Authors' Note

Missnunyastalkerfan: Welcome back! I'm so glad you're still reading this! :D

Miss Nunya: Me too! *hugs readers*

Missnunyastalkerfan: Even though some people thought a few of our characters (like Kory) were a little psycho. Even though she's not.

Kory: Thanks! But I can be a bit psycho in this story.

Miss Nunya: *snorts* A bit? Chickadee, you take the Crazy Cake in this story!

Missnunyastalkerfan: Cake? There's cake? I want cake!

Kory: I wish I could share with you, but I was planning on sharing it with Sleazy. After adding antifreeze icing…

Miss Nunya: Just don't get caught poisoning him, hun. Wouldn't want another court case on our hands.

Missnunyastalkerfan: I'll cover for you, Kory! As long as I get to see him die! Muahahaha! Hehe, just kidding readers!

Miss Nunya: *whispers to readers* She was totally serious.

Missnunyastalkerfan: Do you want to join the others underneath the school courtyard? Um… I mean… enjoy the story! Don't look at me like that!

Miss Nunya: *rolls eyes* I'm going to ignore the fact that you just threatened me with the body hide-out I save for my evil teachers.

Missnunyastalkerfan: You go right ahead!

Kory: Um, maybe I should go now…

Miss Nunya: Great, we're so insane that we scared off the psycho.

Missnunyastalkerfan: Well, I guess we should let the readers read the story now…

Miss Nunya: Yeah, before we scare them off, too. ;)

Missnunyastalkerfan: Enjoy peoples!

Last Name

Chapter Three

Say What?

I had changed into more appropriate clothing, jeans and black t-shirt, and reserved a table by the time Kory emerged from the elevator with Dick and Gar. Mr. Sleazy, she informed me, got a call from Daddy so he would be late for breakfast.

"Well, I think Mr. Redd has finally seen the light of day," Kory announced as she flopped down at the table. "He agreed to annul your so-called marriage. And, Rachel, must you wear black?"

"The last time I wore colors, I woke up married," I retorted.

"Good morning," said a girl with blonde hair and big, blue eyes. "My name is Tara and I'll be your waitress for today. Do you know what you'd like to order?"

We finished ordering when Mr. Sleazy came down. "Hey, Rebecca," he greeted.

"It's Rachel!" Kory snapped. "You'll remember that, if you value your pathetic excuse for manhood."

"Is that what Rachel called it?" Mr. Sleazy taunted. "'Cause she was singing a totally different song about my 'manhood'last night."

I didn't pay attention for, just then, our food arrived. I hadn't realized how hungry I was when Kory told me I needed to order more than just herbal tea to absorb the Tequila in my system, but I was starving. And my pancakes looked delicious. So golden and fluffy. The sweet aroma of warm syrup made my stomach grumble, and I dug into my plate.

"Rachel, you're not a monkey; don't eat like one," Kory sighed, daintily biting her omelet.

I just looked at her. I have never seen Kory eat like that. Then, I realized that she was trying to look good in front of Dick, who was, at that very moment, cutting his French toast with a knife and fork. Who does that?

"Relax," Gar said. "Just because Dick eats like a debutante doesn't mean we all have to."

I heard a giggle and looked up to see Tara standing behind Gar with a receipt.

"See," Gar bragged to Dick. "She thinks I'm funny."

"Statistically, I suppose someone has to," I retorted, while glaring at Tara. I hated when waitresses brought the check before I finished eating. It made me feel rushed.

Tara winked at Gar. "Enjoy the rest of your meal," she chirped, setting the receipt down in front of him and walking away.

On the piece of paper was her phone number and a message that said 'Call me, green eyes! -xoxo'

Oh, she so isn't getting a tip.

Gar stared at the paper. "Does she mean me?"

"Well, I'm hoping she doesn't mean Kory," Dick joked.

"Don't worry," Kory simpered. "She wasn't my type."

I rolled my eyes.

"So," Mr. Sleazy began, trying to ease his arm around my waist. "About the whole annulment thing."

"What about it?" I demanded, elbowing him hard in the ribs.

"I was thinking that we should try marriage counseling," he replied calmly.

"What?" Kory and I yelled together. The whole restaurant turned and looked at us.

"Well, I think we were destined to meet by the fates," Mr. Sleazy lied. "Maybe we were meant to be together, but we just don't know it yet."

I replied to that comment with a few unkind phrases.

"Um, dude," Gar said. "Did you hit your head or something?"

"No," Mr. Sleazy laughed. "I just-" he glanced around, "I have to go to the bathroom."

Could he have been any more obvious? I waited until he and Gar had left before throwing Kory a look and sneaking behind them. It's a good thing they didn't actually go into the restroom.

"So, what's wrong with you?" Gar demanded once they were in the hallway leading to the boy's room. I hid around the corner.

"My dad called," Mr. Sleazy whispered. "He found out I got hitched somehow and told me I better not get any bad publicity. Otherwise, I can kiss the multi-billion dollar company goodbye."

"That's… harsh," Gar replied, obviously uncaring.

"Yeah, I know," Mr. Sleazy sighed. "So, I guess I have to stay married to the Ugly Duckling and turn her into a socialite, somehow."

It took all of my self control not to burst in right then and beat the crap out of him.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call her ugly," Gar argued. "I mean, she's kinda cute."

Kinda? I was extremely attractive, thank you very much!

"If you say so," Mr. Sleazy snorted. "Well, I guess I'll have to take her along to New York-" Say what? "And introduce her to the folks. Then, once the company is secured, I can get rid of her."

I couldn't take anymore. I rushed back to the table to tell Kory everything.

"I'm going to kick his corporate butt!" Kory seethed. "Don't worry. We'll have your marriage terminated one way or another."

Authors' Note (again)

Missnunyastalkerfan: Okay. So if you are reading this, you have read Chapter 3! Yay! *pauses* Or you skipped ahead to read this… Bad readers! Bad! Go read the chapter!

Miss Nunya: Actually, I think it's sweet that they would like our psycho-babble enough to skip the chapter. :D

Missnunyastalkerfan: Babble? Babble! You call this babble? Hehe can't really argue with that…

Miss Nunya: Don't forget the 'psycho' part!

Missnunyastalkerfan: I'm not even going to try to argue with that part. Maybe we should have the Crazy Cake… Where is it?

Mr. Sleazy: *in the background* Ooo, cake! With yummy icing!

Kory: Muahahaha!

Miss Nunya: Uh, maybe Kory can keep the Crazy Cake…

Missnunyastalkerfan: Well, so much for Chapter 4...