A.N: This story happens during the 22th episode of the 5th season, called Swan Song. That means it's full of spoilers. So, if you didn't watch it, don't read! xDD I hope you all forgive my errors during the story, because that's the first fanfic that I tried to translate to english (I'm not a native speaker, not even close to that lol). No beta on this one, all the mistakes are really mine xDD Well, I hope that this one story means something to you, like that means to me =D
Disclaimer: Supernatural, the characters or anything related to the show aren't mine. They had been created by Eric Kripke, so, all the rights reserved ^~
In The Blink of an Eye
A blink of an eye, just one minimal fraction of a second: was that the time during which he watched, unbelieving, his world's ending right in front of his eyes: the one that meant the most, much more than everything, even than himself just vanished, had been swallowed by the dark hole where he jumped to never come back
"See, you gotta promise me something"
And what wouldn't he promise to the guy in front of him? What would he deny to him, who was someday the child he took in his arms and carried away from the fire that destroyed their lives? What wouldn't he promise to the man that this child had become: the one that always made him proud and scared at the same time?
"Ok, yeah, anything."
And then he asked for the unbelievable: asked to Dean to keep going on without him, to not try and save him. Maybe he just didn't understand anything since the beginning, maybe Dean wasn't clear enough and maybe he didn't show that enough! How could he search for a "normal life", for a family, for home? How could he do that when the one person who meant all that was dead? How could he keep going on without his future?
And even if he could, what would be the point?
But even without saying the words, he promised. And that promise now was heavy in his tired shoulders; when all he could do was sit in the seat of the Impala, all alone. The car that had so much meaning to him, that was a part of their stories together, a part of himself and his brother… But now, that just didn't look the same! The car was just a piece of steel without use, which lost all his meaning, that was be a part of Sam and Dean. That car that was everything suddenly didn't mean anything in his life.
Because, being honest, nothing else mattered.
The whole thing was incomplete! His own life had an emptiness that he just couldn't fulfill anymore. And obviously Dean knew it! Really, what was hurting more deeply was that he always knew where this path would lead. He knew the roads he passed by and knew since the beginning this would be the end of all that. He knew the size of the sacrifice at the end of the road.
How could he accept such high price?
But now he couldn't change what had been done… His little brother was dead, the guy he loved the most in the whole world, his ground, his everything, his life, his home, his family… All that died with Sam. All the life he built and everything that was still beautiful inside his heart had, all of sudden, left this world. Sam didn't take with him a part of his brother: he took him whole, bleeding, with himself. And Dean knew his biggest wish was to just have died right there, side to side with his brother, as that always was supposed to be.
Because no ending could be so cruel!
Why were they always taking everything from him? What had he won at the end? He lost everything and even more! How could that be fair? What was wrong with the universe? What a human being could possibly have done wrong that would deserve such a punishment?
Which God was that who took from him the only thing that really mattered?
And, again, what had been the meaning of all that? For what? For what did he fought for too long? Which was the real objective? Why had them to pass through all that? The apocalypse, their lives for the last years, his own time in hell… Was all that just a bad joke? Were they toys in the hands of God, part of a sick and bloodied game?
And why the hell was he still alive?
If all that was just a game, a joke, fine! Damn, he would accept if that was even a nightmare, a reality created by the angels, anything! Since Sammy was there by his side, to tell him again that everything would be alright and they were together on this one.
But he wasn't!
And that he just couldn't accept! That was something that he couldn't handle, a pain much stronger than him, something that would swallow him whole until there wasn't anything left! And Dean knew he would never smile again, because his heart was dead and his life was just that last promise he made to his brother.
Because there wasn't anything he didn't do for Sammy!
The promise to keep on living, even broken and dead inside, taking with him the empty shell that was now his own body. The last promise that he knew he would have to keep until the day of his own death. Even thought that wasn't his wish, even thought he just wanted to close his eyes and never open then again.
Because on that day, his life simply lost all the meaning forever…
Because Sammy was the start, the middle and the end of everything in his life…
Because he lost his brother, his son and his best friend in the blink of an eye
Final note: Well, that was my first attempt to translate a story of mine from Portuguese to English and I really hope that you all can at least understand my not-so-good English lol. I swear I really tried hard and if you find anything wrong, just tell me, cause that would help me a lot if I'll do that again someday ^^ (And I really hope I will lol)
That wasn't the best story I ever wrote, because I was really pissed off after the episode (I watched it twice and just then the anger started to vanish and I started to love the story lol) and then I just couldn't change anything, because that was the way it was born and I was scared that the story's naturalism would just go away if I changed it lol
I hope I could show you all I wanted to with that little story. I hope, too, that you all have liked it! =D
Thanks for reading that and let me know what you think about it ^~