Cal Lightman is no fool.
He convinces himself that he's not worthy of her—that he'll tarnish her intrinsically unblemished soul. But at the same time, he's coming to realize that he needs her, as much more than his Leo. It's selfish really, but he can't envision a future without her.
So he'll play the game once again. Light-hearted jokes, playful banter. Rendezvous with his ex. Biding his time until he can become someone worthy of her love.
He's kidding himself. He's a broken man, and he'll never be able to "fix" himself on his own. "Maybe," he muses, "she's the catalyst."
He sees the way she looks at him, embracing him with her eyes. He notices the way she finds an excuse to lay a hand on his shoulder or run her fingers over his stubble. But he also knows, damnit, that she'll retreat behind that bloody line of hers, should he ever give voice to his feelings.
But who's to say that someone else won't sweep her off her feet for good this time? How long before he loses his chance to tell her that he loves her?
Then again, he's pretty sure she already knows. And it wouldn't take an expert to decipher her true feelings.
She pulls away.
He's hurt her too many times.
She can't afford to be so emotionally invested in someone like him. A hurricane.
But she can't envision a future without him, because loving Cal Lightman is not something you can stop doing. She feels his pull, gravitational in strength, and surrenders herself to it. Resistance is futile.
Love is imminent.