the luxury to question. The angels left, his mojo dwindled away and the Croatoan virus was rampant. Castiel inhabited Jimmy's body for six years now, became its master for nearly four years.
That's four years of eating, crapping, and though Castiel never forgot what it was like to be an angel (how could he?) being human demanded more attention.
So when the full implication of what Raguel was saying finally settled in, all he could think was, Yes. God, yes.
But instead, what came out of his mouth was, "What about Dean?"
Raguel glared at him. "I am not here for Dean Winchester. Do not ask about him again."
"Castiel," Raguel stepped forward, lifting her small hand to his cheek. It should've been impossible for her vessel but she makes it without getting any taller. "Brother, please. It's over. Just come home with me."
Grace leaked through her fingertips and Castiel nearly groaned at the familiarity. It reminded him of safety, of love, of home. And he was tired. Tired of being hungry and scared and cold.
And he almost said it. He opened his mouth, the yes at the tip of his tongue. Home was so close, he could taste it.
But all he could think about was, what about Dean?
And Castiel found, despite every molecule in his body was screaming at him to accept Raguel's invitation, he would not. He would not leave Dean's side. Not now, not ever.
He pulled out of Raguel's soft embrace. "No," he muttered, moving away.
"I am not offering this again, Castiel," she growled at him from behind.
He doesn't answer her. Instead, he settled back into bed.
"You'll regret this," there is the sound of fluttering, then silence.
Castiel wondered if he will.