Anything recognizable that is related to Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer.
Bella POV
Chapter 1
I was moving my dinner around my plate, waiting for Charlie to finish eating so I could do the dishes and go up to my room already.
I guess Charlie was watching me because he asked, "Bella, aren't you going to eat anything?"
"I'm not really that hungry, dad." I said to my still-full plate.
He sighed heavily, obviously not believing me."Bells, I know you said that you didn't want to go to Jacksonville with Renee, but you're not getting any better. He isn't coming back Bella." he added, looking nervous, like I might have a break down.
I flinched. "Dad. I'm not leaving." I said, trying to sound stern, but my voice broke on 'leaving'.
He looked even more nervous."Bells...you're going. I've already decided. You refuse to get help and you're not even trying be better without him. All you do is sit in your room. Your lifeless. I'm worried about you honey, and I think this is the only chance you'll get to be better. Renee's coming to get you on Thursday."
I just stared at him. He look sad and I tried to find some remorse for my behavior for the past 6 months, but all I could feel since...he left is depression and misery. I continued to look at Charlie for a few more seconds and then got up to go to my room. He called after me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him.
When I got to my room, I laid down on my bed and curled into a ball.
It will be as if I never existed.
I winced. The edges of the hole in my chest rippled painfully. It had been going through my head even more lately. Ever since Jake blew me off, I was worse than before. My misery was more visible.
I was practically mute. Tonight, was the most I'd spoken in a week. I couldn't sleep because of the nightmares. The circles under my eyes were so dark it looked like black eyeshadow had been spread under them. I was bordering on being anorexic. I had bruises on my sides from holding myself too tightly and too frequently.
I was holding myself painfully tight right now and it wasn't helping. At all. I was still falling apart.
It will be as if I never existed.
That's it! I can't take it anymore! No one should have to live like this. He wanted me to live a normal human life and forget about him. But I can't live another 60 or 70 years in complete misery. I can't even wait until my bad luck kills me somehow...but I could do it myself. Promise or no promise, I just can't do this. Not anymore.
With my mind made up, I looked to the clock to see that it was already midnight. I was vaguely suprised to see that I was stuck in my thoughts that long. I went over to my backpack and got out a pen and paper.
Dad,
I am so sorry. Sorry for not getting to know you better, sorry for everything you've had to put up with for the past 6 months. I know it hurt you to see like this and I honestly did try to be better, but I couldn't just get over him. I can't live without him any more. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you but I can't just go to Jacksonville and try to forget him. I know he's not coming back and this is the only thing I can do. I love you more than you know. Tell mom I'm sorry and that I love her, too.
Bella
I set the letter on my computer chair and stopped short. How would I do this? Slash my wrists? I would faint at the smell of blood before I got a deep enough cut to bleed out. Shoot myself? Charlie would hear that and I couldn't do it with Charlie's gun. It would cause him even more pain. I could jump off the La Push cliffs. I couldn't do it now because my truck would definitely wake Charlie up. It would have to be after Charlie goes to work. I lay awake the rest of the night, just waiting.
I watched Charlie's cruiser go down the street. After I couldn't see it anymore, I got my keys and went to my truck.
I drove to La Push, trying to keep the tears back but gave up and let them flow. When I got there, I drove to the spot where I saw those boys cliff-dive.
Someone would see my truck and then it would be obvious what I had done. In this near-hurricane weather, I would have no hope of surviving. I got out of my truck.
When I got to the cliffs I walked up to the tallest one. By the time I got up there, my blouse- the blue one that...he loved- was soaked along with my jeans and sneakers. I started toward the edge and when I got about a foot away from it when I heard his voice.
BELLA STOP!
I froze in surprise. I hadn't heard him since riding my motorcycle with Jake.
Go home right now, he demanded.
I sighed, teasuring the beautiful sound of his voice. I walk to the very edge of the cliff ignoring the shouts and growls coming from my head.
I take a deep breath and jump.
BELLA NO!
I don't scream while I fall, but I let out a whimper when I slam into the water. The thrashing waves throw me around mercilessly. I don't fight them. Ignoring the freezing water and my burning lungs, I find this oddly peaceful.
Edward...is still screaming at me in my head, telling me to fight.
My need for air causes me to involuntarily try to take a breath and my lungs fill with water. As the water floods my lungs, black spots dance across my closed eyes.
I start to black out, but I just barely catch the feeling of something touching my lips.
The timeline in this story is set just a bit faster than in New Moon. She and Jake have already been friends then "broken up".
Please review. Not too harsh please. This is my first Fanfic. :)