"You may see her now Robin," Djaq said as she gently closed Marian's bedroom door behind her. "She is awake, but very tired. Do not weary her. It has only been one day since the injury and she must rest."
Robin nodded seriously, and patted Djaq on the shoulder as he passed her and crept into Marian's bedroom. There she was lying on the bed, in the same position she always slept in, curled onto her side with her legs tucked up close to her chest. Had he not known otherwise, he would never have guessed anything was wrong.
"Marian, it's me," he whispered.
"You can speak at a normal volume, Robin, I'm not dying you know," she joked pitifully, still facing the wall away from him.
"You almost were," he continued to whisper.
"Come here," she commanded, and looked back at him, extending an arm to him. He blinked, and swayed on his feet. He was starting to feel the effects of two days without sleep.
He slowly walked to the bed and knelt down at her side. When he saw her white face, her eyes still ringed with shadows, he blinked back tears.
"Shh, it's all right," Marian touched his face and motioned for him to come closer. He inched forward until she wrapped her arms around his head and cradled him to her breast.
"It's all right. I'm all right, you don't need to worry."
"I can't help it. I almost lost you," he whimpered against her neck. She stroked his hair and neck and hummed to him.
"Are you sure you're really going to be all right?" He asked, drawing back.
"Yes. And no." She looked away, staring up at the ceiling, trying to remain in control.
"What's wrong? I'll go get Djaq," Robin jumped to his feet and started to go.
"No," Marian said quickly, stretching out a hand to him. "It's…Djaq told me when Guy stabbed me, the dagger cut…that is to say it tore…" Marian's eyes flooded with tears and she looked up at the ceiling again and blinked frantically.
"Marian, what is it?" Robin asked quietly, coming to her side again and cradling her hand against his chest, "Tell me."
"She said I won't be able to…" her voice quavered and her lips trembled but she mastered it, "Children won't be possible."
"Oh, Marian," he whispered, and carefully edged his way onto the bed and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. In a rare moment of vulnerability she clung to him.
"For eight years I've been imagining our children, even when you were in the Holy Land, or when you're being stupid, I've thought of them. And now to know they will never come…"
Robin stroked her hair and imagined two small children, a little girl with chestnut hair, and a tow-headed boy, running gleefully through the forest. He watched them disappear into the greenery and held Marian tighter.
"I know. Nothing has been as we'd planned."
She nodded and pulled away, wiping her eyes.
"You'd better go. If Gisborne comes and finds you here…"
"I will deal with Gisborne when he comes. You don't have anything to fear."
He kissed her forehead and left the room quickly, trying to keep control over his rage at Gisborne, at his own failures, and that Marian could allow herself to be broken by this. He knew Marian, and his Marian would fight. She had to, because he could not fight without her.