Hello Puckleberries! I've been thinking about this for a while. Hopefully, I'll be weaving some flashbacks about our favorite GLEE relationship through the first season roughly. I haven't written fic in a really long time, so I'm rusty! Let me know if you like it.
World Famous Sugar Cookies
"YOU ARE A FREAKING ABOMINATION!"
Ms. Sokoloff, the youth activities director for the Temple Beth Israel-Shaare Zedek of Lima, Ohio hadn't meant to scream so very loudly. She should have remembered that such young people needed constructive criticism, not harsh yelling and pseudo-curse words. But it had been a very long summer for her after all. It had been the first summer that the temple had attempted a summer camp for the young members.
To be honest, it was Lima, Ohio. There were exactly fourteen Jewish families in their Temple and only four of those families had children. She had described the job to her sorority sisters at OSU as a dream job earlier that May. She scoffed inwardly. It should have been her dream job.
Her harsh words were still echoing off the walls as she stared around the room at the frightened pre-teens. The 10 year-old-girl she had been trying to introduce was actually trembling in the front of the class, and Ms. Sokoloff could distinctly see the hint of tears brimming in the newcomer's big brown eyes. The twenty-two year old huffed and looked to the story circle where all of her anger for the past eight weeks had been undeniably directed at.
"Jesus, Suck-it-lots, are you on the rag or somethin'?"
Ms. Sokoloff's eyes narrowed into slits and she glared at the obnoxious eleven-year old boy, who was looking between her and the new girl with an absurdly inappropriate amount of cockiness for a boy so young. She tried to ignore just how inappropriate it was that the young Jew was taking the Christian Messiah's name in vain, but instead salvage the situation as the new addition to their summer camp was clearly petrified as she clutched a rather large white box in her tiny, trembling hands.
"Before we were so rudely interrupted by Mr. Puckerman's idiocy, I was going to introduce this lovely young woman to all of you. She and her parents have just moved from Cleveland, and we should all treat her kindly and build friendships in the final four weeks we have before you're all off to the secondary school," Ms. Sokoloff regained her sensible footing rather quickly. Increasing amounts of exposure over the summer to the son of evil had clearly given her the ability to rebound from violent explosions nicely. She actually managed a reassuring smile at the little girl who was looking at her with uncertain eyes. "Everyone, this is Rachel Berry…Rachel, would you like to tell the class a little about yourself?"
Noah rolled his eyes as the girl in the front of the room clearly did not want to do show and tell. She didn't seem capable of speaking words in the English language. He looked outside, knowing that it was a beautiful day, not too hot, not too humid…perfect for at least six hours of basketball in the back of the synagogue. If little miss pink overall dress could ever get done with her boring him to death, he could be outside scamming the older kids on the court.
"Spit it out already!" Noah growled. He leveled a glare at the trembling girl and was surprised to see that all the tears that had been in her eyes had disappeared. His green gaze widened imperceptibly as she shot a laser-like glare his way. This looked like it was about to get interesting. Sure his ma called him a troublemaker, but he really did enjoy interesting.
Before he had time to goad the girl into a full-on tantrum he suddenly felt something heavy plonk against his forehead, blurring his vision for the slightest of moments as the box Rachel Berry had been holding rebounded off his head and burst open on the floor in front of him.
"My name is Rachel Berry!" Rachel shouted, all of her shyness at being in a new place with a lot of new faces disappearing completely as her rage fueled a confidence she had previously only felt when on stage. "I baked those cookies as a thank you for welcoming me so graciously into your community…but I realize that I'd much rather have rude, inconsiderate little pigs of boys CHOKE ON THEM!"
The other young children in the room looked between a dazed Noah and a piping and boiling Rachel as if it were the most interesting tennis match ever played. Jacob Ben Israel actually stood up, raising his hand as he stared at Rachel in intense fascination.
"Yes, Jacob?" Ms. Sokoloff questioned, eager to shift the focus off of Rachel and Noah's albeit hilarious but highly distracting behavior.
"Will you marry me, Rachel Berry?" the young boy asked, his voice breathy and deadly serious.
Rachel furrowed her eyebrows as a look of disgust etched on her face, but could not refuse outright, because Noah decided to start howling with laughter.
"Jacob, you dill-weed, you're totally going to have a restraining order by the end of the day, you loser!" Noah cackled. He looked down at the box that had busted on the ground next to him and pulled the pink ribbon that had been barely keeping it together at that point. He pocketed the ribbon and bent downwards as Ms. Sokoloff tried to get the group under control. He inhaled deeply and felt his stomach rumbling immediately.
"No way did you bake these," Noah said loudly, grabbing one of the perfectly shaped circles of sugary cookies that had light pink icing on it. He sniffed at it and actually felt his mouth water at the sugary and buttery treat. Sure he was a good Jew, but the thing smelt like freaking Christmas and everything! He crammed the whole thing into his mouth and his eyes bulged unattractively as he stared at this Rachel Berry character as she finally sat down, as far away from both him and Jacob Ben Israel as she could . "EFFIN SCHMIDT DEES ARE OSOME!"
Rachel watched in horrified wonder as the disgusting Noah continued to shove cookie after cookie into his mouth, muffled words of delight and ecstasy spewing out of his mouth along with spittle and crumbs. Before she knew it he had to have at least demolished a half dozen of the four dozen cookies she had brought.
"I did most certainly bake them," she finally replied haughtily. She shrugged and said, "If you had let me introduce myself properly, you would have learnt that I excel at very many things, but the top three are singing, dancing, and baking world famous sugar cookies. My recipe was featured in Ladies Home Magazine when I was eight!"
Noah rolled his eyes at her bragging tone and shoved another cookie in his mouth, "Whatever. Make more for tomorrow."
"You can't possibly think that after you ruined my first day in class, I'm going to bake you more?" Rachel scoffed. "Those cookies are world famous. They are a delightful treat that you should only get after you've earned them."
"I don't earn shit," Noah scoffed.
Rachel's eyes went wide at his cursing. They were after all in the basement of a place of worship! She shook her head and insisted, "The only way you are going to get any more of them Mr…"
"Puck." He sneered, popping another cookie into his mouth.
Rachel squinted and saw his little name tag hanging from his neck and said, "Mr. Noah Puckerman…the only way you'll get another batch of those, is if you do something to truly deserve it. Believe me, I mean it!"
Noah sneered at her as she rose and walked away, staring down at the thirty-seven cookies he had left. He wondered if she was for real. You can't just throw a box of cookies at a guy's head one day and then decide he doesn't get any more unless he saves a puppy or something. That was just cruel. It was like what his Uncle Ben had talked about with his wife and their marital relations. Apparently he had to take out the garbage and make sure the lawn was in good shape every Saturday if he wanted to get his special treat.
Besides she should be thanking him with another batch already. His clever disruptions in class had made it nearly impossible for her to do that embarrassing introduce yourself crap that Suck-it-lots made all of them do.
He reached for another cookie and took the time to savor it this time. He didn't want to push his luck. He'd have to make these last if she was really going to cut him off already.
Noah Puckerman sniffed the air…he hadn't caught wind of that particularly delicious treat in quite a while. He looked around suspiciously, making sure that none of his peers would see McKinley's resident BAMF sniffing the air like a freaking greyhound. He turned the corner and there she was, the reason for all the pain, annoyance and hysterectomies in the world, pulling that obnoxiously pink trolley bag with one hand while her other hand clutched a large white bakery box with a pink ribbon tied precariously around it.
That was definitely it! He could smell those damned cookies at least a mile away. He stepped in front of her very suddenly, his arms crossed in front of him as he smiled down at her with more self-assurance than any other man in the world should possess on his face.
She was surprised at his sudden appearance, although she shouldn't be. This had been happening for the last six years. Ever since he had the first dozen of cookies crammed in his mouth, he was like a drug crazed addict. She squinted at him suspiciously and demanded, "And what have you done lately, Noah, to warrant the gift of cookies?"
"My sexiness doubles every hour on the hour, Berry," Noah said smoothly, raising one eyebrow at her. She didn't blush, she didn't giggle and she certainly didn't look very impressed. He shrugged and said, "I haven't thrown a slushie at you in like three months."
"We've been out of school for last three months, Noah! And Sokoloff would murder you if you slushied me in the sanctity of the synagogue. Not to mention what your brilliantly violent mother would do," Rachel said superiorly. "I apologize if I refuse to be impressed by your amazing three month stretch of not torturing me horribly. But nothing you have done in the last six years have warranted you getting another batch of these cookies!"
"That's not true!" Puck countered peevishly. "I kinda remember having them loads of times in the last six years."
"Regardless, these are welcoming cookies for Glee club. An informational meeting is being held today, and Mr. Schuester is really bringing new life to the…"
"Spare me the really fucking boring lecture about that club, Berry," Noah groaned.
Rachel shifted her weight between her two feet rapidly, looking around at the deserted hallways before whispering, "I truly wish you would reconsider your stance on this…just think of how proud your mother would be if you started living up to your potential, Noah."
"I. Will. Never. Join. Glee." Noah intoned his words with as much vehemence and clarity as he could, hoping that just once, he would get it through her incredibly thick skull. She had been covertly trying to talk to him the past week, ever since those damned audition lists went up. She had even called his mother, and he was super pissed that he had to hear the nagging every night about doing something creative and constructive with that lovely little Jewish girl.
"If you would join Glee, I'd give you cookies for life," Rachel suddenly announced. "You're incredibly talented at the guitar, I've seen you playing it for the last six summers of my life, and I know you can sing, because your mother has told-"
"SHUT IT BERRY!" Puck hissed. "NEVER."
He reached out a quick hand, hoping to snatch the box full of delicious goodies before she could annoy him into taking his own life. She actually made a growling sound that surprised the hell out of him as she maneuvered out of his grasp.
"You know the rules, Noah. No cookies unless you do a good deed," Rachel chirped, walking very quickly away from him. "And if you join Glee? Cookies for life."
Good deed…sure he could do a good deed. He walked through the hallway the next day, just as Rachel was checking out the audition list, probably hoping to see his name on the deathlist to loserdom. He felt his hand flinch slightly as she turned around and before she could even register what was happening, she was covered in the frozen red beverage.
He didn't listen to her shriek, he didn't listen to the accolades his peers were laying at his feet for another classic Slushey-ing. He just stomped out of the school, his badassness floating around him like some awesome effin' cape of badassity. He got to his truck and looked suspiciously at his front driver's side tire, where perched on top was the tiniest white box wrapped in a pick ribbon with a small note attached to it.
"Just a little reminder…Glee rehearses at 3:30pm on Wednesdays and Thursdays."
He sighed heavily. Now he felt like an ass. He ripped into the box, pocketing the ribbon absent-mindedly before popping a star shaped cookie into his mouth. He hummed in satisfaction and immediately forgot about Rachel's Glee quest, slushies and football. The cookies really were that damned good.
Thanks for reading!