22Disclaimer: I don't own jack.
~ A Last Goodbye ~
Ryoga paused to look at the house for a long moment before moving up the walkway to the front door. He felt a wave of fear flow through him as he gazed at it, followed by one of sorrow. He pulled out a near-forgotten key to unlock it, then stepped into the darkened hallway. Almost unconsciously, he reached to his left and flipped a switch, bathing the area in warm light.
For the first time in years, Ryoga Hibiki was home.
Ryoga walked slowly down the hall, glancing into the rooms he passed as he went. The kitchen, the living room…everything was exactly the same…
Ryoga closed his eyes as the memories flooded through him. His mother, standing in the kitchen, smiling at him as he handed her a drawing he'd made at school when he was seven…his father, picking him up and spinning around as he laughed when Ryoga was four…
Before he could even think of doing otherwise, Ryoga collapsed on the floor, crying bitterly. His mother shouting…his father hitting him…Ryoga would've given almost anything to have it back anyway, if only for the few happy moments that they'd had together…
Nearly half and hour had passed before Ryoga could gather the strength to stand up again. He left his pack in the hall, then headed for the stairs. At the door to his own bedroom, he hesitated. This was his old refuge, where he'd cried so many tears and tried his best to hide himself from the world until he had set out to disappear into the midst of it…
Ryoga turned the knob and pushed the door open. His bed was still made, his books still lay on top of his desk…he went to the closet and found his old clothes still hanging inside, his old toys still on the shelf…he opened the drawers of the nightstand and found everything inside as he'd left it. Nothing had been touched or moved, nothing taken or thrown away. He glanced at the wastebasket, and was startled to find the aborted remnants of his last homework assignment from eighth grade still lying inside.
Ryoga backed away and sat down on the bed, suddenly feeling dizzy. He'd expected to at least find his old things removed, packed away like the possessions his mother left behind had been, so as not to serve as a reminder of the person they belonged to. But everything of his was here, not taken away to be stored in the attic or basement as he'd thought it would be, but right here, as though his father had expected someone to need it all again…
He was waiting, Ryoga realized. He was waiting for me to come back…he thought I would come home…
Ryoga felt tears sting his eyes again as he stood up, intending to walk out the door. Then he noticed something lying on the nightstand—a white envelope. The only thing that hadn't been there when he'd left.
Swallowing back his tears, he reached down to pick it up. Turning it over, he found his name written on the back.
His hands trembling slightly, Ryoga opened it and pulled out the piece of paper waiting within. It was covered in his father's handwriting.
Ryoga, he read,
If you are reading this, it means that I've died before seeing you again. I wish it were otherwise, but I can't blame you for not returning.
I didn't realize how great a mistake I'd made until the day you disappeared. Then I knew exactly how much I had failed in my duty to you. I wanted to search for you, but I couldn't find it within myself to force you to come back when I had driven you away.
If I could go back and do everything differently, I would. I pray that you can understand that the way I treated you was a mistake, and I hope you believe me when I say that I would have done anything in my power to make it right. I'm sorry I wasn't able to do so, and I hope that someday you will forgive me for it.
The most important thing that I have left to say to you is this: I love you. I regret that I was never able to show it, and despite the way I've acted and the things I've said; if you believe nothing else that I've written, please believe this. I will always be proud that you are my son. I love you, I always loved you, and I always will love you.
With all my heart,
Your Father
Ryoga felt his knees grow weak. After all this time…he'd always thought…
He burst into tears again, sobbing at the unfairness of it all. All the fear and self-hatred, all the doubting and the pain…only to find out now, now, of all times, when they were both already gone…it wasn't fair…
A long time later, Ryoga climbed to his feet. Carefully tucking the letter back into the envelope, he took a final look at his room before going back downstairs. Still brushing stray tears from his face, Ryoga retrieved the tin from his pack and placed the letter inside, then snapped it shut and put it away. Then he slipped the pack on once again and walked to the door, as he had one night so long ago.
But this time, he wouldn't be coming back.
Ryoga closed the door behind him, making sure the lock clicked into place. He went down the walkway, where he'd used to sit as a child, counting the different colored stones, and made his way to the street. Once there, he turned and looked back at the house, the only home he'd ever known…for the last time.
It was time to go.
Ryoga walked down the street, not looking back again. There was one more thing he had to do.
A short time later, as the sun was readying itself to vanish beneath the horizon, Ryoga found himself standing before two graves.
It was the first time Ryoga had been with both of his parents in four years. Death was the only thing to have brought them together for nearly seven.
Ryoga knelt down between them, his head bowed as a soft breeze ruffled through his dark hair.
"I love you both," he whispered, feeling two tears slip down the sides of his face.
Ryoga placed a single red rose before each of the tombstones. Then he stood slowly, his heart free at last.
"Goodbye..."
Ryoga turned and began walking.
He had a promise to keep.
It was time to go…
…home.