I AM SO, SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY. A lot of ugly drama went down between now and the last update, both personal and work-related, which I won't get into here. Work and school have and continue to keep me busy. If you haven't yet given up on me, you are my favorite forever. Wow, I'm terrible. Okay, moving on.
Warnings: It might be a little angsty in the beginning/middle, but the end will be totally fluff. Language, and such.
Disclaimers: I still don't own WWE, its Superstars, or am in any way affiliated with them. Please be nice to me, Jeff and John. I love you guys.
Notes: last chapter! I may write something else with this pairing; I really do like it. Did you know I actually started writing this story in the back of my government/politics notebook? I was waiting for my classroom to open, so I just sat outside and started writing. Lo and behold, it actually turned in to something.
To my readers: Thanks so much for the reviews! I can't believe how much attention this story has gotten and how many of you have stuck by me through this experience. Thank you all for reading.
Reviews and Critique: yes please! As a departing gift, perhaps?
Enjoy!
Chapter 5: finding closure
Jeff hated having relationship talks with Beth. This was mainly because he never thought the level of trust they had in each other would deteriorate so much that they would actually have to sit down and talk about it. He liked to think that he had a strong and secure relationship with this incredible woman he would never stop loving because he truly believed that's what it was. And as far as he knew, that's what she thought too.
Well, maybe up until now.
But maybe this was a good thing. Matt mentioned that Beth thought he was hiding something from her. She was always sharp, he'd give her that. He knew that he wouldn't be able to hide the John Morrison Situation from her forever, but he also knew that she respected his space. This could be his solution—just get it out and done with.
Easier said than done.
They had talked a few days ago while he was at tapings. She had reminded him that he could tell her anything, and he said he didn't know where to start.
He should have known that she wasn't going to let it go.
"Start somewhere," she said once he got home.
"Where?" he replied. Words eluded him. It probably wouldn't have been that big of a deal if Beth knew that John Morrison was trying to seduce him. What he didn't want her to know more than anything else, was that it was very nearly working. John had already kissed him on three separate occasions. He had practically let him. How was he supposed to tell her that?
He ended up just telling her that a coworker was harassing him. He didn't tell her who; she probably already knew anyway. It wasn't a lie, but it was still hiding the crucial details from her. After constructing a story around it, convincing her that this was the reason he was so edgy and harried lately, she seemed satisfied enough to leave the conversation at that for the time being. Was she completely convinced? Probably not, but at this point, Jeff was just going to take what he could get.
Beth went upstairs, leaving Jeff where he was. Matt emerged from the adjoining room shortly after.
"How did it go?" he asked.
Jeff took a few moments before replying. "Well enough."
"Where is she?"
"Went upstairs. To calm down or something…"
Jeff was sitting in his favorite chair. He was bent forward with his elbows on his knees and one hand on his head. Matt came over and sat in the chair next to him.
"What did you tell her?"
"Nothing she didn't already know."
"Maybe you should reconsider that."
"I'll work it out," Jeff said, firmly.
Mat was silent for a several seconds. "Do you mean to cut things off with John completely now?"
Jeff straightened up, gaping slightly. He actually hadn't considered it. After all the stress that John had put him through, the strain it had put on him and his relationship…he had never actually considered severing things with John.
"I-I don't know," he replied, unsure. "It would be kind of hard, since we work together and all…"
"Just talk to the bosses, I'm sure they can keep him out of your storylines," Matt said. "You don't even have to rat him out if you don't want to. It could be for the better."
Yeah, it probably would, thought Jeff.
"I'll think about it."
.xXx.
Beth walked with them to the car. Matt was loading suitcases into the trunk and Jeff was standing by the passenger's-side door, arms wrapped around his girlfriend. She seemed much more at ease now that she and Jeff had gotten around to talking, even though she wasn't completely satisfied with the answers he had given her. Whatever Jeff had told her, she seemed to be buying it—for the most part, anyway. He promised he would call as soon as they checked into their hotel, and also that he would call if any coworkers started giving him crap again.
Of course he would; that's what good boyfriends do.
Matt was already sitting in the driver's seat by the time Jeff and Beth were wrapping up. He kissed her good-bye, like he always did, but then he paused. Something didn't feel right. It deeply unsettled him.
Disturbed, Jeff pulled away from Beth's hold.
"Gotta go," he said, smiling quickly. "Call you when we touch down. Love you, babe."
Before she can so much as say anything, or even before she could read any of the concern on his face, he turned around and got into the car. He managed to avoid eye contact as Matt backed out of the driveway by busying himself with his seatbelt and carry-on bag.
For Jeff, he was uncertain of one thing, and that was the reason as to why kissing his girlfriend of ten years felt wrong. But for what it was worth, he was certain of something: he wanted two things. The first thing he wanted was to get away from Beth as fast as possible. The second thing he wanted was to find John Morrison and break his fucking face.
.xXx.
Jeff almost didn't want to go to work. He wanted to check into his hotel and just stay there. He very nearly felt sick enough to call in and take the night off. What was happening with Beth was making him sick, but what was happening with John was making him sick even more so.
He didn't know why kissing Beth felt wrong all of a sudden. He had been able to kiss her as normal up until this point, even through his ordeal with John. As far as he knew, there was no explanation. Could it be that the stress had made Jeff distance himself from Beth? Maybe her incessant line of questioning and worry had put him off, or the guilt of being unable to tell her the truth had made him want to avoid her?
No. He would never avoid her, and never want to. He pushed the thought from his mind as he and Matt walked into the arena's backstage area. Once inside, Matt went to go see if their friend Greg Helms had checked in yet and Jeff continued on to their dressing room, contemplating every other reason he could think of for the sudden distance between himself and Beth. Along the way, he spotted John Morrison standing in the hallway talking to a stagehand.
And then it hit him.
Not too long ago, John had kissed him with a passion that bordered the line of violence, and he had let it happen. For whatever reason, John kissing him had sparked in him a kind of thrill, an excitement that he had never experienced before. Beth never kissed him like that, and having John kiss him and elicit such emotions in him made kissing Beth now seem wrong.
The stagehand was leaving and Jeff was advancing on him. He would have jumped him even if the stagehand were still there; he didn't care. He just did not fucking care. Before he even knew what he was doing, he had two fistfuls of John's shirt and he was throwing him against the wall.
John would have said something, but the force of hitting the wall knocked the wind out of him. Instead, he could only stare open-mouthed at Jeff, who was glaring right back at him, nearly shaking with rage.
"What the hell have you done to me?" Jeff shouted.
Curiously, John raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"
"Don't play innocent with me, you bastard," Jeff snapped. "You know exactly what I mean! I mean this! All of this! Whatever it is you're doing to me, because I know you're doing something!"
"Jeff—."
"I can't even kiss my own girlfriend anymore!"
John's eyes widened a little in surprise, firstly at what Jeff had said, and secondly at how quickly Jeff's expression had changed from anger to pain. For a while, he was too stunned to say anything. Neither of them said anything, and Jeff continued to stand there, still with two fistfuls of John's shirt and the look of utmost hurt and confliction on his face. John's heart nearly ripped in half just at the sight of it.
Someone saw them. Neither of them knew who it was; they weren't paying attention and they didn't care. But whoever it was, he must have mistaken the confrontation for a scuffle and jumped in to pull Jeff away from John. Jeff didn't resist the man, and as soon as he was off of John, he was storming away, continuing on to his dressing room without a word or so much as a backwards glance.
John stared after him for a while, replaying the scene in his head. He knew he was dating Beth and that they had been dating for quite some time now. When Jeff had been in his hotel room and he had him pinned to the bed, he asked him "What about Beth?" John had been so caught up in the moment that he barely registered that Beth was his girlfriend and just dismissed her. He knew Jeff was dating her, but when he started this game, he never once considered her or the consequences.
He didn't know how to feel.
John Morrison, what have you done?
.xXx.
After the show ended, Jeff didn't wait for Matt. He sent his brother a text to let him know that he was going back to the hotel by himself and that he would wait for him there. Undoubtedly Matt would want to hit the town with some friends, and Jeff did not feel up to joining them at all. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically. He had won his scheduled match, but was so unfocused that he nearly ruined the taping session. He managed to bypass officials asking him what the hell happened out there by hiding in his dressing room for a while, and then making a bee-line for the door once the coast was clear.
He just wanted to avoid everyone. But he knew that sooner later, he would have to go back home to Beth. That he couldn't avoid.
And as it would seem, he also couldn't avoid John Morrison.
Whether or not John planned all of these convenient interceptions, he didn't know, but it almost seemed to uncanny not to be true. Jeff was on his way to the parking lot using the less-traveled back-route when John walked through the door. From the looks of it, he was just arriving for a bit of post-show training with R-Truth. He wasn't in tonight's episode, yet he was walking in to the arena with a duffle bag over his shoulder.
John sure had a knack for showing up everywhere he went.
Once John walked through the door, Jeff stopped walking. John closed the door behind him and looked up to see Jeff standing in the middle of the hallway staring at him. Intrigued, John let a grin break ever so slightly across his face as he began walking towards Jeff. Jeff held his ground. John could feel the heat from Jeff's smoldering glare as he neared him, and stopped walking several feet away from him.
This was what he wanted, there was no denying that. John had started this game with one thing in mind: play off of Jeff's popularity status to boost himself into the spotlight. He needed to gain his trust and cooperation if he was going to succeed, and to an extent, he did. Feuding with the Hardys, and eventually partnering with them got him the face-time he wanted. But Jeff was resistant. He had been fighting it the whole time. Jeff was letting John use him, even though he knew that it wasn't in his best interest. Jeff was letting John emotionally tear him apart.
John had found the need to get inside of Jeff's head to see through the success of the game, but what of the romantic aspects of it? He had come so far, and Jeff had gone along with him, it almost seemed like he was too far in to stop now. In truth, he was surprised at how far Jeff had let him come. Despite all of Jeff's yelling at him and all of his threats, he never once reported him to management. Now that he thought about it, Jeff's been a real good sport about this whole thing.
Maybe it was time to wrap things up.
"Jeff, I—," John started.
"Shut. Up."
John was taken aback at the force of Jeff's words. He immediately silenced himself.
"You're a son of a bitch, you know that?" Jeff said, fury underlying his voice. "I really could care less what you're doing with your career and what you do to get yourself ahead. You can do whatever you want with yourself, and even with me for that matter, as long as you keep my personal life out of it."
John stared at him. Did he just say what he thought he did? Jeff had picked up on the spotlight-grabbing aspect of the game, but it was possible he still didn't know why.
"You know damn well as anyone else that I have a girlfriend," Jeff continued. "I've been with her for a long time, and I plan on being with her for a long time more. I love her more than anything, and nothing you say to me or do to me will change that. However I react to all of your mind games and advances, I don't care what you think about it. As long as you know, and I know you do, that nothing, nothing you do will ever make me stop loving her."
And now it's come to this. Jeff now thought that John was trying to steal him away from Beth? That was not at all what John had in mind. Jeff was so close, yet so far from the truth. John had no intention of stealing Jeff from anyone, but could he blame him for thinking that? What with everything he had been doing lately, he might as well have been trying to do just that. All he wanted to do was mess with him, to have the fun and excitement that Melina couldn't give him. But that wasn't the original intent of the game. When he accomplished the original goal, to gain spotlight and popularity, he kept dragging the game out when he should have left it where it was. He was in way too deep, and didn't know why.
John looked away from Jeff. "I know."
Jeff expression didn't change.
John was quickly becoming frustrated. He was frustrated at himself for getting way in over his head, for letting himself endanger his own career for a thrill, for inadvertently trying to tear apart two people who were more in love than he would ever know. Jeff's anger was only fueling this frustration.
"Jeff, I never meant for Beth to get mixed up in this—."
"Then what did you mean for?"
"I—."
"Did you accomplish it? Are you happy with what you've done?"
"No, Jeff, it—."
"Do you realize what you've done?"
"I never meant for any of this to happen!"
"What did you mean to happen?"
"To use you and be done!" John shouted.
Then there was silence. Jeff's expression slackened. John probably would have been horrified at what he had just let slip if he weren't already brimming on the edge of anger. It took a while for either of them to find their composure again.
"You know," Jeff said, much more gently now, "there was a time when I thought you actually genuinely cared. When Vince was dragging me through hell and Punk screwed up my neck, I thought you cared. I respected you for the MNM feud, because it was good for ratings. Through all of the years, it seemed like you cared about the business. It seemed like you cared about me. But you know? It's good to know that you didn't. All you cared about was manipulating me for your own personal gain. And you did that, and you got what you wanted, didn't you? But you just kept going, dragging my mental health and personal relationship into your twisted web, just because you could. You are the most selfish, heartless bastard I have ever known, and I'm an idiot for having ever fallen for it."
The hurt was back in Jeff's eyes, but it wasn't the hurt of betrayal or disappointment. It looked more like…the hurt of losing someone he cared for. Jeff had given in to the spotlight-grabbing aspect of the game. Had he also been about to give in to the romantic aspect?
Jeff turned to walk away, and he had taken so much as three steps before John went after him. He grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around and embraced him. Stunned, Jeff just stood there with his arms half-raised, still too angry to return the gesture but numb enough to let John hug him.
"I never wanted to hurt you," John whispered. "I would have stopped if I didn't think you liked what I was doing."
Jeff was taken aback by his words. This was my fault… he thought. I let this happen.
His heart was being torn in half by the confusion of emotions happening all through his body. He wanted to be angry at John, to blame him for everything that's gone wrong. He wanted to be angry at himself for letting it happen and for being too stupid and weak to resist him. How paranoid had he been, how restless and distressed, how much sleep had he lost, how many fights he had almost gotten into with Beth, and he could have stopped it all.
Back when he was still feuding with MNM, he had heard it said that Johnny Nitro had a strategic and methodical plan for everything he did. Well…they were right. And once again, he had gotten one over on Jeff Hardy.
With a shaking hand, Jeff slowly reached up and grabbed a handful of John's shirt and pulled him away. John took a step back and Jeff was staring at him with eyes that burned.
"John," Jeff said, "you're a fucking asshole."
John didn't look at him. There was nothing for him to say.
When Jeff regained strength in his legs, he left. Jeff was still numb, and found himself stumbling away more than he was storming away. He wanted to be angry. He wanted to be furious at John. But how could he?
His head hurt.
Everything hurt.
.xXx.
A few days later, Jeff got his medical results in the mail.
The last time he and Beth had an argument about work and his health, they managed to resolve it. Part of that resolution required Jeff to get himself checked out. Jeff was reluctant, but ultimately did it to please Beth. He wasn't so sure the results would please him, though. But considering what John had been putting him through, the check-up and the results were the least painful parts about what was wrong.
He indeed had a neck injury, but that he already knew. But it turned out he also had restless leg syndrome and two herniated disks in his lower back. He sighed, staring at the piece of paper in his hand. What would this mean, now? He would probably have to leave the WWE for a while.
But…was that a bad thing?
"What's that?" Beth asked, walking over to the table.
"Here," Jeff said, handing it to her. Beth took the results from him and looked it over. As she read more of it, she started to bite her lip. When she finished, she looked up at him.
"Oh, Jeff…" she breathed. "What now?"
"Well, I have to share this with the bosses," Jeff said, taking the paper back. "I'll probably have to take a break for a while, and then get all of this fixed." He held up the results page. "I shouldn't be out for too long."
Beth nodded. "And, have you made up your mind about…?"
He knew what she was talking about. "I think so."
.xXx.
It was August of 2009 and Jeff was leaving the WWE. His contract with the company was expiring, and he figured that this was as good a time as any to get his injuries dealt with. He planned on taking as much time as necessary to heal his injuries before returning to the ring. It was to make Beth happy.
Word had a way of getting around quickly in the WWE. Any gossip that concerned a high-ranking Superstar like Jeff Hardy had a way of getting around even faster. So it wasn't soon before people found out about Jeff's contract status, his injuries, and that he was leaving the WWE. It also somehow got out that when Jeff recovered from his injuries and eventually returned to the ring, he would be returning to TNA.
He had been thinking about it for a while, and for the longest time Beth and Matt were the only ones that knew. The WWE had tried their hardest to hold on to him, offering him a special contract where he wouldn't have to work house shows. These contracts were rarely ever offered or even carried through with, but Jeff was adamant about his decision. Many people within the company were shocked by this, firstly that Jeff was leaving for TNA, secondly that he was leaving at all, and thirdly that the WWE had offered him such a contract and that he actually turned it down.
CM Punk hadn't exactly relented on the in-ring intensity during their matches, but did start to show Jeff a little more respect and gratitude backstage. During television tapings of Smackdown, the two of them would go out and raise hell. Jeff would pay for it physically, but the fans loved it and he knew that he would be able to take time off to rest soon and decided to push himself for all he was worth. Backstage, Punk commended him on his years of exceptional work in the WWE and thanked him for the opportunity to partake in such an engaging and climactic storyline. For all that Punk had put him through in the ring, Jeff couldn't tell if the man hated him or not. It was almost like dealing with the Johnny Nitro storyline again. Jeff didn't have much to say, so he shook Punk's hand and thanked him as well.
Feelings about Jeff's impending departure were mixed. Most people were happy for Jeff, that he was taking some much needed time off and that he was moving forward with his career. Others were devastated. John Morrison was among them.
At this time, John found himself compromised by news of Jeff's departure. He simply did not know what to do. He hadn't finished the game yet—he had gotten close, but things fell apart before he could finish. But what exactly entailed "finishing" this game anyway? Well, that he wasn't quite sure.
It didn't take long for him to decide that the game was over after all. He had essentially gotten what he wanted, which was to use Jeff's popularity to boost his own. He had more than succeeded in that. The rest had just been for fun. But who was it fun for? He couldn't believe himself for having been so selfish. While he was having the time of his life basking in the spotlight and manipulating a helpless man just for the satisfaction of being able to, Jeff had suffered for it. He had become paranoid and upset, getting in to fights with his brother and girlfriend. The game had taken a visible toll on Jeff's health. John cared about Jeff, but how could he have let this go on for so long if he really had cared about him?
There was no sense in keeping this up. It wasn't worth it to keep tormenting Jeff for the rest of his stay. For however long Jeff had left in the WWE, John wanted it to be an enjoyable stay. And that meant no meddling.
For the next few weeks, John avoided Jeff. Well, it's not like he could avoid him completely. He did work with him after all. The creative team had since decided to take John down a different storyline, while they would be playing up Jeff's feud with Punk. Word had it that CM Punk was going to be the one who would send Jeff home for good.
John just hoped he was nice about it.
And of course Jeff noticed this. This was probably the first time in months that John had given him any personal space. It happened so abruptly, he felt like something was missing. It didn't take him long to figure out that John was dodging him. And at first, it baffled him. He had thought that John liked tormenting and messing with him. If anything, he thought that his impending departure from the company would prompt John to harass him even more up until he left. This sudden change in space was almost…abnormal.
John noticed something, too. While he had been doing his damned best to leave Jeff alone for the last few weeks of his stay, he still couldn't completely get away from him. Jeff still turned up almost wherever he went, and for once, John himself wasn't instigating it. Was Jeff following him?
There were of course times where John just couldn't help himself. The man looked so lost and confused, and so damned irresistible. It made him remember why he had been so intrigued by him in the first place. Sometimes when the halls were particularly crowded and the two men were passing each other, they would squeeze past each other and John would lean in towards Jeff as close as he dared. He had no intention to kiss him, but lord knows he wanted to. He would touch his forehead to Jeff's and bite his lip to keep from kissing him, and then they'd be on their separate ways. The chaos and busy hustle around them ensured that no one saw them.
It was better that way.
There was something missing in Jeff's life, and he could not figure it out. As far as he knew, there was no reason to feel this way—he had a great life. He had a great job, he would be moving into another great job soon, and he had a caring brother and a loving girlfriend. But something was missing from his life. But it wasn't like he didn't have a great life before. He had always been comfortable with where he was, but conflict started to arise when he started working with Johnny Nitro (whether he wanted to or not). Things had certainly changed when Johnny happened to him, he couldn't deny that. Whether or not things had changed for the better, he didn't know. But it seemed now like John had made a lasting impact on him indeed, and the one thing he was missing now was closure.
Too much happened between him and John to just let it go, especially now that John was outright ignoring him. Jeff wanted to understand why he was doing this, but found himself too distraught to form a conclusion. The expiration of his contract was nearing, and he hadn't spoken to John in weeks. John hadn't made a move on him, tried to kiss him, tried to get into his head and mess with his mental health…and after so many months of enduring it, to suddenly quit cold turkey was…hard.
It bothered him. A lot.
He didn't want to admit it. He hated himself for admitting it, but he had gotten so attached to a man he hated so much for nearly ruining his life. When he left the WWE, he'd be leaving behind everything of his past—all of his storylines, his legacy, his friends and coworkers…
And John.
It was a good thing. Really.
.xXx.
Jeff's last match in the WWE was a "Loser Leaves Town" cage match with CM Punk. By now, word had leaked to the fanbase that Jeff's contract was expiring, but they still rooted and cheered for him as he and Punk tore it up for several intense back-and-forth minutes. Everyone knew how the match was going to end, but that didn't keep the tears from flowing when Punk sent Jeff home.
It was a tough moment. As Punk stood victorious on the outside of the cage and gloated his victory, Jeff sat in the middle of the ring, truly heartbroken. He had just lost his last match in the WWE. Perhaps the storyline leading up to his departure could have been better, but honestly there was no better wrestler he would have wanted to have end his career.
Of course, that didn't mean he would never return to the WWE. He just wanted a change of pace for a while. And now he had time off to heal up. As he sat there and the fans chanted his name, he soaked in their adoration and the glory they had given him, but damn…he hurt.
He was swamped by Superstars and Divas once he made it backstage. On one hand, he loved having the chance to say goodbye to all of them and to hear their thoughts on his career and thank him for the opportunity to work with him. And on the other hand, he really just wanted to leave. It was getting harder to leave just from seeing all of them at once, and his body was aching something fierce. But he couldn't just blow them off—this was probably the last time he was going to see them.
Although, the one person he didn't want to see was John Morrison.
He still didn't know how to feel about that man. But one thing for sure, it was probably best if they did not cross each other on his way out. John had put him through some tough times, but he had to hand it to him—John had really helped him to open his eyes to new things, to discover parts of himself he never knew were there and to push himself in ways he never thought possible. John had hurt him as much as he had helped him. But that still didn't excuse him for being a manipulative bastard.
Jeff hated him. But he also kind of didn't.
When Jeff finally got back to the lockerroom, he found Matt waiting for him. The first thing Matt did was hug him and commend him on a great match.
"Thanks, Matt," he said.
"Bet you just want to get the hell out of here, huh?" Matt said with a grin.
Jeff couldn't help but laugh. "You got it."
"How do you feel?"
"Numb," Jeff answered. "Physically and mentally. My body hurts, but it also hurts me to know that I'm done with the WWE."
"Well, not forever," Matt said. "You know Vince would take you back. You're good for business, and you know how Vince is about that."
"Yeah, I do," Jeff said. "But lord, I am going to enjoy my time off."
"I know Beth would appreciate it too," Matt said. He slapped him on the arm and started grabbing their bags.
"Yeah, she would," Jeff said. "Look, I'm probably going to run into some more people on my way out and I don't want to hold you up, so why don't you go on ahead and bring the car around? I'll meet up with you, okay?"
"Sounds good," Matt replied. "See you in a little bit."
Matt left the lockerroom and Jeff heaved a heavy sigh. It would be a few minutes before Matt came around with the car. It was a few minutes that Jeff would finally have to himself. He wished Matt hadn't brought Beth up. He still loved her madly, but felt a stab of guilt every time he thought of her, and the fact that this was not entirely John's fault. He felt guilty for doing everything he did with John, for letting John do those things to him, and for the idea that he would actually miss John when he left. He didn't want to miss him. He wanted to hate him. He wanted to, but…
Jeff finished packing his bag. There was nothing left now but to make a break for the parking lot. He cracked open the dressing room door and took a peek out into the hallway. He felt stupid for checking to make sure the coast was clear, but he didn't want to run into anyone else on his way out. He just wanted to be in his own bed in his own home and rest. The halls were empty. The other Superstars must have already left, or were probably gathered somewhere for post-show celebrations. He figured the timing wasn't going to get any more perfect, so he grabbed his bag, scanned the room one last time, and then headed out.
He took his usual route to the parking lot. Usual as of late, anyway. It was the back route that Superstars took to avoid interacting with fans, and Jeff had found that he'd been using his route a lot in recent attempts to avoid John. He wasn't quite sure he kept using this route—it hadn't proved very successful in the past.
And didn't prove very successful now.
"So that's it? You're going to leave, just like that?"
Jeff cringed. He turned around slowly, but avoided eye contact. This was exactly what he was trying to avoid, but he never could avoid this man, could he?
"My contract expired, John, what do you want me to do?" Jeff sighed.
John felt panicked. He wanted Jeff to stay. He never finished the game, but to hell with that. He cared about this man more than he should, and he wasn't sure what he'd do without him. He was just so appealing, so enticing, so perfectly curious and hard-to-get. He had never encountered anyone like Jeff, and he felt like losing Jeff would be like losing the most exciting thing that had ever happened to him.
"They couldn't get you to stay, huh?" he said. "I heard they offered you a 'no house shows' contract. And you actually turned it down? Maybe you're not aware, but that's a pretty sweet deal."
Jeff sighed, becoming increasingly frustrated. He had been trying to avoid this kind of confrontation, and especially with John. All he wanted was to leave and be rid of this man that had almost ruined his life. "You know, I really need the time off to heal my injuries."
"But then to jump ship to TNA…" John said. "You've just accomplished so much here in WWE. This is where you became a legend. I thought you liked it here." He turned his head away slightly, and very softly said, "With me…"
"What?" Jeff snapped. He hadn't even taken the time to pause and absorb his words. The incredulity had stunned him. "Why on earth would I want to stay here with you? After all that you did to me? After what you put me through? You fucking used me!"
John didn't look at him. "Only in the beginning."
Jeff gaped. Memories of their recent encounters came back to him. Yes, this man had mentally tormented him in their early feuding days, and even more so following the downfall of MNM. Then again, Jeff could not deny that he was also partially to blame. He had let John mess with him as they both pushed their own boundaries. Even through all of the mind games, he could sense that John cared about him, especially during the height of his feud with CM Punk. Jeff had really learned a lot about himself through this ordeal. Yet he couldn't help but feel like John had only treated him as his new play-thing to keep him entertained after he lost his tag team and championship gold, but there was a sincerity in his eyes during the last week that hadn't been there before. Whenever they encountered each other, John had looked at him with a kind of pain and remorse.
Remorse.
John cared about him. He cared enough to stop using him when he learned of Jeff's contract expiration.
John had used him. But Jeff wasn't angry.
"I'm sorry," Jeff said, softly. "I have to go."
He turned and pushed open the door slightly. He could see the parking lot, now. It was quiet and dimly lit. The other Superstars had probably headed out by now, and five minutes ago, Jeff was dying to be one of them. Just minutes ago, he was aching to get back home and to leave this place, to avoid all contact from people who were about to become his past. But now he had the opportunity and he was hesitating. He stood there, the door partially open, freedom awaiting him on the other side, and he couldn't move. There was a knot in his chest, an emptiness. The feeling that he was missing something.
Closure.
Jeff let the door close as he set his bags down before turning around and walking straight at John. John hadn't wanted to watch Jeff leave, so his head was still turned, and only when Jeff placed his hand on the side of his face did he realize that he was still here. Jeff turned John's face towards him and then, without pressuring or daring himself at all, very gently kissed John Morrison. John was initially shocked by this act, but there was a genuine kindness in it. John grabbed a handful of Jeff's shirt sleeve and placed his other hand on the back of Jeff's head. There was almost an urgency in the way he responded to the kiss. This would be the last time he'd touch him for a while.
Or maybe ever.
It pained him.
When they finally broke apart, they just stared at each other. Jeff was surprised, not only at what he just did, but also at how much he realized he would actually miss this man. There were so many things he wanted to tell him. John may have made his life more difficult than he could handle for a while, but he also helped him more than he wanted to admit. He wanted John to know that he was glad that his last run in the WWE was with him.
Somehow, he was sure he knew.
"Goodbye," Jeff said. No other words came to him.
"Bye," John said. It was all he could manage.
Without another word or another glance back, Jeff picked up his bags and walked out of the arena for the last time. John, having no further purpose in the now empty hallway, walked back to his lockerroom to carry on the mundane and everyday kind of life he had before he had Jeff Hardy. He was glad for the closure. Jeff wasn't the only one who needed it.
When Jeff entered the parking lot, he found Matt waiting for him with the car idling. He threw his things into the trunk before joining Matt in the front seat.
"There you are," Matt said as Jeff shut the door. "What took you so long?"
"Got held up," Jeff said simply. "Had to say goodbye to a few people."
"Did you see Morrison?"
Jeff paused. "Yeah. I did."
"Well that's nice," Matt said as they started to drive out of the parking lot. "Did you two finally patch things up?"
Jeff looked back towards the arena and smiled. "I'd say so."
"Good for you," Matt said. "I wouldn't have wanted you guys to end on bad terms."
Jeff smiled. "Me neither."
End Chapter 5
End "Nothing Casual"
So, that's it. This update took me way longer than I thought it would. Again, I'm sorry about that, but I hope the chapter made up for the wait!
Please review the story and give me your overall thoughts on it. I would love to hear them!
And now…off to finish my other story I haven't updated in forever. Feel free to drop by and give my other stuff a read.
Until then ;) -MLCP