~Here are some funny times during the Hunger Games (HG and CF). I just finished Catching Fire the other day... so know I deserve to write a fic on it. I've read some humorous ones, but there aren't that many. I must add to that growing list. Funny is good, peeps! Disclaimer: I do not own Hunger Games, blah, blah.~

Chapter One: The Wig is off!

As usual, Haymitch Abernathy was wasted beyond repair. He stumbled to his room with a liquor bottle at hand. His eyes were bloodshot, and his breath, oh his breath, smelled of stale beer. Haymitch enjoyed being happy and careless over being worried and stressed. Well, he couldn't really tell because he was drunk, but if he was sober he'd say the same.

After falling a few times, Haymitch made it to his room. He pulled out his key and unlocked the door. When he pushed on the door, it was locked. So, confused, Haymitch re-unlocked the door. This time, it opened and Haymitch tripped in. The room was different then he remembered. He never placed frilly women things anywhere.

Just then, Effie Trinket walked out of the bathroom. Thankfully, she was already dressed. A pink towel rested on her arm. And...her wig was off. No one ever saw Effie without a wig on. Haymitch stared at her. He never thought about what her real hair might look like.

" The wig is off!" yelled Haymitch.

Effie screamed, "What are you doing here, ?!"

" THE WIG IS OFF!" Haymitch yelled again.

"Please be quiet!" Effie ordered as she pulled on a random wig.


"I said please be quiet! I don't need any extra attention!" said Effie.

"Why?" Haymitch asked,"You don't like red hair?"

"It's none of your business why I where wigs, sir." snapped Effie.

" It isn't. I never said it was."

"Good, now leave my room and don't say a word." Effie said dangerously.

"But this is my room. WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM ,WOMAN?" Haymitch said loudly.

"No, it is not, . This is my room, you are across the hall."

"Oh, okay. Thanks, sweetheart, I'll leave, but not quietly." grinned Haymitch.

Effie frowned,"Yes you will, or else."

"I like liquor!" Haymitch yelled as he ran out of the room.

"Well it's quite obvious that-" Effie started. She looked around and realized Haymitch left. She magically pulled a baseball bat out of thin air and chased after him.

"EFFIE'S WIG IS OFF! THE WIG IS OFF!" Haymitch screamed as he ran around the hallways.

"QUIET, HAYMITCH!" yelled Effie.

Haymitch turned around,"Oh my gosh! EFFIE HAS A BASEBALL BAT! RUN!"

"You better run!"

Haymitch turned a corner and headed for the training center. He hadn't run since the Hunger Games he won. The liquor gave him an extra boost. Meanwhile, Effie was screaming about, running with a baseball bat at hand. Soon enough, they lost each other.

"Hey, boy!" Haymitch panted as he rested on an avox boy,"I want you to spread the word for me. Tell everyone that Effie's wig is off. Go, boy, go! Tell the world, go!"

The avox blinked. He smelled the liquor in the Haymitch's breath. Why else would someone ask him to yell 'Effie's wig is off' when he couldn't speak? Only a drunk person. No, only Haymitch Abernathy. The boy nodded and pranced off, not sure what to do.

~Like it? Like it? It thought it was funny : ). Tell me what ya thought by reviewing! I'll add more scenes soon! 3 3 Citrus!~