Hello there! With my about to be revived ling story I decided to stick to my good ol' one shots a bit more, and rather than have lots of itty bitty files, they'll all be stored under this story. Umbrella rating of T so far, but I don't know what my mind will come up with in the future ;)
So up first, a little poetry inspired fic here. Nice happy one to start with... or not.
What the Bullet Sang
O JOY of creation, I shall know him where he stands It is he-O my love!
To be!
O rapture, to fly
And be free!
Be the battle lost or won,
Though its smoke shall hide the sun,
I shall find my love-the one
Born for me!
All alone,
With the power in his hands
Not o'erthrown;
I shall know him by his face,
By his godlike front and grace;
I shall hold him for a space
All my own!
So bold!
It is I-all thy love
Foretold!
It is I-O love, what bliss!
Dost thou answer to my kiss?
O sweetheart! what is this
Lieth there so cold?
~ Bret Harte
I cradled his head in my lap as he gasped for air, each breath causing the blood seeping into his lings to emit a guttering, choking sound. His eyes rolled in their sockets before stopping, his dilated pupils fixed on my face.
"Nami," he whispered, with a breath of finality. I didn't resist the urge to slap him. It was the hysteria taking over.
"Damn it Zoro, don't die on me now!" I screamed at him. So desperate. He couldn't leave me. Not now. Not like this. "You need to become the world's best, remember?" I said, softer now. It seemed suddenly, that in the madness of the cannons and dementia of the fight, there was a calm of just us. A stilling calm.
"Nami, I... I never told you..." I pressed my finger to his blood wetted lips
"Shh, save your energy until Chopper comes," but we both knew he couldn't come in time, only it was so much easier to fool ourselves, "I already know. You need to live Zoro, for me. I feel the same," and it hurts. By God it hurt. I couldn't say the words out loud or it would tear me apart. My heart was ripping as it was, small fissures fanning through. I should have been giving up. I had given up. Yet I still begged him to live. With my eyes, my words, everything I could. I knew I was only being selfish and making his leaving so much harder for him, but I needed it.
"How?" his voice but a hiss of leaking air and bile.
"The way you looked at me, looked after me. You were there whatever, no matter how much debt I piled on your shoulders. You took every beating and lecture I gave you and never hurt me back. I saw you hurt when I yelled at you. And you had to, because I felt that way about you too." My tears splashed down on his face, merging with his own and the sweat and the grime. I'd come to terms with our relationship a long time ago, each too proud to be the first to tell the other. Too stubborn. Too foolish. Too many regrets we had built up and we'd run out of time to erase them. This was desperation as we emotionally and physically clung to each other, neither ready for what was about to happen. He lost the ability to speak as his face contorted in pain, and his eyes burned with the fire that burned through him.
"C'mon Zoro, just hold on in there," I choked, my sobs breaking every word I tried to say. "For you, for Kuina, you need to be the best. And me. For me. I need you now. I need you to be by my side when I need a helping hand. You'll hold me when I sad, right? You'll warm me in the winter and be there to hold me when I have nightmares. I've been so stupid but it can't be too late to be sorry now, can it? All along I knew I wanted to be with you but had too much damned pride to make the first move. I need you to get through this Zoro, and then I'll never leave your side until you tell me to go. It can't be too late. Please."
His back snapped and bowed painfully, as he threw his head back, screaming in agony. It was breaking my heart, every second of that sound and another bit of it turned to ash. He was crumbling but then still, panting and chest rattling but still. Only, it didn't spread to his eyes. They were wild and wide and the whole time looking at me. The blood kept pooling around his mouth and he was scared, so scared and then, he wasn't. Using the last of his air, energy and sanity he found peace. His last word of this life passed his lips, as his eyes closed and mouth rested into a serene smile. It was my name.
I screamed. Rage, regret, sorrow, all pouring out and polluting the air around me. Pouring and spilling until they overcame me, and my world too went black.
I could feel my body again. I didn't want to. I knew I should open my eyes, but I didn't want to. It would hurt, much the same as when I'd seen my mother too shot dead before me. The world would be a dark, crushing void and my soul would wither, and I would wonder why after the first time, I ever tried to keep living in such a cruel world, and how I could let someone into my heart when I should already have know it only took a bullet, a tiny lump of metal, would take them back from me. He had always been so strong and all but invincible. To see him scared and in agony reminded me of how fragile life can be. How warped and fragile.
But then again, I still had mine, and no matter how long and dark the tunnel would be, no matter how crushing it would be, there would be a light at the end. The light of my other nakama. I could hear two of them now, one was by my bed, breathing steadily and calmly, as though asleep. The other walked around the room, from place to place with solid, desisive steps. Chopper, I guessed. The chemical smell told me I was in his office. There was a gently shake on my arm and I heard the reindeer tentatively whisper my name, asking if I was awake. I whimpered.
"What hurts?" he pressed further. I rolled on my side to face him, his expression one of concern. I fisted my hand over the left side of my chest.
"Here. It hurts here." I muttered, as the first wave of pain dragged me under and the tears left their virgin tracks down my face. The small doctor began to panic, fearing I may be suffering some sort of cardiac problem as a result of the shock before Sanji, my other visitor, resed his hand on the boy's shoulder and quieted him with a look. With a few well placed words, he explained without detail. A couple more and we were left alone.
"He took that bullet for you, you know?"
No, I wanted to say. No I didn't.