1Christ uploading the 2nd chapter resulted in random errors popping up that weren't even there when I did the spelling check e.o that would have been a perfect chapter! . anyway I'm gonna continue now...

?: sigh for the last time he does not own sonic or most of the ideas/references in this whole story the ones he do however own will be easy to figure out... or not.


Chapter 3: Giant Derp

As we take a look into a random Church in the hood things seemed peaceful " OMG this is so fucking boring..." Well was peaceful until Amy managed to drag Shadow to church with her by bribing him with a oreo cookie." Oh you'll be fine Shadow its only another hour" Amy said focusing on whatever nonsense the preacher was talking about while Shadow decided to call someone on his cell. " Hello who the fuck is this calling me on my day off" Unfortunately that random person was Dante from the Devil May Cry series which means everyday was his day off literally. " Man this woman got me up in the holy house ... I KNOW NOTHING!" Shadow sounded like a drug dealer on maple syrup while Dante looked like he was about to bust a cap in the phone." Hey I got an idea that may get you in a very good mood" Dante said as he explained everything to Shadow over the phone while said started to grin as it got wider by the second.

-5 obviously boring minutes later-

"Now as I welcome us into the light of .. AHHHHHH" Shadow had ran and punted the preacher in the old family jewels looking like he was on weed. "GRAA A STUPID PREACHER like ... oh my god... METAL GEAR!" Shadow then aimed a RPG at the ceiling with some epic Rambo music in the background. BRALUULUULLLUULLUUULULULLULULUULUAARARFAFASGSG!

He pretty much pwned every piece of white he saw in a beefed up oreo cookie rage of epicness... or not Amy pretty much chased him down the street with her hammer calling him every bad word in the book. " Get back here imma give ya something to metal gear about!" Well lets just say its better to be Sonic right about now... poor Shadow.


Somewhere off in th distance a jeep came flying over a house as it drove up to McDonald's stopping infront of the drive thru menu revealing that it was Tails in the drivers seat as knuckles was beat boxing in the passengers set saying Big Mac for no reason as tails started to randomly rap.

I need a double cheese burger and hold the lettuce (big mac)
Don't be frontin son, no seeds on the bun (big mac
We up in this drive thru order for two (big mac)

I gots a craving for a number 9 like my shoe (big mac)
We need some chicken up in here, in this shizzle (big mac)
Fro rizzle my mizzle extra salt on the frizzle (big mac)
my brother, another for your mother (big mac)
Double double super size and don't forget the fries! (big mac)

"That was the wackiest shit I done heard since Dragon Ball Revolution." The drive thru guy practically said he free styles like 50 cent-sorry had to do that v.v- without the clean cut hair style.

" Oh oh you did not just go there heeeeeeeeeeeeeelll to the nawwwwwwaaaznesss" Tails got out the car and took off his shirt which he never even had on looking all buff and shit while knuckles was talkin shit in the jeep. " AWWW CHIP! Tails about to go UFC on that ass son better get the steppin." The guy was already outside looking at Tails as if he were a joke. " What then foo step I'll beat your happy ass back to kindergarten without the rattle." tails bossed up and dropped the guys instantly and started to drop bombs on his face like Mike Tyson singing In The Air Tonight and while they were fighting the manager came out. " Damn it Jeff that's the 50th fight this week your fired you guy in the jeep your hired." The manager then walked off as Jeff stared at him walking away in shock. "He took my job... HE TOOK HIS JOB JE TOO Hiz JOOOOR! ADOOR GA DUU RA ." After that it pretty much went to hell fast with someone ending up in the hospital with a hang nail infection from doing to many Chinese jokes after dark.


Then out of nowhere Eggman appeared lookin like my last ex wife when she was wearing a thong -shivers at the thought- yelling like a nazi. "I will defeat you this time Sonic with my latest invention th..." Knuckles cut him off saying he would kick his happy ass if he did not shut those grease flaps he calls lips up which pissed Eggman off even more. "I'm suppose to be afraid of a emerald beater" " One time one time I did that not my fault you were stealing the master emerald" " Yea right stop trying to deny your past emerald beater" " Yea well why do you always go around kidnaping girls like your some serial rapist" Eggman was taken back by that remark a lil as he counter with his own joke. " Well at least I can get a girl -pffft LOL wow..-" " Yea well the only girl you got was your mom" Just then tails came out of nowhere. " OOOOOOOOOOO! Yo mama contest" Everyone looked at tails saying wtf at the same time. " Me first Me first yo mama is so hairy I mistaked her for Respusha off of Norbet OOOOOH OOOH yea you hurtin from that one." Eggman back handed the tofu out of Tails mouth. " No one talks about my mother like that but me... I think.. Anyway lets get this shit on knuckles." Eggman and knuckles were about fight when Amy stopped them. "Oh come on what now.. Damn..." Amy glared at everyone with her hammer in tow. " No one is doing any fighting until Oprah goes off I wanna see if I won a car!" Amy squealed as everyone including Silver and Shadow who haven't really said anything at all groaned in annoyance. " well what are we gonna do until then." Then tails came out of nowhere again. " YO MAMA CONTEST!"

-An hour of annoying Mama jokes later-

" OOOh OOOH ok ok how about this on your daddy" Sonic interrupted him. " Wait tails I thought it was your mama." Tails got in his face at an amazing speed. " SHUT UP! ... yo grandmother is so old she knew Black Doom BEFORE Shadow the Hedgehog OOOOH OOOH shake that one off shake it sha..." Eggman then got very annoyed at that moment walking over to Tails and body slamming him. "SHUT UP ALREADY GOD I liked it better when you still had that super annoying high voice in sonic adventure 1... now then lets start this already" Knuckles was about to punch the yogurt out of Eggmans nose when Tails interrupted again. " Wait wait a fight this epic needs a cool intro" Tails then grabbed a mic as Eggman and knuckles were in a random ring that came out of nowhere as Tails started to introduce Eggman. " In this corner weighing over 2 tons and a half doughnut that was eatin." Eggman then interrupted out of nowhere. " Hey why do I have to weigh so much.." Tails then got in his face . " ITS DRAMATIC... anyway he's big he's flabby... If he put on a pair of Speedo's and did a pose he would kill everyone on the planet its... EGGMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN HHSGKJGjushhsjgsgsghshgsgnsgahafgahgshg GSFGDGRADfadgad!11nnj gara agra garar!." Tails then takes a breath as he says Eggman again while Eggman was doing fat ups using his fat to push himself up." Yea knuckles gonna get that ass whooped." Tails then went over to knuckles.

" In this corner weighing 150 pounds the extra 50 coming from the size of his head" knuckles glared at Tails while Eggman complained about why he made knuckles a light weight. " ITS MOTHA FUCKIN DRAMATIC! anyway... he's red he's hairy .. He beats off to the master emerald daily" Knuckles yelled what so loud the master emerald shattered for the 100th time while everyone called him a emerald beater pissin him off more. " Its KNUCKLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLESSSSSSSSSSSSS SNM bhjgshjbmsjs h SBSB BREWWUIwujsnskakksms hjhhdhd ." tails takes another breath and says knuckles while knuckles was flexing his muscles. " OH AND HE GOT EGG BOOBS!" knuckles says what again as he says fuck it and jumps at Eggman. " ok when I count to the number L come out and slap each other" tails was completely ignored as Eggman sudden appeared out of nowhere in a pink thong with his shirt off showing his hairy nipples in a pose. " OH LORD MY EYES THEY RAE MELTING AGAGAHHA!." knuckles then fell over laid the fuck out while Eggman started to cheer like the faggot he is in general. " AWWW YEA Eggman in the hizouse !" "Tails then went up to Eggman congratulating him as he caught another back hand from him in response. " Now I can rule the world MWAHAHAHA!" Sonic then stepped up with who he thought was Silver and Shadow but of course Eggmans new err... fashion sense was too much for Silver to take who was in fact layed out on the ground mumbling about faggot bits.

" No you won't Eggman cause were gonna defeat you with the power of te... ah screw that lets just get him." Sonic and Shadow both run at Eggman as Tails pops up out of nowhere again commenting. " Looks like another epic battle is under way" tails exclaimed as he watched from the behind them. " Shut up Tails and come help us pwn his fat ass." Tails said ok listening to Sonic as he ran at Eggman with the other two." I'm gonna beat ya lard ass yaaaaa ..OOPF!" Sonic ran right into Eggman belly which pounced him back. " RAAAAAAAAAAAa I'M A BLACK GUY ON A MISSIO.., AGH!" Shadow got sent flying back too as tails ran up next. " BWREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHUHUHUHUHUHU! BREEWUUUUR!" Tails got sent flying back too even with that epic horse like battle cry scream as Sonic ran up again and stopped. " We can get him this way he's gonna win WAIT NO TAILS DON"t OOPF!. Tails had ran up again slamming into Sonic as Tails head hit Eggman in his rolls. " AWWW my meat balls." Eggman then fell over as Sonic started to spin one of his legs around fast and punted Eggman around the world which made him come right back landing on Sonic farting epicly in his face -and cue the old school Mario death music-" AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!." Sonic screamed like a lil girl as Eggman then farted in Shadows face laying him the fuck out though when he ran up trying to tackle Tails the fox did a fuckin somersault over his head like a boss.

" Super Tails power.." tails then started to bounce on Eggman slamming him into the ground as he then started to fake choke him with some liquorice. " Whose your mama tails now whose your mama Tails" Eggman grunted trying to get free. " Imma beat your ass when I get free tails." Tails said no he wouldn't as Eggman threw him off getting the liquorice off himself. " Oh did that feel butt face." Eggman then punched tails in the face as Tails looked shocked that he even did it in the first place. " You .. You hit me... oh no you did not just hit me BREEEEWUWUUWUUWUWUWUWUWUUUUWUW" Tails then started banging his head on the ground uber fast as Eggman then said duh it's a fight He was suppose to. " But your not suppose to hit the MAMA TAILS .. Graaaaaaa.." tails then punched Eggman in the throat then jumped on him bouncing on him like he was a bean bag while screeching like a horse more and swearing like a sailor he then picked him up and threw him into a freeze stomping him inside it as he slammed the door shut. " YEA -beep- you like that -BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEPER BEEP Shadow sucks BEEP BEEP GRAAAA ." Tails then walked a couple of steps forward and passed out right on the spot.

-10 minutes later-

Tails wakes up looking around all weirdly. " Hey What.. what is going on BREEEEEEEEWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUUWUWUWR !" Tails then opened the freezer and tossed Eggman out as he started to curb stomp on him like a boss as Eggman started to cuss like a black chick when her weave fell out for no apparent reason. " AHH tails stop this madness plz..." Eggman begged as Tails tossed him up which was really amazing considering how fat Eggman was. " FOUR!" He then used his tails like a golf club which was even more amazing as Eggman went sailing into the air. " Eggman is blasting off again!" Eggman landed inside of a garbage truck as it drove off with the driver saying that the trash is getting way too heavy now a days as an announcer came out of nowhere. " This games winner is Tails 0 hookers pwned -for now- tails learned a new move: The reach around -don't ask please XD-." GO TAILS GO TAILS GO GO GO TAILS GO TAILS GOOOOOOOOO TAILS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TAILS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO TAAAAAAAILS GOOOOOO..." Tails then shuffles down the street completely ignoring everyone else as Amy walked up looking around and dragging Sonic away to do god knows what to him while he was still unconscious as the area was then nuked by maple syrup more than the eye can see.


A/N: Whew think i got a little something of a brain surge on that one CHRIST what does it take to get people to rewiew these days i mean come on guys x.x am i that horrible D:

?: Maybe if you had better skill in your typing you would have alot of readers ... or maybe its the fact you SUCK in general ^^

A/N: ... Anyway yea ya'll already know what i'm goin to say so yea -shrugs- guess i'll start working on the 4th chapter now -walks out falling down the stairs a couple of feet away from him- ... i'm ok... ahh my... gaming hand thats gonna sting in the morning.