Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs. King belong to Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Brothers and I'm making absolutely no money for this writing! I don't own the characters but this story is 'original'-thanks to Mike F. for helping with the details!
Episode 4 of "If"
Act 1: Gentlemen, Start your engines!
Late Feb 2002
****2 weeks ago****
"Welcome race fans to ESN's coverage of the NHRL Pomona Nationals! Up next, John Force fights to regain the title from long time champion Otekir McBride! Let's watch now as the gentlemen start their engines...Oh no! Otekir's car has exploded! Medical staff are running to the scene...we're cutting to a station break!"
"Kurt, darling, be a dear and grab my purse from the ...Oh dear!" Dotty exclaimed as she looked out her front window, "Who's that!? Someone's pulling up the drive..."
"Dotty, my turtledove, here's your bag...hmmmm...looks like Amanda and her new husband..."
"Oh! I forgot they said they'd be coming in today! She's going to die if she sees me dressed like this! Kurt! Oh!"
"It's no use, they're at the door..."
"Kurt, how am I going to explain?"
Kurt cautiously opened the door, "Why, hello Amanda, Lee!"
Lee couldn't quite believe his eyes, "Uh, are we...interrupting ...something?"
"Mom?" Amanda stood there, mouth open...
"Yes, dear?" Dotty replied.
"What? What are you...wearing?"
"Oh! You noticed? Well Amanda, you see, Captain Kurt and I...well..."
Kurt interjected, "We might as well tell them..."
"Well, Amanda, Lee...we're going... undercover." Dotty stated matter of factly.
"What!?" Amanda and Lee blurted out in unison.
Dotty continued, "Yes, well you see..."
"A friend of mine has a son who was in a terrible car crash recently. You may have heard of him...Otekir McBride" Kurt continued.
"Who?" Amanda couldn't believe this...
"McBride!" Lee exclaimed, "Yeah! I heard about his crash when we were in Texas!"
"Otekir?" Amanda continued, "Mother, that doesn't explain why you're wearing...leather pants!"
'Or that spaghetti strap top that says "Don't Ask!" or that chain-link belt...' thought Lee.
Kurt started, "My friend..."
Dotty continued, "thinks there's been foul play..."
Kurt picked up, "And that's where we come in. There's a new race venue that begins tonight. It's called Pomona Thunder and..."
"Otekir's understudy" Dotty explained...
"A young hot shot named Kip Rhyder..."Kurt said...
Dotty continued, "Of, what? 23 years of age? Anyway, Kip..."
Kurt finished, "Is racing tonight..."
"And we heard he likes older woman", Dotty reasoned...
"So, we thought Dotty would get all dolled up.." Kurt contended...
Dotty argued, "and try to find out more information. Otekir's father..."
"Thinks that this 'Kip' has done something terrible to gain the driver's seat."
"Mother! Going undercover is very dangerous!"
"Amanda, dear, how would you know?" Dotty asserted.
"Uh, Mother, you said Kip likes...older..women?"
Lee thought 'How old!?'
"Well, darling, now that you mention it...why don't you go undercover?"
"Oh no!" said Lee.
Kurt declared, "Come, come young man! It's for my good friend..."
"Daniel McBride" Dotty finished.
"Dotty and I promised Daniel we'd dig up some information." Kurt continued.
Dotty grabbed Lee and Amanda by the arm, "Come along now! We'll buy you dinner on the way! Oh! And some appropriate clothes..."
"What?" Amanda did not like the sound of this!
Dotty whispered in Amanda's ear, "Well, you'll never catch Kip wearing that dear!"
"Hot lovin'! Check it and see!
She's got a fever of a hundred and three!"
Lee couldn't hear himself think as the music blared in the Metco courtesy tent next to the drag strip. The race didn't start for another few hours. Lee cringed as he watched Amanda saunter past the oogling eyes of the Metco distributors.
'She sure looks sexy in those hot pants and 'Hot Mama' t-shirt' Lee thought. Her Oakley glasses were the bomb!
Several Metco distributor's did not hide their appreciation either for a good looking woman.
"Whew baby! Hot Mama!"
It was enough to make Lee lose his dinner!
Metco was a big sponsor for Kip's team "Nitro-rod." As Metco's theme song played in the background, Lee observed Amanda. She flashed a disarming smile to Nitro-rod's pit boss, Mike Pfister.
"Hi there, big guy!" Amanda vamped.
Mike saw her coming a mile away. He knew older women at Kip's tent meant only one thing...'This is the last thing Kip needs before the finals!'
"Metco, we're you're Metco! The tools you'll love to use!"
Lee could barely make out Amanda's interaction with the crew chief as Metco's song blared over the loudspeakers. He watched in disgust as Kip strutted up to Mike and Amanda and grabbed Amanda by the waist.
"What a drag!" Lee said under his breath.
~ ~ ~
"Hey! Hot Mama!" Kip poured it on. "I'll say you're hot! Where've you been all my life!"
Amanda stood there in Kip's youthful embrace and thought, 'Oh, getting married before you were born, having babies, attending PTA meetings, babysitting grandchildren...'
As she paused, Mike thought, 'Oh great! Another air head!'
Amanda tilted her head and shrugged as Kip pressed her body next to his and led her to the VIP tent.
"Oh!" Amanda said softly as she looked back just in time to see Lee look very, dare I say it, j...jealous!
~ ~ ~
"Lee, It's for a good cause!" Kurt said while at Lee's side.
"I'm beginning to doubt that!" Lee spewed.
"Hey!" Kurt exclaimed as he continued to watch the entrance to the VIP tent, "Why? Isn't that Dotty?"
Lee replied, laughing, "Why yes it is!"
Kurt fumed! 'What on earth is my wife doing falling all over that infidel! That pit boss will never hear the end of this!' "Why, she's a great grandmother for goodness sake!"
Lee and Kurt watched in amazement as Mike put his arm around Dotty and escorted her into the VIP tent. Dotty shot a triumphant look back at Kurt and smiled.
Funny, Captain Kurt did not seem amused!