Absolute

My name is Raven.

I am half-good, half-evil.

In my world, there are only two sides.

Win Lose

Black White

Day Night

I am the sides together

Like Yin and Yang

But not like them at all

Because they had balance

I envy them that

Or I would

If I was able to feel envy

Correction again:

I can feel

But I won't show it

Because then I would destroy

The whole world

My life is a well-wrapped lie

It took years for the corners to poke out

16 on the dot

Before it exploded

Fate makes things explode for me

My anger, my pain,

My lie of a life.

I am a superhero

Meant to save

Protect, help, be the light

I am irony's favorite toy

It seems.

I am only half-light

And some days

When the world is

Red and twisted black,

I doubt even that much.

Since I appeared,

They knew I would destroy them,

Allow him to destroy them.

I am the ultimate secret weapon.

But the secret part is my fault.

If I had accepted it,

That I am the portal for Death,

Destruction,

The End of all things,

Would the world

Have been better off?

Even my friends call me "goth" sometimes

Because I am always dark.

I am not white or black, but gray.

Not black or white, but midnight-blue.

Not red hair

Not blue hair

Purple.

I am every in-between in one.

But I have no balance.

Even with all those things, watch:

I envelop things in blackness,

And I do so for good,

But only for now,

When my mind is clear.

I meditate, I chant,

And all the A-M-Zs in time

Will not save us, or me

I keep a poker face

For 16 years

Never laughing

And never screaming

Afraid of my lie falling apart

From the sheer power.

At home, we accepted

That Dark would eventually

Win over Light.

Here, on Earth, they say

That the good guys win.

Whose rule will apply

When Azarath comes

To crush Earth?

When I awaken

To the destiny

I always knew

Would come?

I fought like hell

To escape the doom

Of 16 years old.

I would not die

And once, I even prayed

To a God I had never

Believed in before

To save me from fate.

Fate or God – who wins?

16 is not sweet.

It is the battle

Finally brought

After horrible tension.

I am a reader. I calm myself

With books where the

Magic is pure and

The hero is always

Always the winner.

I never read books

Where the hero fights

Against himself

Because inside I am too

Afraid he will lose

Like me.

I sound like I have

Accepted my fate.

I can never truly do it.

I will never give in,

Even when I am consumed

And the world is turned

To fire and brimstone.

I read the oldest story I saw

On the shelf of the first

Library around on Earth.

It was a Greek tragedy:

Oedipus Rex.

I don't feel much

But I felt for Oedipus.

Our fates are similar in the truest senses.

My mother is good, and

She may already be dead.

My father is evil itself,

And our union will

Be stained with blood.

Still, Oedipus resisted fate,

Even when all was already lost to him.

He became blind and poor

And he died alone.

Not inspiring at all.

Except for the part before he lost everything

And is still fighting.

I have been fighting all my life.

Power is a kind of armor

That never comes off

Or truly goes away.

Like Beast Boy's green skin

And unstable DNA

I am the most powerful thing around.

I know it, and I am

Not arrogant, but

Ashamed

Of how Trigon will use my power,

And of how I will let him.

I hold in 80% or more of my power

Because it is unstable, dangerous

Because I lack complete balance.

I always have.

But I cannot say that

I always will.

As I am now,

The poker-faced goth,

I will never defeat Trigon.

The only way to beat fate

With free will for me

Is to free myself

Holding nothing back

Letting my heart even out alone

Then I can use all my armor

My white, pure, armor

With no color bleeding through

And perhaps, since

I am on Earth

And because I will fight

Evil Incarnate

– Trigon –

And because there are only

Two sides in my world

The winners and the losers

The good guys and the villains

White and black

Perhaps I can be

More than half-good, half-evil.

No.

No perhaps.

I can be.

There are only two sides.

My foe is evil.

So I?

I am absolute good.