Glimpses of Humanity in a Monsters Eyes

John Winchester questioned his choices on more occasions than he could count, despite what his sons might tell you. Everyday he questioned himself. Was raising his sons to be Hunters a good thing; or just the convenient thing for a man who lost the one person who made him feel normal?

It was true that he and Mary didn't have a perfect relationship. Who did? But there was one moment, when his sons were both nearly grown; Dean sleeping around, Sam distant and rebellious that John first questioned choosing this lifestyle for himself and on doing so his boys.

There was a woman, to this day he didn't know exactly what to call her. All he knew was that she wasn't human but had been once a long time ago. She was young looking, but her eyes were aged in a way that couldn't really be described. Her appearance changed at least three times in the days that John knew her, the only way he recognized her in the end was that her eyes would gleam strangely when light hit them at the right angle. Though he hadn't known that until long after.

The first time he encountered her she was a teenager, with dark hair and a soft smile. She flirted mercilessly with his oldest son. Dean was nineteen and always seemed to be with one woman or another. John didn't like it, but he didn't prevent it in any way either. He figured if his son couldn't have long term relationships, he might as well have this.

John hadn't realized until after the incident that she hadn't been what she claimed to be. Not until she left Dean and got her hands on Sammy. She had been blond, built, strong willed, and compassionate. Too much like Mary, too much like the woman that Sammy should see as his mother. Too old to be appropriate for his youngest to be dating. It took him too long to recognize the danger.

She really changed after that, days after his sons had been waylaid with an unknown lethargy and coma like sleep he had found her in what he supposed was the closest to her true form he was going to ever see.

She was standing in a field at the edge of town, in a ditch at the side of the road, looking out over an unattended field that had two horses and a handful of wild birds fluttering chaotically about catching insects mid flight. She seemed to be studying them, her, now auburn, hair glowing gold and copper in the setting sunlight, her dark green dress being blown back encompassing her thick frame as her head tilted back to look up at the darkening sky.

As John pulled over to confront whatever supernatural creature she was, she began to speak. "I never meant to hurt any of them..."

"Yeah, but you did," John said raising his shotgun.

She turned to him with tear filled eyes and a sad smile. "They said I would be making them happy," She turned away again to look at the sunset. "I was too young to realize there was a price for such things, and when I did it was too late. I was no longer human."

"My son's are in a coma because of you!" John shouted because he was trying desperately to stay angry with this young woman. Trying to will himself to pull the trigger.

"I don't want to do this anymore," She sounded old, tired. "But I can't do this myself. I can't end it myself. I needed someone like you to finish it for me."

In the blink of an eye she was holding the end of John's gun to her forehead tears now flowing down her cheeks. "If you kill me they will wake up and there will be no more sacrifices in the name of bliss."

There was a plea in her voice, soft and commanding though it was.

"I'm sorry," John whispered, not entirely sure why he was asking forgiveness of a monster as he pulled the trigger. After that, he started seeing the humanity in the things they were hunting, saw how much some of them seemed to care, for either one another or the people they destroyed. It caused a pressure and strain to slowly build, the hunt for yellow-eyes got more fierce and Sam left for college and Dean was now old enough to go out on his own. John stayed as far from them as possible because sooner or later this...doubt. Would get one of his sons killed.

AN: Now I have no idea where this came from...muses seem to be pelting me with mini-fiction plots or something. I like this enough to post it though so...tell me what you think.