8thanks for coming to read my story. please review, but dont be too harsh, i dont write often and i have finally gotten up the courage to post something. so i hope you enjoy it.
-Leanza
disclaimer: if i owned anything this would be in a book and not on a fanfiction site, wouldnt it? haha.
He remembered vividly the tiny twelve year old he last knew her as, with knobby knees and an awkward preteen figure. She had been smaller than anyone he ever knew around her age. She was his princess, and he was her knight in shining armor. Of course, he was twenty three and she was twelve, but even then he knew that he loved her. That was why he stayed with Victoire. No one would ever know, or needed to know, that he felt so strongly for the girl (no, the little girl) he had watched grow since birth.
It wasn't sexual of course, it was just love. He wanted to spend the rest of his life holding her when she cried and being the one to make her eyes light up and smile even when she hadn't wanted to in the first place. He wanted to be there for her in every aspect of her life as she grew up; and he pushed her away. Every time she ran to him for comfort when her brothers teased her or her cousins tried to use magic to make her "prettier", he told her to grow up, to stop being a baby and fight her own battles. When she ran away from him, bawling, he resisted the urge to pick her up in his arms and carry her to their spot and tell her that she was prettier than anything magic could do to her.
Ginny watched and she knew what her godson was going through. She understood from the first time he told his princess he didn't want to take care of her and she needed to stand up for herself. The older woman saw the pain in his eyes. Teddy didn't care that she knew; he cared only that he make it stop. It was so wrong for him to feel that way about a twelve year old.
So he pushed and pushed and eventually, Lily stopped trying. She no longer came to cuddle up in his bed during a thunderstorm. Instead James somehow wound up next her to at night, comforting her for more than just the scary noise outside. Teddy heard them one night; he had been living with them for a while. James was whispering to his sister that everything would be alright. Teddy thought nothing of it until he heard her say "It will never be alright when he hates me." She didn't ask him to take her swimming or flying or on trips to Diagon Alley. She didn't cry in front of him, but he heard her in the room next to his, sobbing before she eventually fell asleep. And on those nights he heard James leave his room and go into Lily's, and then return to his room before anyone awoke in the morning.
And then, he didn't see her anymore. Winter break came and she elected to stay at the school and so did James, only to keep his sister company, he assured the family. Then summer came and although James returned with Albus and their cousins, Lily did not. James fought tooth and nail with his family to leave the thirteen year old alone. He never revealed where she had gone.
Now she was back and she was seventeen years old, just out of Hogwarts and only returning because James asked her to come to the graduation party the family had set up for the three Weasleys that were ending their years at the school. So he watched as she materialized from the fireplace and glided gracefully into her brother's arms. He was the only one to greet her as everyone else stared in shock. Of course her cousins had seen her throughout her years at school, but for her to appear in front of the entire family one summer after five years away surprised everyone, especially Teddy.
He had broken it off with Victoire about two years prior. He hadn't given her the attention she needed and he saw that Alexander homas was; so he let her go and be happy. There were no hard feelings, and they remained best friends. So he left her side when he saw that Lily, who looked nothing like twelve year old Lily, walked into the garden, through the woods, and to their spot. He followed her silently, watching as she slipped the shirt over her head and removed the fashionable jeans she had been wearing. He looked away quickly when he realized she was about to remove her last layers of clothing.
This wasn't the first time she had done this. The two of them used to swim here all of the time before she left. That was why he pushed her away so hard when he figured out he loved her, in more than a best friend kind of way. He had seen her undressed, but she had been a child, and she was too young to really care that he saw her. Of course he always kept his underwear on, he was older and he didn't want her to ask questions. So now, seeing that she was a woman, she had curves and parts that weren't his to see, he turned away but did not leave.
"Teddy, come swim with me." Her voice was quiet, innocent almost, but he knew better than to think her innocent at seventeen. But her voice brought him back to her, he knew Lily inside and out, at least, he had before she ran away. So without hesitation, he stripped to his underwear and went to get in the water.
"Take them off, Teddy. I am not a child anymore, if you get to see all of me, then I get to see all of you." It was dark, and the water was rippling around them, mostly preventing any view of their bodies under the water. So he took off his underwear and stepped into the water with her. For a minute he tried to stay far away, willing himself not to touch her, to yank her body to his and devour her in kisses. He imagined the way her flaming red curls would feel running through his fingers, and how hot her skin would be if he touched his lips to it.
Thoughts of her pressed against him in the moonlight, his hands, fingers, lips caressing every inch of skin fluttered through his mind as he watched her sink underneath the water and then rise again, pushing the hair from her face. That was when he realized how clear the water was and how her red hair under the moonlight shined, lighting her face in a soft glow. She waded in the water and he treaded water, just out of reach of her. And then suddenly she was only inches from his touch and she was crying. He watched as tears slipped off her cheeks into the clear water of the pond no one else knew about.
He wiped a streak from her face with his thumb, lingering for a moment longer than he should. "Where did you go?" He asked quietly.
"Away..." she whispered with a choked back sob.
"Away from who, Lily?"
"Everyone, Teddy, everyone but myself."
"Why?" Of course he knew why, but he wondered if she would tell him or say something other than the reason he knew was the truth. She looked up and around, anywhere but in his eyes.
"Do you really have to ask me that?" Then she turned her head, pulling her face from his palm.
"No." He shook his head; he didn't need her to say it was all his fault. He knew it was his pushing that led her away from her family. Ginny had taken him aside after accepting that she wouldn't be coming home. The redhead that looked so much like Lily told him that night that she understood his reasons and she understood her daughter's as well. His respect for her grew tenfold at that moment.
"I have to go, Teddy bear." He held a ghostly smile for a moment at the name, and then realized she was making her way out of the water.
"Please, stay." He reached for her arm and caught her hand. She stopped and looked into his eyes. Tears cascaded from her eyes and she wiped them with her free hand. He stared silently at her for a moment. She was standing at the edge of the water, her hair lying around her neck, the curve of her body outlined in the moonlight.
"I cant, you know I can't." He knew it was hurting her, but he couldn't let her leave yet. He still loved her just as much as before and now, now there was more. There was a possibility that they could be together. She wasn't a twelve year old girl anymore.
"Why not?" He pulled her back in the water, not caring about their lack of clothes. He held her for a long time in silence. She seemed to be in deep thought. Then she pressed her lips to his and he responded immediately. Suddenly they were touching and exploring each other as they never had before. And then he was pulled into her and she cried out. That was when he realized she was a virgin, she was still innocent Lily and he had just taken that from her. It was then that he felt the tears fall down his face and she kissed his cheeks and lips, encouraging him to keep going.
Then they both cried out together and he held on to her like she was a lifeline. She squeezed her arms around him and cried in both joy and sadness. And he whispered, "I've always loved you." And she whispered, "I have always loved you as well."
She let go of him and got out of the water, slipped on her clothes once again after a quick drying spell over her, and sat on the grass. "I still have to go, Teddy bear. I have to leave here. This isn't my home anymore."
"Why can't it be, Lily? Look at what just happened. I didn't know…I didn't know I would be your first. I love you; you love me; why won't you stay?" He held his breath, waiting for her to give in, walk with him back to the house hand in hand and announce their love for one another to the family. But he knew, he knew his Lily and she wasn't planning on returning to her family ever again.
"Because I am a traveler and the world isn't in your arms anymore." And she apparated into the night, leaving Teddy staring at the spot where she had been standing. In her place lie a silver ring, engraved with the words, forever yours, and he knew she had left it for him.